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LGBT children

This board is primarily for parents of LGBTQ+ children to share personal experiences and advice. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful that this is a supportive space.

Advice needed

28 replies

Stirring2 · 05/11/2025 14:46

I hope someone can help, my son has recently come out, I did have my suspicions but I wasn’t completely sure. He is a very studious boy and has just started university. He did spend hours in his room studying and he ended up with 4A*’s , I always worried that he didn’t have any very close friends but he got along with everyone at school he just didn’t meet up at the weekends etc like others seem to. He said he wanted top results and needed to put in the work. He has always been very popular with teachers at school and everyone we know thinks he is almost too mature for his years. He comes across a lovely person when you meet him. He now has friends at university and seems so happy.

He did like to go for long walks on his own , listening to music or a podcast. He would often walk for a couple of hours in the evening. I know that his might sound crazy but I am now worried that he might have been meeting men and putting himself at risk. I am crazy? I will be honest it’s a totally new world for both myself and husband.

OP posts:
Stirring2 · 07/11/2025 13:24

gudetamathelazyegg · 05/11/2025 16:18

OP, can I ask is your family religious or otherwise socially conservative? Your language and concerns about 'the scene' and HIV suggest you need to really do some work internally on how you feel about your son's news. HIV and PrEP awareness and treatment is so, so good these days that actually heterosexual people are more at risk from HIV than gay men. Many gay men are in happy long term partnerships. I'm glad you were openly supportive but this isn't a "hard lifestyle" this is who your son is x

Yes, my family are religious and we are both from am immigrant background. We know what prejudice looks like so I guess an worried that life will be extra tough for my son.

OP posts:
VanCleefArpels · 07/11/2025 18:13

Stirring2 · 07/11/2025 13:24

Yes, my family are religious and we are both from am immigrant background. We know what prejudice looks like so I guess an worried that life will be extra tough for my son.

The vast majority of people really don’t give a fig about who anyone has sex with / marries. This really is the best time to be gay: protection in law against discrimination , social attitudes transformed and the right to equal marriage.

Btowngirl · 12/11/2025 06:47

gudetamathelazyegg · 05/11/2025 16:18

OP, can I ask is your family religious or otherwise socially conservative? Your language and concerns about 'the scene' and HIV suggest you need to really do some work internally on how you feel about your son's news. HIV and PrEP awareness and treatment is so, so good these days that actually heterosexual people are more at risk from HIV than gay men. Many gay men are in happy long term partnerships. I'm glad you were openly supportive but this isn't a "hard lifestyle" this is who your son is x

I came to say this sort of thing too but it’s already been covered. You have some bias I would say, which you could do with addressing before you embark on a conversation with him that might out you as having these bias and upset him.

https://tht.org.uk/news/heterosexual-hiv-diagnoses-overtake-those-gay-men-first-time-decade

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