Ex-partner wants house bought with inheritance despite my name on deeds

[Guffy]

My partner and I were together for 10 years. I loved her dearly and believe we had a strong relationship. About 5 years in she came into a sum of money after her father sadly died and she decided to buy a house with the money so we could set up home together. She decided to put my name on the deeds effectively giving me half the house. I cautioned her at the time that it was a big step and a generous gift but she said she loved me and it was our home. A year or so ago, after 6 months of lying and deceiving me, she left me for a local man. I now live in the house on my own but she is indicating that the house belongs to her because she ‘paid for it with my dad’s money’. Where do I stand legally please?

It would be nice to hear back from the OP

Or he has been scared off

Or...........

TBF there's literally nothing saying OP is a man everyone's just assuming

@Guffylegally you are in a very strong position. And I don’t agree with other posters that “morally” it is her house - you even cautioned her against it at the time and she reiterated it was a shared home (“our home”). She doesn’t get to re write that now than she’s left you for someone else

You need to speak to a property solicitor before agreeing to anything or moving out. The starting point is you are an owner if you’re on the deeds, it doesn’t matter if she paid for it or if was paid for with inheritance

You might be able to get hold of the TR1 form on the land registry or via a lawyer (definitely speak to one in any case) but that might answer this rather quickly. She will have ticked a box on that saying if you jointly own it or not

Good luck. I’m sorry you haven’t received many supportive comments. And also that you were deceived and she’s now trying to take your home from you

NotMajorTom
You’ll get very different answer than if you were a woman doing this…

I normally say this but here I don’t think so, they’re only together ten years and she bought it from inheritance- he would have lived somewhere else for at least twenty years- it’s not the same as eg a woman in her 30s who is living in the only home outside of her birth home she’s ever known and the fact that he warned her but now is saying ‘it’s half mine’- unless he paid her rent those 5 years which is say he should get back - I think he should walk away and move back to the life he had before

Would all the posts saying “morally it’s hers” be saying it if the genders were reversed? I think it’s 50/50, you were in a long term relationship and she’s the one who cheated on you.

You could speak to a solicitor about a Tolata claim, if you have bank statements, etc, to prove you have contributed.

If you've been making at least a 50% contribution to bills and home maintenance I think you're right to stay there. If it was you doing the cheating or leaving I'd think the right thing to do would be walk away with nothing. However, if you've been equal partners for the last 5 years you don't deserve to have your future security pulled from you because she decided she wanted someone else. I'd ask her to buy you out or at least negotiate a lump sum that can get you set up elsewhere, until then stay put.

Yup

I think when they put your name on the deeds, it was like they gifted you part of the house. You’ve lived your life since with the assumption that this is your life plan and you have had this security. I don’t think they should take this all away.
are you listed as joint tenants or tenants in common?

We don't know that the OP is a man.

For some reason, I thought it was a woman posting. I know the OP referred to their ex going into a relationship with a man, but I try to avoid making assumptions on threads.

Most people don’t understand the “morals”. They are personal and subjective not a shared societal value.

Have you paid towards a mortgage or repairs on the property? If so then asking for repayment of this would be appropriate at a minimum

Seek legal advice as you are not married so it's not a matrimonial home, it's a jointly owned assets You are a co owner. If you and your ex partner are beneficial joint owners in undivided shares, and the shares are to be divided now, the starting point is 50:50. That said if you haven't contributed any part of the purchase price, nor any financial costs on the property such as improvement or upkeep or DiY work , a court might decide 90:10 is fairer in her favour. You should try to negotiate a settlement figure. If she has other assets you might be able to argue an increased share but I doubt you'd get more than 50%, if that, in a court of law.

Are you 100% sure you are actually on the deeds ?

I think you need to do whatever you would have done if you hadn't shacked up with this lady and her inherited wealth. Presumably you were able to provide yourself with housing before you met her?

It’s half yours in the eyes if the law, morales don’t come into it. She can take you to court to try and get more but technically it’s half yours.

So you're saying you've been living there free all this time?
Cheating aside, have you ever paid anything toward this house, maintenance, utilities?

Of course the house is hers!! You didn’t not put the money in to it; it was her inheritance.

The law doesn't work like that. The house is owned 50/50 and a court would accept that fact provided the deed documents are in order and record that fact correctly.

This was a voluntary transfer/gift. OP could choose to gift 50% back but is not obliged to.

If the house is in joint names, as OP has stated, then it's very simple. He owns 50% of the house. I don't know why some posters are so cross about that.

what a gold digger the op is. Men.

She went into this with her eyes open knowing the consequences, you've now lived their for years and have an interest.

Legally and morally there should be a split so you can have a safe and secure place to live too.

This is a complex area of law. One person buying it doesn’t mean an asset is solely theirs. Both names are on the deeds so there was an intent that the property was to be a shared asset. The question of maintenance is also in the mix. So they do need to see a solicitor. I’m assuming no written co habiting agreement was made but the deeds show what they thought about the property at the time.

Legally, it's 50:50 like the deed says. Personally, i wouldn't feel right taking money that was left to her. Her dad didn't work his whole life for you to benefit. However, if you paid for stuff in the house and maintenance, you shouldn't walk away with nothing either. I would give her back whatever she invested into the house but split any additional equity.

although I think he has a right to a portion of the property as presumably he will have contributed financially in other ways, I think there is a difference in terms of how I see it for men and women.

With women I’d say take what is rightfully yours and don’t worry about original financial contribution because 9 times out of 10 she has cooked, cleaned, looked after kids, held the mental load etc which has allowed her husband to work without much effort at home.

I think men are now benefitting from the way it’s been set up and are further draining women’s resources without putting in much effort.

My ex will get half of everything including my pension. He worked but chose projects he liked and felt passionate about so he brought in very little. He had that freedom to choose be I provided for us financially.

He did almost half the childcare (he clothed, fed and minded and took to play groups/school run), cooking and some of the washing up but I held the mental load. I knew when the meetings at school where, changed the clothes for DC when outgrown, dentist and drs appointments, birthdays, presents - all of the tasks that come along with having a family). On days he was doing the school run and was the parent at home, the care provided by him would leave me with more loads more tidying and cleaning. Once I went away with work for three days and DCs teeth didn’t get cleaned once. Almost every job he did I had to finish.

So although in the eyes of the world and the court, we were fairly equal partners, our socialisation as man and woman, meant that I was working and being the main financial provider and doing the lions share of domestic and child care labour.

So I do think it is different for women. But unfortunately the law could never unpick contribution so it doesn’t count for anything. It’s 50/50 split as a starting point.