Would you go to a wedding in a country that criminalises homosexuality?

[CalonHapus]

DW and I have a really lovely friend who will hopefully be getting married in the not-too-distant future.

We were chatting about this the other day and she said that, as weddings in the UK are so expensive now, she and her partner might decide to have the wedding in the country that their parents are from (as it would be much cheaper there).

I've since googled the laws in that country, and same-sex sexual activity is illegal and carries a penalty of up to 10 years in prison.

People online are saying that the law is rarely enforced and is unlikely to be used against Western tourists. And that two women sharing a room will be assumed to just be friends.

Which is all well and good, but DW and I have the same surname and our DD can talk now and calls us Mummy and Mami... so I think the 'pretending to be friends' boat may have sailed.

Am I being disproportionately risk-averse to worry about this, or would you be the same in my position?

No

I wouldn't go - not just for safety, but because I wouldn't want to visit a country with those sort of laws.

No

I don’t see how you can

No

I wouldn't want to go, no.

No, I wouldn’t attend in those circumstances. I’d explain, and see if you can get together in the UK at some point to celebrate.

I’ve been to Morocco at the start of mine and my wife’s relationship, had no issues. I’m sure most people don’t. But we were on edge. Would never do it again despite there being some places I’d love to go

No I wouldn’t go. I’d be honest about why too when you decline.

I wouldn’t go, I wouldn’t want to be in a country that held those views and where I potentially didn’t feel safe and couldn’t express who I am without feeling worried. I’m sure your friend will understand OP and if they didn’t, I’d question how good a friend they actually were.

No, maybe I'm just a scaredy cat but words like "rarely" and "unlikely" wouldn't be enough for me to take the risk, especially taking your child with you.

No and I’d explain why

If you said that it was just because you disapproved of the country’s values, I’d say that it’s not the fault of your friends or their parents that their homeland has such a law and you shouldn’t let that stop you going. But in your circumstances, I would NOT go. You can’t just rely on “but they won’t prosecute western tourists”. Look at that poor 18 year old boy who was stuck in prison in Dubai after having an entirely consensual holiday fling with a 17 year old girl.

No, I wouldn’t go.

No I absolutely wouldn’t. I also don’t visit countries that don’t respect women’s rights (for example, arresting women for adultery when they have been raped).

No I wouldn't go. I'd never set foot in a country so backward.

Absolutely not. They may assume you are sisters but you are committing a crime and they could legally lock you up for a decade!

Id just explain to friend why you can’t come. She’s a dick if she doesn’t accept ‘I am afraid of being arrested for my marriage’.

I would not go on holiday there, never mind a wedding. Would make an exception only to visit someone who was terminally ill or to attend a funeral.

No I would not visit a country like that for any reason.

Oh wow, definitely not just me being over-cautious then - thanks everyone.

I will keep my fingers crossed that she and her partner eventually decide to get married in the UK instead.

Imagine your poor child if you were taken into custody there. That would be trauma enough to last a lifetime. It's too big a risk when you have a child.

Not a snowballs chance in hell.
Would not tell the bride in so many words

No way, I would not go and I would tell the bride the reason too. There's no way she could possibly take offence in the circumstances.

Avoiiiiiiiid!

Tbh no, I wouldn't want to be contributing to the economy of a country engaging in human rights abuses like this so I'd be politely declining on those grounds, never mind the personal risk.