Onwards and Upwards: Staying stale in the teacup of life

[biscuitsandbandages]

This is my 3rd thread as I go from a shock diagnosis of leukaemia towards what will hopefully be a cure.

Life is shit but I am strong and there will be happy times again.

Thank you everyone for your ongoing suppport x

Neutrophils keep coming and going (zero again today) they think because when they are released they go straight to fight this infection that the antibiotics are only keeping at bay.

Ive had zero Internet for the past 2 days as well. Its amazing how cut off you feel!

It's great that at least they're coming. Everything crossed.

Neutrophils I want you back, want you back, want you back for good

No internet is harsh. Hope you're back online to stay now.

Stay strong x

Legion, I like your style!
Come and stay wee neutrophils!

ah that's just the scouting party of neutrophils getting the lie of the land, once they report back the neutrophil army will muster and launch a full on offensive against all infection :-) they will return en masse, mumsnet has spoken!

The only question I asked the transplant nurse when she called was whether they have wifi on their ward (they do)

Eating more today and nice to know that taste buds can regrow :-) I feel really odd looking in the mirror and seeing myself with no hair.

Am quite worried as they are discussing stopping the antibiotics as ive been on them nearly two weeks. Im fairly sure I will get poorly again if they do and it worries me. They say they will just restart if that happens but that mwans another day of thinking im going to die.

Neutrophil army is off having a diet coke and a packet of crisps somewhere and still not making an appearance!

glad to see you've got your priorities right biscuits - wifi is certainly one of the essentials of life, particularly on a hospital ward

remember the army marches on it's stomach - so the crisps are probably on the essential supplies list ...... I do have one friend who was diagnosed with something life limiting (forgive me for not remembering its long name in full technicolour) and, when I knew her, was 9 yrs beyond the date they'd given for her demise. She always reckoned she'd managed to "pickle the bugger" with salt n vinegar Monster Munch and alcohol......

Mumsnet expects every neutrophil to do his duty and report to biscuits today.

Very frustrating for you Biscuits, but keep on hanging on in there- you're doing great. My transplant donation has been put back a couple of weeks because my db needed an extra blast of treatment... And who knows, it could be put back again. One thing I've learned is that the treatment programmes are fine tuned. I guess that's a double edged sword because in some ways it would be easier to have a definite plan with dates from the outset, but on the other side, it shows how far treatment has come, that the doctors are constantly testing, scanning etc and personalising the treatment to give YOU the best chance to not just get into remission but be cured.

Yeah I know you are right lines. Its just so frustrating.

Baby r is 6months old today.
Clearly getting home for her half birthday is not going to be happening.

Happy 6 month birthday to Baby R - I'm sure she'll happily wait for when you get home for the real celebrations biscuits, as will the rest of your lovely family!

Happy 6th months to baby R!

I'm so sorry things seem to be happening slowly, and that you're still stuck in hospital.

But..you're still here fighting, so that you'll see her 1st birthday and many many more. In no time you'll be planning her 18th and all this will seem a distant memory.

P.S on the biscuit front, have you tried the really chocolatey ones made by Foxes? Can't remember the name, but I highly recommend them!

Happy half year to Baby R.

Sorry you can't be there, but am sure you will be therefor the all important one year birthday.

Oh very sad & frustrating about being stuck in hospital for baby R's birthday. Know how much you wanted to be at home, biscuits

But things are gonna happen, for the good, and soon. Hang on in there and focus on the many more Baby R birthday celebrations to come. Short term pain; long term gain. The Long Game, remember biscuits!

Happy half year to baby R. Hangin there biscuits, you are doing great. Thinking of you, as always. Stay stale xx

A huge happy 1/2 birthday to baby R

I agree with mumsfret, short term pain, long term gain. It sucks that you're not home today but you're doing an important job growing those neutrophils

Morning Biscuits! Hope the neutrophils make an appearance today! X

Morning Biscuits. Hoping those neutrophils are on the way today! Thinking of you.

Cuddles with all threee of my little monsters today. Very affectionate boys this afternoon and a snuggly sleepy little girl joined me for an evening nap later. My neutrophils are 0.1 for two days running. I had an mri for leg pain and now they think they might be slow to show up as any that are made are going to fight a rather painful area of infection in my pelvis that the antibiotics has only been able to keep under control.... hopefully they will win, I will need less morphine and my counts will improve soon.

Oh biscuits I hope those neutrophils start kicking some ass soon and get you a break.

Glad you enjoyed you cuddles today. I'm sure they helped the battle going on inside you xx

ah they were on a secret mission inside enemy territory - excellent, good job boys, carry on!

Argh!

Having a day contemplating (obsessing about) my mortality again. Ive had a copy of the clinic letter arrive from the transplant consultant and although nothing in there is new, seeing my poor prognosis in black and white is ovwrwhelming.

I dont want to die. Leukaemia is probably going to be on my death certificate. Its a question of when not if although I feel so well at the moment its impossible to get my head around. I want to think ppsitively but there is a 15 to 20 % chance that I wont survive the transplant process and thats terrifying.

Oh Biscuits, your post puts everything else into perspective...

There is nothing I can say to make it even remotely better other than you are doing all you can to be around as long as possible.

You have a strong team behind you made up of your specialist team, your health care team, Mr Biscuits and the crumbs, your family, your friend and an army of invisible mumsnetters willing you on.

We are all here for you.

Stay stale xx

It's not a 15% / 20% chance that you won't! it's an 80%/ 85% chance that you will!!