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Original poster

Onwards and Upwards: Staying stale in the teacup of life

1000 replies

biscuitsandbandages · 28/07/2014 08:41

This is my 3rd thread as I go from a shock diagnosis of leukaemia towards what will hopefully be a cure.

Life is shit but I am strong and there will be happy times again.

Thank you everyone for your ongoing suppport x

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FarelyKnuts · 05/09/2014 21:31

Oh biscuits that must be very hard to hear. It's great that he is talking to the childminder though and getting to voice his worries. I hope she is a lovely compassionate person who can offer him lots of reassurance as well.
Thanks for you my lovely

OrangeyTulips · 05/09/2014 21:39

Thanks to you Biscuits. But you and the doctors are working hard on your health and your transplant is this month. Your ds sounds such a sweetheart. my ds sends hugs to you all.

Goldmandra · 05/09/2014 22:12

biscuits that must be heartbreaking Sad

You're doing the right thing by being as honest and positive as possible but he's chosen to bring this up with the childminder for a very good reason. He clearly needs to explore the possibilities, including the horribly frightening thought that he may lose you but he also knows that bringing it up with close family will cause distress.

He must have a good relationship with his childminder to have chosen to trust her with his thoughts. Do you have a Macmillan nurse who could contact her with advice on how she could support him?

He clearly knows the facts in an age appropriate way. What he might need now is someone to help him explore his feelings about those facts and that someone probably needs to be a person whose own feelings he doesn't have to worry about.

I'm pleased to hear he is enjoying school. I'm sure it's good for him to be spending so much time having to think about other things.

saffronwblue · 05/09/2014 22:45

biscuits that is tough to hear. What a dear little boy trying to make sense of it all and clearly making a good choice of someone he can talk to. Onward and upward. x

DashingRedhead · 06/09/2014 12:36

How very difficult ??

My DD had weekly sessions with a play therapist at school to help her through. I didn't ask her too much about it as I wanted it to be her space but she loved the therapist and does seem to have coped very well so far. The head told us about it and referred her. Is it worth asking the school if they offer something like that? And is your childminder ok with dealing with it because as a pp said Macmillan can help out with that kind of thing. They have some very useful literature.

Original poster
biscuitsandbandages · 06/09/2014 14:28

Thank you, thats very helpful.

Our childminder is lovely and very experienced and we had talked before about what we were telling the children and how but I think it still caught her off guard. Apparently he was very unconcerned and said I would be happy in heaven (odd because heaven isnt the word we use for it... we say in Allahs garden)

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magimedi · 06/09/2014 17:56

Oh biscuits, that's bought a lump to my throat.

Your childminder sounds lovely & you are certainly handling this the right way.

Goldmandra · 06/09/2014 19:20

Apparently he was very unconcerned and said I would be happy in heaven

I think that's probably more about him testing her to see how she would react than his real feelings. If she's passed the test, he'll probably bring it up again.

She does sound lovely.

Original poster
biscuitsandbandages · 06/09/2014 20:25

I think you are probably right. He is very clingy to me at the moment.

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FarelyKnuts · 06/09/2014 23:18

He might be picking up the concept of heaven at school biscuits?

And yes, the unconcerned bit is probably him looking to see how she will react first, if she is calm and approachable then he will be able to come back to it in his own way.

Much care Thanks

ssd · 08/09/2014 16:39

it does sound like he's testing her, hence the use of the word heaven, is that the word she would use? she sounds lovely and worth her weight in gold.

Aethelfleda · 08/09/2014 16:45

Thinking of you biscuits, hope it's going OK back at home and that you are getting stronger and keeping the dreaded lurgies at bay with your rocketting neutrophil count xx

Original poster
biscuitsandbandages · 08/09/2014 18:07

Im going to keep an eyenon him and so is she but he seems otherwise ok and is loving school!

Almost as much as im loving being at honet. They are going to have to polyfilla the holes in the brickwork my fingers leave when I have to go back to hospital

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FarelyKnuts · 09/09/2014 09:48

It must be so lovely to be in your own space and to just wander round as you please in your house Biscuits. The simple things!

Original poster
biscuitsandbandages · 09/09/2014 13:39

Bliss!
Trying to forget Im half way through my month today and only have two more weeks of sleeping in my own bed.

