Why aren't i pregnant yet?

[PLOPSY]

My partner & i have been trying to have a baby since June 06(me to be bio mummy, she to be non-bio mummy) with the trusty assistance of a lovely gay male friend. Apart from 3 of my cycles, we've tried every time i am supposedly fertile on average, 2-3 times per cycle with a plastic syringe. Sperm is driven over to us immediately & insemination attempted by us at home following advice where we have managed to find it. There is next to no advice handy on how to get pregnant this way! We've read bits of Rachel Pepper's book but there's not a lot else out there. I had fertility test 4 months ago & was told all is fine & am ovulating. My cycles are about 24-25 days long. The donor hasn't had a sperm test but am going to ask him to if i am not pregnant this time - he's already offered to do this. I am 34 years old & have always been active & fit. SO WHY AREN'T I PREGGERS?? Beginning to get to me. Can any other gay girls who are mummies out there please provide me with any top tips on this? I know it's possible as an aquaintence of mine became pregnant 1st time this way.
Many thanks to all.
Plopsy xxx

Do you have a lot of caffeine? When I was having IVF I had no success for months and months and I read about some research into the links between caffeine and lack of conception. The cycle that I gave up coffee was the only cycle that I got pregnant. It was tough though, I really, really missed my morning coffee.

Kew - work is BONKERS.... It's barking, bonkers, crazy mad and I'm possibly going loopy loo with it. And there's no end in sight - aaarrggggghhhhhh.......

Like your new name by the way!

ta very much - do you think it suits me and low calorie too. Thought of you the minute I heard the news that they were backtracking. Presumably will leave a dreadful mess to sort out?

Like you wouldn't believe... I'm exhausted and there we've got at least another 4 months ahead of very long days, 7 days a week. The good old NHS - we love it... (sorry for thread hijack - I'll go away now!)

Ooh, are you NHS too, Dot?
We have SO much in common

Again - thanks to all. What an amazing lot of ladies you all are! I have just ordered a copy of the Toni W book!!
Spesh thanks to very helpful posts. Hester your advice has reassured me. Weaselmum - I have emailed you! Kayjayel - thanks for telling me your info & Dottydot thanks for offers of answering Qs. Thank you all again - invaluable. Bring it on!!
Plops
xx

Hester - yes, I'm NHS - have worked in it for 14 years and am currently in the middle of junior doctor recruitment (MTAS and stuff) hell...

Dot, our work sounds quite similar.

Plopsy, good luck! Really looking forward to hearing good news from you soon.

Hi I know its been a month since the last message but i've only just been introduced to mums net( which i think is fab)
my partner and i were trying for nearly two years with with her becoming the bio mummy and myself non bio mummy.
We originally went through the local hosp donor service but as well as costing us hundreds every month wasn't open on the weekends and closed through the summer for a month which wasn't very useful if you ovulated on the weekend or during that month.
Christmas 2005 i plucked up the courage to ask a friend to help us he was honoured and agreed.it still took til dec 2006 til char fell pregnant.
The two years have been filled with hope followed by despair two weeks later.
We were told to relax all the time which is hard to hear every month.
We bought the clear blue ovulation kit (available form boots). although it cost £100 it was worth it. as well as telling us the most fertile days it also gave us upto 5 additional days of high fertility. It records your hormones from the month before the more. u need to pee on a stick when it asks you to and it tells you when the best time is.
Good luck try to stay positive and relaxed.

Hi soontobe - its so good to hear positive stories when it took a little longer - all you hear otherwise is people saying it happened before they no it, or people with problems who it never happens for. Am on fourth month and trying to be positive and reasonable about giving myself a year before I worry properly. But am hating the regular ups and downs of the month .

How are things with you Plopsy? Any luck yet? Did you get donor to do a test? Hope all well.

Hi Plopsy,

How are you going, any success yet? I have just popped over from the pregnancy after miscarriage thread to see what you ladies were talking about.

I agree with others who say that your friend is best to be there with you to ejaculate and inseminate as soon as possible. But how often are you inseminating? From what I have read the egg is only good for about 12 hours after its release. For that reason its best to have the sperm up there in the fallopian tubes before you ovulate.

After the miscarriage I could no longer detect ovulation, I wasn't getting the tell-tale mucous. Also, I have been in a huge panic because I had fertility test which showed that my egg count was low (I'm 38 and probably going to have an early menopause). In light of all of that I decided that we should have sex every second day for the first half of the cycle starting on the last day of my period. Can your friend come to the party on that one, not the sex but the regular ejaculation/insemination? I'd really recommend it. This has worked much to my amazement. Also, I can assure you that orgasm is not necessary for conception and extreme anxiety is no barrier either, have been suffering anxiety and depression since the miscarriage and subsequnt news of fertility, on AD's and didn't orgasm once!

However I did do the shoulder stand thing for about 20 mins after each time.

Am pregnant now and absolutely worrying myself sick about having another miscarriage.

Best of luck, hope to hear from you in the pregnancy thread soon.