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Life-limiting illness

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Looks like we're nearing the end. ? Last few days

108 replies

VivaLeBeaver · 13/11/2013 19:18

My dad is ill with terminal cancer and has taken a turn for the worse. They gave him a few weeks about eight weeks ago.

He's now stopped eating. Drs have said it may only be days now.

He's getting discharged tomorrow and we have a care package in place. Overnight carer, other carers three times a day, district nurse.

I've been visiting him this afternoon and he looks quite well. Was sat in a chair, talking. He's forgetting some words and gets frustrated as at times he can't say what he wants to.

I know its really hard to judge but I'm struggling to know when to not go into work. I initially told my boss I wouldn't be in the rest of the week as from what I was told on Monday I didn't think he'd be with us by the weekend. But today he's looking so well I've told my boss ill be in tomorrow, which she says its good as I only get so many days off allowed.

As it stands I haven't had any time off yet. Dad is only ten mins down the road so I can visit in evenings. Will I know when I need to be there?

My gran died very quickly and even though she was only ten mins down the road and I left as soon as I got a phone call I didn't make it to the nursing home in time. Ideally I wouldn't be going to work this week as I'd like to spend as much time as I could with my dad but if he did live for another two or three weeks I don't think my boss would be very impressed.

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 25/11/2013 20:28

I'm back home now but I'll tell him tomorrow that its ok to go.

Thanks everyone, really appreciate it. It does help, writing it all down.

Dd is taking it really badly. She's been getting badly bullied at school lately and has been saying she wants to die which the school know about. I told the school last week about her grandad.

Then today she's come home hysterical as she's been bollocked for not concentrating which is most unlike her, she normally works really hard. So you think they'd realise. Then another lesson the whole class got a break time detention which she forgot about. So another bollocking and a proper detention tomorrow. She's never been in trouble before.

OP posts:
toffeesponge · 25/11/2013 20:49

I would be reminding school her granddad is dying and you would have thought they could have cut your DD some slack and asked why they haven't?

StarlightMcKenzie · 25/11/2013 20:51

She'll find it hard to lose her Grandad but also hard to cope with her feelings of worry for you.

Stoopid school.

elliegoulding · 25/11/2013 21:03

I feel for you, I hope he goes quickly and peacefully Thanks

TiredDog · 25/11/2013 21:35

Can you ask to speak to her tutor?

VivaLeBeaver · 26/11/2013 00:19

Dad passed away a few hours ago. Got a phone call to get back which I quickly did. Was there half an hour and he died. It was quite peaceful really.

OP posts:
Weegiemum · 26/11/2013 00:21

Viva I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. I'm glad you were able to be with him. Can't imagine what it's like, but sending you Thanks

Dumpylump · 26/11/2013 00:22

Oh Viva, I'm so sorry. X

Terrortree · 26/11/2013 00:24

May he rest well. My thoughts are with you.

FreakinScaryCaaw · 26/11/2013 00:27

Sorry to hear your sad news Thanks

Take care of yourself and know you did right by him. x

GoshAnneGorilla · 26/11/2013 00:31

I'm so sorry for your loss, but I am glad that you were able to be with him x

YoniMatopoeia · 26/11/2013 00:35

Oh Viva Sad

So sorry for your loss. I went through something similar in Feb when mum died (though hers was somewhat unexpected)

I am sending you strength and holding you in my thoughts.

DoctorWhoPrefersToFlySolo · 26/11/2013 00:41

Glad you were able to be there Viva.

So sorry for your loss. God rest your lovely Dad.x

urbanturban · 26/11/2013 00:42

I'm so sorry Viva-am glad you were with him at the end. Thinking of you and your family over the next few days. Xx

BrianTheMole · 26/11/2013 00:44

I'm sorry Viva.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 26/11/2013 06:21

So sorry Viva, but good that you were there and good that it was peaceful.

He was ready. Smile

Wrap yourself and dd in all these MN Flowers today and then sort the school out over the detention when you are strong enough. x

rubyflipper · 26/11/2013 06:23

So sorry to hear this. May he rest in peace.

StealthPolarBear · 26/11/2013 06:23

((Viva)) xx

LadyAlconleigh · 26/11/2013 06:25

So sorry xxx

TheQuietCricket · 26/11/2013 06:49

So sorry to hear your Dad has gone. It sounds like he was loved and cared for right up to the his last breath.

Could you pull your dd out of school for a day or so to have some time to adjust/grieve and perhaps let school know you're doing it because you don't think they have handled things well over the last couple of weeks ?

TiredDog · 26/11/2013 06:53

Flowers So sorry Viva

LegoAcupuncture · 26/11/2013 07:42

So very sorry Viva. Glad you were there for him. Flowers

Re your dd, keep her off the rest of the week and speak to school about counselling as she may need it.

SnakeyMcBadass · 26/11/2013 07:51

Sorry for your loss x

StarlightMcKenzie · 26/11/2013 08:01

Sorry for your loss Viva

Rikalaily · 26/11/2013 10:58

So sorry for your loss x