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FarelyKnuts · 09/09/2014 15:40

Oh yes, definately selectively forget the date for a while!
Or at least as much as you can, you don't want it to turn into a dread filled count down, though I appreciate that is easier said than done.
What's the weather like in your part of the world today Biscuits?
Sun is splitting the rocks here in the west of Ireland. I am recovering from double pneumonia so I am shuffling from the couch to the back doorstep to throw the ball for the puppy every now and then and soak up a little vitamin D before the 5yo comes home from school :o

catsrus · 09/09/2014 18:41

but what a two weeks you will have biscuits Grin I'm sure you will savour every minute!

Legionofboom · 10/09/2014 11:54

Hi biscuits. I'm just checking in on your progress. I'm not able to be on MN so much at the moment but you are often in my thoughts.

I'm glad to hear that your DS is loving school and that you are enjoying this time at home with your family, getting stronger every day.

olympicsrock · 11/09/2014 07:23

Hello biscuits, am so glad you were able to be proud Mummy for DS2. It is good that he has been able to voice his fears about you dying to your lovely childminder. When my sister in law was ill we never promised anything that we couldn't keep. We just said Mummy is trying very hard to get better because she loves you very much and the doctors and nurses are trying really hard to get Mummy better. I think it was important that they knew they could trust us.

Stay stale and stay strong biscuits. you are an amazing woman who has brought 3 children into the world, and held down a demanding career . This is just another hurdle and when you look back in 10 years you will just say that it made you a stronger more compassionate person who appreciates how lucky you are. Keep your head high biscuits! xx M

cleanmachine · 11/09/2014 09:10

Hello biscuits. I've followed your story from the start but not posted. I had to delurk to say I'm soooo happy you are home. Sending you love and prayers.

Aethelfleda · 11/09/2014 13:22

Hope the day is going well biscuits

Princessdeb · 11/09/2014 14:01

Dear Biscuits,
I do hope you have enjoyed the lovely weather we have been having for the last few days. I was thinking of you when I was writing my DD's name in all her school clothes. Each one ended up a benediction, a thanks for the many blessings that I have that are so easy to take for granted.

It must be so hard when your DC's are clearly upset about your illness and looking for reassurance that all will be well. You're Mummy, right? You can always make things better? The desperate desire to say of course everything will be fine when at the back(or the front) of your mind you know that is a guarantee at the moment you can't give must be almost more than you can bear. But because you are an amazing, astounding woman and mummy you bite your tongue and allow that space for the unanswerable questions to sit. Your courage and selflessness will be rewarded because your DC's will find spaces where they can say the unsayable and this will help them heal whatever the outcome.

When you need to think, say, scream or shout the unsayable to someone without worrying about hurting their feelings then come here. There is always someone who will give you that space.

God Bless xx

Original poster
biscuitsandbandages · 11/09/2014 14:40

Thank you everyone for not abandoning me :-)

Its fantastic being home. Ok I have to take tablets, be careful with food and crowds and have a line iny arm but otherwise I feel normal. Walking a mile and a half to pick ds2 up at lunch time and have dd 7m home all day. Its bliss.

I have 12 more days before I go in to start the transplant process and im making them count.

Its weird to think I might never be this well again.

Dd is practising crawling and will be very mobile by the time im home again!

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Mumsfret · 11/09/2014 16:18

I've been checking in but not posted for a while, sorry biscuits. Things have been a bit tricky in RL so I've struggled to find a suitable time to compose thoughts and post. But definitely no hope of you being abandoned by your MN crew, m'lady!

I, too, thought of you when I was labelling uniforms! Love that you are loving being home, and it's a great reminder to me to be grateful and count my blessings too. The weather here is lovely. Hope it is where you are too (especially for that walk to pick up your DS).

Lovely posts from PrincessDebs & Olympics - and the rest of the gang. I wonder how many of us there are in biscuits cheerleading team now!

Keep being fabulous, biscuity one! I bet Mr Biscuits & the wee crumbs are loving having you home even more than you are enjoying being there, if that is even possible.

concernedaboutheboy · 11/09/2014 23:26

I'm still reading and cheering you on too. You sound like you're really enjoying being at home. Walking a mile and a half = amazing.

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