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Original poster

What is happening? Please help.

47 replies

3littlerabbits · 16/08/2014 23:51

Mum has stage 4 cancer with bone mets. She finished chemo 3 months ago. She has been fine , doing everything until this week when she became nauseous, just lying in bed, not eating, vomiting, saying an occasional word but not much else.shes been into hospital for a few days. They did scans but said there are no new tumours or increase in size of the existing ones. She is home now but is still in the same state as above. I can't get Macmillan on the phone because it's the weekend. Out of hours doctors have prescribed anti sickness medicines. What I want to know is - is she going to come out of this or does this sound like the end? Thank you x

OP posts:
biscuitsandbandages · 16/08/2014 23:58

Sorry you are going through this with your poor mum :-(

I cant answer your question but it sounds more likely that something has gone awry rather as when people move towards the end it is usually more gradual.

I dont suppose you know if they checked her calcium level while she was in hospital do you?

Lots of things can cause what you describe but high calcium from the bone mets is one of them and is reversible.

BringMeSunshine2014 · 17/08/2014 00:02

I don't know my love - it doesn't sound too good.

Surely Macmillan are contactable over the weekend? I'd keep trying if I were you and if not the local hospice should be able to help you in the morning.

Is there any chance your Mum was trying to protect you by saying nothing had changed?

Sending you lots of love & strength
x

Original poster
3littlerabbits · 17/08/2014 00:03

Thanks biscuits - I just googled that and the symptoms do match. I don't know if they tested for this when she was in hospital. It seems impossible to find out anything out of 9-5 hours. I will phone the out of hours doctor and ask. Thank you for your kind words . I am lost , we don't know what to do here .

OP posts:
Original poster
3littlerabbits · 17/08/2014 00:05

Hi sunshine, the doctor told us nothing has changed. We asked away from my mum. Maybe she has told them not to say anything to us though. I hadn't thought of that.

OP posts:
Original poster
3littlerabbits · 17/08/2014 00:06

I did try Macmillan but the number says they are now closed .

OP posts:
BringMeSunshine2014 · 17/08/2014 00:12

Are you in the UK?

Is she awake now or sleeping?

Original poster
3littlerabbits · 17/08/2014 00:14

Yes in UK. She appears to be sleeping. I m on a mattress in her room.

OP posts:
BringMeSunshine2014 · 17/08/2014 00:17

I have just had a look at the Macmillan site, it is only M-F but they have an online community, have you seen it? I have put a link HERE it might be worth joining up to talk to others going through the same thing as well as people on here.

If you can wait until the morning I'd contact the local hospice - ours was utterly brilliant, I can't praise them enough.

BringMeSunshine2014 · 17/08/2014 00:22

If you get scared in the night ring for an ambulance - it's what they're there for and just being in the hospital is reassuring (well, I found it so anyway).

If your Mum seems OK through the night then call the hospice in the morning.

The on Monday call the hospital and speak to them. Tell them she is worse than when she went in before and ask what you should do.

They might be able to sort out something relatively simple (like the calcium thing) and they might not, but the very least they can do is tell you what to expect at this stage.

I recently had a scare with my Mum and it was terrifying, I really, really feel for you and wish I could be there to keep you company.
x

Original poster
3littlerabbits · 17/08/2014 00:22

So nice of you. I will try that link now, thank you. I don't know how to feel or what to do. Your response and biscuits have been a lifeline x

OP posts:
Blondieminx · 17/08/2014 00:39

I really sympathise, my DDad is also stage 4 & at home. I'm so sorry.

Call the hospital, as to speak to the on call registrar, ask them if calcium tests were done and what the levels were? There may be some additional surge your DMum can have to ease the cause of those symptoms.

In the morning have a chat with the hospice. First thing Monday you will also want to have a word with your Mum's GP. Ask her GP for a home visit to agree an end of life plan.

You should also send off for one of these

It's so hard, all this Sad

chocolatespiders · 17/08/2014 01:01

Your local hospice may have a hospice at home team that could pop in... Hope mum is comfortable

MrsSlave · 17/08/2014 01:06

Just want to let you know that you and your Mum are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thanks

Selks · 17/08/2014 01:23

Yes mine too. Thinking of you and wishing you a peaceful night.

