I bloody hate you, you bastarding disease

[McPhee]

Fuck off, do you hear me? Now just fuck the fuck off

Yesterday, we said goodbye to my Uncle after a long fight with Cancer. My wonderful, brave Uncle

Our family friend is also terminally ill with bowel cancer. He had a rupture, and had to have his bowel removed via emergency surgery a few days ago. This is the one thing he never wanted to happen. All he wants is his dignity

Today, I find out that my Best friends MIL has also now been diagnosed as terminal. All she had was a sore hip. Her body is riddled. She's got two grandchildren she cares for due to family reasons. I feel sick to the stomach about what could happen to those wonderful boys

How many more? I'm so angry tonight!

Bastarding horrible disease :(

We lost my darling grandad to stomach cancer 18 years ago and more recently my wonderfully funny uncle died from bowel cancer. Horrible, wicked disease :(

It is a terrible illness. Sorry for all who has lost loved ones to it.

Cancer is a dreadful illness. My mum has it, bone marrow cancer, she was diagnosed back in 1996, it is kept in check.

My friend just turned 40, mother of 3 sons, she has been battling cancer for a few years now. Started as breast cancer, she had a breast removed, went through chemo, lost her hair, felt dreadful. Then went into remission. It lasted less than a year. Cancer had spread to her skeleton. She was given 10 years max. Was told hormones and morphine was her best bet, as too advanced for chemo and radiotherapy, etc. She did not want that anyway, as it made her feel so sick. She said she knew she did not have long, but she wanted to have quality of life. Then was told it has spread to her liver, and was given months.

She promptly took her sons camping for "one last holiday with my boys", by tent to Sweden (they live in Norway). Her husband works off shore, so she is alone with them a lot. He will need to find a new job now. Everybody was amazed that she got to experience her 40th birthday a few weeks ago. She had a mahoosive party.

And in all this, I wonder, what do I get her for Christmas this year?? What do you want for Christmas when you know you are dying?

I felt that with MIL Quint. I found myself in M&S just sobbing trying to find her something for Christmas but knowing she wouldn't be able to appreciate it. It was surreal, and horrible.

"What do you want for Christmas when you know you are dying?"

We ended up giving most of mum's Xmas presents to charity, they'd never been used :(

I got MIL a photo frame and put pictures of the DC in it. She had it next to her bed . When DFIL passed 5 years later I got the picture back.

I think of expats beautiful daughter every day and the other babies in that ward.

A mum at toddlers, she was 37, rare form of liver cancer, died leaving a 7 and 5 yo.

It's a fucking awful disease, sometime I think at least heart attacks are quick, it's the fight beforehand, the awful side effects from the drugs, false hopes, remissions only for the bastard to come back

Horrid horrid disease.

When I really think about who it's affected in my life I'm so sad.

A fantastic friend just before his 50th birthday who truly showed me what a father should act like. He went after being diagnosed 10months before and in that time raised thousands for charity.

Another dear friend who was in a wheelchair since his twenties, so ever had kids sort of adopted me a a granddaughter. Died last year just before his70th birthday.

And a dear work colleague who lost his 11year old after two years off battling, we still raise funds for the charity in his honour now. He woud have been 21 now. :(

Big hugs to everyone affected. I've been reading your thread trazzle and have prayed and lit a candle for you and your family.

My son - 16 years old and fighting an aggressive malignant brain tumour diagnosed 19 days before his 16 th birthday. He fights every single day for some semblance of normality.

My heart fills with pride as I watch his dignity, join in his sense of humour, but then it breaks when I witness his pain, sickness and how he deals with the physical disabilities it has left him with.

I would change places with him in a heartbeat if it would give him a chance of a life.

Fucking bastard fucking cancer.

just lost my gawjuss friend to cancer 44 has 3dcs one with sn

My mum died form cervical cancer aged 37 in 1983.She left 4 children aged 6 to 12 years.
I miss her every day.
My heart is broken.
I have accepted it but it has affected my life in so many ways.

Life is so unfair

"What do you want for Christmas when you know you are dying?".

