Some friendly words? I have lung cancer and I don't know who to talk to

[ILoveDolly]

I have just had surgery to remove a tumour, cancerous, from my lung.
I am not a smoker, it was my 40th birthday this week and I have three small children.
I don't want to burden my friends or family with too much dark talk partly because I feel weird even admitting my thoughts to myself.
I put my whole career on hold to have my kids and was planning to go back to work this year so my husband could scale back his hours. Now I feel like my life is ending and I will ruin everything we planned, no happy family life for my kids and a long hard journey for my husband and can't achieve what I wanted either. My brother's wife died last year leaving him a widower so he's gutted by my news because its completely brought everything back and my mum's not coping.
I don't know what to do. So I turned to MN. At least it's anonymous.

Sorry to hear that. Rant away. And be kind to yourself.

Hugs to you. Don't be scared of the dark thoughts; thinking does not change anything. Allow the darkest thoughts in, then they will be less scary than if you try to ignore them.

All I can say is, I used to see those posters about a mystery cough potentially being cancer and laugh. Turns out that young, non-smokers get lung cancer too.

I'm so sorry. When do you get the results from your op back?

I can't image all the thoughts that must be going through your head. Hopefully you can talk more about it all here. It's good to get it all out. I think I would turn to MN too in your situ, lots of support here.

Sorry about you SIL

That is really shit. I'm so sorry. Was it caught early? Hoping there is some positive news for you.

For you op. I'm truly sorry to hear that, it sounds like there's been a lot going on.
Easy to say but can you focus on yourself and the kids? Can you do everything you can to enjoy every day with them? Can you write some notes in a book for them, how much you love them, your dreams for them, a bit of your story to take some pressure off yourself? I hope you get some good news soon please try to think of yourself not about how everybody else is feeling or what they're going through, you have enough on your shoulders xxx

OP

OP. What have your doctors said is going to happen now?

Thanks. I'm still hoping for the doctor to tell me there's a great treatment for this. I make a scrapbook of all the kids pics but looking at it is making me maudlin.

Good luck. Thinking of you

I'm so sorry. It's awful. I'm sure your friends and your dh wouldn't mind you opening up though? They probably don't know what to say either.

I'm guessing that with 3 young children you are used to putting others' needs first. Don't forget that you are important too, and it's fine to burden other people for a change.

I'm assuming that it's a positive thing that they were able to operate and remove the tumour. Thinking of you

Practical advise, ask to get into the matrix trial at Birmingham university hospital. And don't give up until the rumour is fully tested xx

Where abouts are you? My DF has lung cancer, and I found the Macmillan support boards very helpful.

Shit sorry for the typos. It's Bham Uni but the hospital is the QE

OP there is a place here just for you It's a cancer support thread.

I think pouring out your innermost thoughts and feelings on here is probably going to be cathartic for you. I can only imagine the weight of the world feels like it's on your shoulders right now.

What's the next step treatment wise?

Sending you love and hugs from one youngish mum to another

Also read up on immunotherapy. So sorry you’re going through this. No other words. Hope you get decent post op news

You must be reeling from all this.

I hope you will feel better once you have enough information to make a ‘plan’.

Huge love .

I think the early bits of the diagnosis are the worst. Because even when they’re telling you crap news, it’s weirdly easier to deal with when you know what can be done about it.

The waiting for treatment paths to be assessed and decided on, is a challenging time. Do you know how long it’ll take them to run whatever tests are needed?

I'm not sure if the following will help but my Dad had lung cancer at 60. A lifelong smoker and not particularly fit meant his prognosis was bleak. He had over half a lung removed to remove his tumours and months of radiotherapy and chemo.
He is now almost 70, fit and well and most importantly still with us.
Have you started any other treatment? At 40 and a non smoker you must be reasonably fit and well, my friend recently went through cancer treatment and seemed to cope better with it because she was young and previously very well.
So sorry to read your post, please keep posting here for support

Wanted you to know, I read and felt for you. Talk to us on here x

My dh's young, non smoking friend had lung cancer. He was lucky because his type required no other follow up than the op due to it being a non a greasiness kind. fingers crossed you get a good result too.

ILoveDolly sorry about your diagnosis and hope you've recovered well from your surgery . It must be hard with 3 small children to give yourself the time you need to recover.
I have a family friend who basically recovered from lung cancer and is living in remission now , she had it years ago and I don't know all the details but I do know that she lives a normal healthy life now , she is much older that you.
Come to the cancer support thread linked by TwitterQueen .

DH has just had his lung removed. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in the autumn and felt like you do, was convinced he was living on borrowed time. He's a little more hopeful now, he has been in intensive care for a week but may be coming home next week.

for you, take it easy and be kind to yourself. Do you know whether the cancer had spread into the lymph nodes, or was the tumour that was removed the only cancerous growth?

Hi everyone, thanks I needed some kind words going through this patch. I had hoped the surgery would completely remove mine but there are signs in the immediate area that suggest not. I will check in with the other thread, it kind of seems so vast. A confusing time for me, and am stuck at home in rural nothingness as not allowed to drive. I will try to 'be kind to myself' I suppose I just feel so guilty as I was Mrs Do Everything, now I'm just indoors shuffling about like my granny.