Wife is pregnant - I am ignored

[PeachMelba78]

I am in a civil partnership and my wife is carrying our first baby. She is 4 1/2 months pregnant and we are very excited. My problem is that a few people have been very cruel to me (inadvertently I hope!) by saying I am 'not the mummy' saying I will surely 'take on a paternal role' and telling me I am not expecting a baby sice I am not the one who is pregnant. Obviously the main people - myself, my wife are very happy with our relationship, and our midwife has been great. Our donor is a good friend of ours and he is always asking after us both and is excited for us.
I don't think I want any advice as such but it would be great to hear from someone in my position rather than the one who is carrying - my wife is very supportive but she doesn't have the hurtful comments first hand (I do tell her though, but they are aimed at me)

Hi,
I am a non-bio mum and my partner is giving birth to our first child in August. Most people have been great but I have had quite a hurtful response from a close family member who was so negative, in tone rather than words, when I told him that my partner was pregnant (after he knew that we were trying for a year). About 5 mins later he asked "so when will you have a baby yourself then?" some angry words followed and we haven't spoken for a few months as this was just the latest in a line of slurs and passive rejection of out relationship of several years.

Although most people are great they do seem to assume that I will be the "mumdad" or take a more paternal role and there are small things like having to apply for paternity leave at work even though I am quite clearly not a man.

I am looking forward to being a mum but worry about disappearing even more when my partner gives birth especially since she will have the network of nursery mums etc. My male friends who are fathers do have similar experiences to me but theirs is a well trodden and ultimately different path. Both of our sets of parent are great though as we are providing their first grandchild so they don't care where it comes from!