Very silly and embarassing question

[EverySingleStar]

I'm a lesbian trying to conceive with my partner (she will be the one carrying the baby) with a known donor. In about 3 years time I will hopefully be TTC with number 2 (same donor).

Both of us are pretty much gold stars and this is going to sound like a very silly question but I'm honestly worried about it...

Will either of us be able to have a vaginal birth? Sorry! Sorry!

Probably both of you, unless there are medical conditions which indicate ceasarian section.

Im sorry but i dont know what gold stars mean ........would like to help but as i dont know what thi s means i can t!!

why wouldn't you? It's not like dick stretches you enough for birth

i'm very intrigued as to why you think you wouldn't be able to... surely not because you are a lesbian??

Exactly, LFC!

......... unless you're worried about an unbroken hymen, but if you've ever used a tampon or a dildo that's long gone.... or will be once you've been inseminated (however you choose to do it!)... and even if it wasn't I don't believe that would stop a vaginal birth. A head coming down is going to pop it just the same as anything going up.

Good luck TTC

nope. rules state that unless you concieve after at least one shitty sex session with a bloke you have to produce baby from your ear.

honestly, lesbian or alien?

why on earthw ould you think you couldn't?

OOOOPS gET IT NOW sorry !!- I would say you wd have no problem unless another medical condition - the female form has had many years being able to give birth - have confidence in the bodys "knowledge "

haven't a clue what a gold star is either?

i'm presuming she means both she and her partner are 'virgins' in terms of vaginal penetration

[seeing as no one lese seemed to want to say it out loud]

i can't see any reason why it would change much OP.... trust me, cock going up doesn't prepare your fanjo in any way at all for baby coming down, there's a fair size differance even between a generous sized cock and a dinky baby

Can you imagine the raised eyebrows of mumsnetters if in heterosexual couples DP's/DH's waved their dicks around and said 'let me prepare you for birth'

think most of my ex's would be utterly flatterd to think that their cock prepared me in any way for my large of headed 7lb DS to be born.

"Can you imagine the raised eyebrows of mumsnetters if in heterosexual couples DP's/DH's waved their dicks around and said 'let me prepare you for birth'"

Laurie - roffle! That's got my vote for quote of the week.

Wow lots of replies. Helpful but I feel even more now.

Crying now as very emotional - would think pregnant if otherwise biologically impossible

I just wasn't sure if the vagina prepares itself for birth the exact same way with everyone or if it helped to be 'ahem' stretched out a bit first.

Gold star = no vaginal penetration by a man
TTC = trying to conceive

Sorry again - I'll go hide now

Also don't ever use dildos or the like. Sorry - just to clear up.

Don't be , EverySingleStar. If you don't ask, you can't know.

Best of luck.

Maybe get some birth books ? one I had advised me to stretch the perininum using oils- it was that long ago cant remember how to spell it--im not sure if it has any value to do this personally but more reading may help you decide or think about it ....

What Mamazon said!

But it may be helpful to know that labour contractions can have some similarity to period pain and to orgasms (if you are lucky!).

It seemed to me that the way your body reacts in general relates more to the normal female experience in the abdominal area than in the vaginal area.

You would be having really really really bad heterosexual sex if it bore any resemblance to the baby crowning!

I understand you are not interested in finding out the comparison for yourself, but assuming you one day have a vaginal delivery please don't worry about and pity your heterosexual sisters - honestly, it's not like that at all.

Oh now i did attempt perineal massage (not really very easy with a baby in the way) and I didn't have any stitches so you never know.

I can categorically state nothing anywhere near as big as dd had been near me before

Gosh, I've been an out lesbian for 25 years and never heard of 'gold stars' - this thread has been an education for me

Seriously, don't be EverySingleStar - I understand why you asked. I can't see why it would be an issue at all in childbirth. But if vaginal penetration is not a common experience for you, I wonder if you might find the internal examinations that come with maternity care a bit tough. Do you have regular smears? If not, you might consider getting some advice on how to relax through an examination. And certainly, tell the midwife and ask her to take her time and use an appropriate-sized speculum.

Very best of luck with ttc! Becoming mums is the best thing dp and I ever did

To all those who are feeling not 'up-to-date', I've only heard the term gold star used in America. Maybe hasn't caught on here yet? Oooh maybe I can start a trend!

Also loving Laurie's comment by the way. Is there any way of suggesting a 'quote of the week' to MN HQ?