Original poster
3littlerabbits · 17/08/2014 03:29

Thank you. She just tried to get up to go to the loo and was all over the place. I had to help her up and to the bathroom. She would have tumbled if I hadn't. She seems string but balance is off, maybe? This is not good. She hasn't been sick again though.

OP posts:
BringMeSunshine2014 · 17/08/2014 07:40

I hope you both managed to get some sleep after the trip to the toilet.

I really hope that you can get some help this morning from the hospice or the hospital. The 'not knowing what it means' or what will happen next is terrifying. Sadly you can't change what's happening, but you can be informed so you know what to expect.

Bastard cancer :(

Selks · 17/08/2014 10:05

How are things going today so far OP?

Original poster
3littlerabbits · 17/08/2014 11:12

Morning, same as yesterday. I phoned the out of hours doctor and they are sending someone to the house to see mum. She spit up a bit this morning but no other sickness so that's something. The doctor I spoke to said he was pretty sure they would have tested for hypercalcemia and she would be going to the loo very frequently if it was that but she isn't so looks like it isn't that. Don't know what to do. Hopefully the doctor who comes here will help. God this is bad.

OP posts:
Selks · 17/08/2014 12:42

Are you on your own with your Mum? Do you have any other support?

BringMeSunshine2014 · 17/08/2014 14:43

Hi, has the Dr been? How is your Mum this afternoon? Have you spoken to the hospice?

Sorry for all the questions Brew & Cake

Big Hug for you both
x

sebsmummy1 · 17/08/2014 15:04

This sounds really scary, I hate that these things seem to happen over the weekend when no help is available bar Emergency services. Thinking of you OP xx

Original poster
3littlerabbits · 17/08/2014 17:42

Thanks for thinking us. A doctor came out and said she needed to try a new anti nausea medication so that's been put into the syringe driver now. They put some steroid medication in too. Hopefully this will make the difference. My dbs are here now and my dh and the dc. My dad too - he can't do anything really - he's in pieces. My dc are under 5, there's 3 of them so dh busy with them. We are nearly through the weekend now so hopefully tomorrow I can get mums GP and the oncologist and Macmillan and all the rest. You ladies have been a lifeline in the last 24 hours. Thank you so much.

OP posts:
Original poster
3littlerabbits · 17/08/2014 17:46

Bringmesunshine - she's exactly the same - eyes closed, nauseous, not communicating. At least she's not worse at least. Bad times. I have had some mini caramel squares and some tea though, delicious, cheers for that x

OP posts:
BringMeSunshine2014 · 17/08/2014 17:49

I'm pleased you have some company at last, it's not quite so scary when there are others there, even if they aren't coping well or are busy. I hope your DH & DB's are lovely & supportive. Your poor Dad :(

Do you have someone who can look after the children tomorrow so you can be with your Mum? (sorry, not sure if you live near by or if you are all 'away' at your Mum's etc).

Hopefully you can contact people in the morning and get some help & answers.

Thinking of you all
Thanks

KillmeNow · 17/08/2014 17:56

My SIL has had very similar symptoms while coping with recovery from cancer surgery. We thought she was really failing and were very worried.
She was very very confused .Didnt know who were were and asked questions several times (when she talked at all that is) and was really unsteady on her feet where that had never been a problem before. She just wasnt herself at all.

The paramedics who came were going to administer antibiotics just in case but something stopped them and they contacted her GP. The GP came out and decided to have her in for tests. Turned out it was Hyperglycaemia and was treatable. Took a little while but she was eventually restored to her own normality.

The GP said that if they had given her antibs it might have camouflaged the symptoms so it was a good job the paramedics had the sense to stop. She didnt go to the loo much though even though her levels were really high ( but cant remember what they were ).

Its such a worry when these things start at the weekends and you feel so alone ,trying to walk the tightrope between coping and panicking with no medical support to call on.

Hope your Mum gets the help she needs soon.