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LGBT children

This board is primarily for parents of LGBTQ+ children to share personal experiences and advice. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful that this is a supportive space.

Original poster

School Leavers day

31 replies

GaynorGoodwin · 13/05/2016 22:23

Hi, I'm new to this so hope I'm posting correctly...my 16 year old daughter (who is gay) tells me she has no intention of going to the school leavers day as she won't wear a dress (she's always hated them anyway) but I kind of feel that she may miss out on a good day with her friends (who are very much going) so am I right to leave it as its her decision and not really mine? Advice welcome, thanks.

OP posts:
Janefromdowntheroad · 13/05/2016 22:25

Does she have to wear a dress?

PurpleDaisies · 13/05/2016 22:26

Is the dress code compulsory?

MayhemandMadness · 13/05/2016 22:26

Yes she can make her own decision. Ds didnt go to his because of years of bullying around his sexuality. Has never regretted it.

PurpleDaisies · 13/05/2016 22:27

I wouldn't make her go either way. Nothing to be gained if she won't enjoy it.

Original poster
GaynorGoodwin · 13/05/2016 22:28

I actually said the very same thing to her and she said there was zero chance she'd wear a suit as she'd stand out.

OP posts:
Original poster
GaynorGoodwin · 13/05/2016 22:29

I'm not even sure but I know she wouldn't feel right wearing a suit. I just don't want her to miss out but well, it's for her, not me.

OP posts:
VimFuego101 · 13/05/2016 22:30

What is her style generally?

Original poster
GaynorGoodwin · 13/05/2016 22:31

Thanks this has helped. Very few friends know she's gay (actually only two) but I know they'd support her.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 13/05/2016 22:31

What about smart trousers and a top? Or a jump suit? I guess it depends a bit what the school's policy is.

wobblywonderwoman · 13/05/2016 22:32

I would respect her decision. what about a jumpsuit type of outfit if she does decide to go? but I am not sure are they in fashion.. Frump here

Original poster
GaynorGoodwin · 13/05/2016 22:32

She's very much jeans n t- shirt.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 13/05/2016 22:33

By the way, not all girls who don't like dresses are gay. That won't put her if she isn't ready to come out yet. Could she talk to her close friends about how she's feeling and see if they'd be willing to support her?

PurpleDaisies · 13/05/2016 22:33

Out her not put her.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 13/05/2016 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justdontevenfuckingstart · 13/05/2016 22:34

Stop mentioning being gay it is totally irrelevant.

Original poster
GaynorGoodwin · 13/05/2016 22:34

Thanks www (sorry totally new to this and not sure if I've replied to the right people or not, lol). The girls at her school will be very dressed up, long dresses, short dresses, no jump suites unfortunately...lol...shame they're not in fashion...

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 13/05/2016 22:38

Lots of jumpsuits at the wedding I went to a few weekends ago. 384 results if you search on asos.

OddBoots · 13/05/2016 22:41

A lot of stylish young women wear jumpsuits to events. If she doesn't want to go though she is old enough to decide that for herself. Maybe chat about your concerns with her but then step back and just support her choice.

Original poster
GaynorGoodwin · 13/05/2016 22:41

Need scarf...it explains more than if I just say she won't go. I'm hardly making an issue of her sexuality. Besides I'm extremely proud of her and don't intend hiding the fact that's she gay as other readers may have gay daughters or sons and will see the post and may relate.

OP posts:
Original poster
GaynorGoodwin · 13/05/2016 22:44

Just don't.....I will say whatever I wish my lovely. Do have a nice evening :)

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 13/05/2016 22:45

Does your daughter think that by not wearing a dress people will identify her as gay? I can't really see how it's relevant if not.

Original poster
GaynorGoodwin · 13/05/2016 22:45

Purple..I wouldn't be able to make a 16 year old go now would I really? Be sensible now.

OP posts:
VegasIsBest · 13/05/2016 22:46

I'm sorry if I'm missing the point here, but why does being gay mean she can't go to the school leavers' day and enjoy herself? It's one of those right of passage days that everyone should get to enjoy. If it's a decent size school she won't be the only gay kid and she certainly won't be the only kid who feels they don't conform to expectations. Can you encourage her just to go along, relax and enjoy herself?

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 13/05/2016 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
GaynorGoodwin · 13/05/2016 22:47

Purple.. Your getting your knickers twisted now.

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