I think I would care less about material things and would want to know that my children would be well cared for once I am gone. So lots of love, time and chat. Time spent sharing old memories. Perhaps you could do something with her to leave as a memory for her DC. Be her strength as she builds memories for them.

Iam best of luck
Rinders sorry to hear about your DH
minmooch all my best wishes to your son

I know it is very painful when you have lost family members to cancer and it can be worrying. I am screened annually for breast cancer because my mother developed it before the age of 40. There are lots of professionals you can talk to if you are worried about a family history of cancer. Screening doesn't suit everyone but it can help to talk to someone about the options, it may be useful if you are sitting at home worrying. I am both thankful and grief stricken that I am now older than my mother was when she first developed cancer.

Aww minmoo, i hope he gets through it and goes in to remission.
It amazes me the strength, courage & humour these young children with cancer have, i remember this all well when my 16yo late brother had cancer.
Everyday he was ready to fight another day, in so much pain yet so courageous & always cracking jokes.
People like him are an inspiration to me, even when he had to have a 3 quarter amputation of his arm, it never got him down. Shame having his arm taken away didn't stop it, it had already gone secondary shortly after

So much courage, so much fight yet the fucking bastard one! It still makes me angry and i hate god for giving out this awful cancer, especially to children

Quint - for bil's last Christmas I bought him and sis a joint present. It was an antique brass candlestick - wee willie winkie style thing with a snuffer attached. He was really chuffed with it, loved anything like that and it's still in their home now. It broke my heart to buy it - I've never put so much thought in to anything. I thought of it as quite literally a light in the darkness.

Maybe I could invite her and her boys to London for a holiday?

How's your sister doing NL? I often think about her as our husband's deaths were so close together. Hope you're well too

She's doing well Rindercella thanks. She coped very well really, went away on a round the world trip last winter (avoiding being at home for their anniversary and Christmas) and now has a boyfriend I suspect there are wounds that won't ever heal but it is what it is.

How about you? I remember your beautiful man and your threads from that time so well. Looking back it's just a nightmare. I didn't realise how awful it was until I started to feel more normal again iyswim?

Quint
That sounds lovely or if there is somewhere she would particularly like to go with them perhaps perhaps organise a trip with her.

When my Dad was ill (but still reasonably well) I rented a cottage in the UK about halfway between us and him. He came on holiday with me, DH and the kids. We didn't do anything big just went for walks, fed ducks, ate ice cream etc. He died 3 months later. I am so glad that my children had that experience with him and we can get out the photos and say remember that day when we walked to the next village and Grandpa bought us all ice creams.

My mum, this January. Ten weeks after her diagnosis. She was only 65 and so beautiful, and she lost my dad only a year before she was told she was going to die. It would have been her birthday yesterday. I miss her.

Calamity
Birthdays are hard (((hug)))

I am so pleased she is doing okay NL. I think the wound stays for always, however well we live our lives going forwards. I am pretty sure that when I close my eyes at the end, it will be DH I see.

Quint, I think that sounds a lovely idea. Make sure you take lots of photos of your friend with her family and perhaps some videos so that their memories will be captured forever.

MNHQ have suggested the thread be moved to Life Limiting Illness. It seems to fit better than Bereavement or General Illness.

If it helps Quint this year we are focusing on the memory side of things. We're getting him the handprints of all the kids. Homemade cards. A scrapbook of art and memories. A mug which DD painted. We've decided on going to Cornwall, because that's where we met each other. If she wants a trip somewhere special, organised a trip with her and just enjoy each other.

Birthdays are hard Calamity. When it's my sister's birthday, it's mine too (we're twins) and I always feel odd knowing she should be celebrating too. Birthdays are harder than any other time because you have fantastic memories of giving them presents or seeing them, and other days just don't hold the same significance.

That sounds like an ideal place MNHQ

Thank you

@McPhee

That sounds like an ideal place MNHQ

Thank you

Hi OP, we've moved this thread into Life-Limiting Illness for you now.

On the back of this thread and another one, I have just joined the AN register, I am just under the BMI limit, I was hoping as I'm pregnant I could donate the umbilical cord and placenta after birth but my hospital doesn't do it, even though it's less than five mins away from the uni that deals with cord. :(