Vexatious Ex. Letter before action trying to force house sale.

[OakAshSycamore]

Hi there,
My ex has instructed a solicitor who has sent a letter before action forcing sale of my house.

Background, we were together for 4 years although we never lived together or shared bank accounts. He was a considerably higher earner in comparison to me, director of a business, think high 6 figure salary, dividends, shares, very generous benefits package. I am a single mother with a disabled child, working part time and caring, as such I fall within the low income bracket.

He was very very generous with his money, insisting on paying for things and never mentioning repayment throughout our relationship. I often felt uncomfortable and pressured by this dynamic like he had the power in the relationship because I had few resources. He would say things like, by investing in you I am investing in our future. I bought a house with my divorce settlement and he offered to cover the shortfall via a financial gift, all legally drawn up with the solicitor and mortgage company.

I now see that his behaviour was what is termed as love bombing or 'white night' behaviour designed to keep me dependent to him while he wielded financial control over me. Lots of red flags became apparent at the latter part of our time together there was a lot of harassment, aggression and manipulation. I finally saw the light and ended things after a very scary incident which frightened myself and my children and I could see we were unsafe with him. He took my ending the relationship very badly and there was months of abusive messages and threats. Lots of look at what I have done for you, given you etc, I am subsidising your lifestyle type thing.

Fast forward to now, I have received a threatening letter from his solicitor forcing sale of my property (which is in my sole name) on the following basis.

Our Client also contributed a substantial amount to the purchase price. This
money was not provided by way of a gift to you but was paid on the understanding that our Client would have an interest in the property.
Our Client therefore has two potential claims under TLATA, namely through a resulting trust
(contribution to purchase price), constructive trust (intention) and can also ask the Court to
assess his rights under proprietary estoppel as he has relied on promises that the property
would be held jointly and he has acted to his detriment (in providing the lump sum and monies

I have copies of the legal gift letter that was issued by the mortgage company and witnessed by the solicitor. I am so confused by this, the financial gift for the property forms 75% of his financial claim against me. He must have omitted telling his solicitor this surely?

What is my best approach in response to this. I don't have any savings, I know that his calling card is to manipulate and intimidate.

Missed that bit!

I'd deny that claim too. To get that, he needs to prove either that there was a shared understanding (whether verbal or implied by conduct) that he would get a stake in the property, or that OP led him to believe that he would get an interest in the house. If there is any paperwork setting out that this money was a gift and that he was not getting any stake in the property, that is useful evidence which should be included. If there is no paperwork, I would simply deny the claim and state that it was always made clear to him that his gifts would not give him any interest in the house. If OP can say so truthfully, I would also say that she felt pressured into taking the gifts and that she neither requested them nor wanted them.

What exactly did the £11k for the divorce cover? Unless there is paperwork setting out that this was a loan, I very much doubt that he can claim this.

'or that OP led him to believe that he would get an interest in the house' I told him I didn't want to share my house with him or anyone other than my children.

He was obsessed with removing a legal charge removed that my ex husband had placed on my previous property, he was very letigious and wouldnt let this matter drop, came in with the big guns and got it removed.

"Sharing a house" is ambiguous. One meaning is that you can share a house by living in it together, and a different meaning is that you can share a house by each owning part of it regardless of who lives there.

@prh47bridge means to make it clear that you didn't intend for him to share the ownership with you, regardless of whether you wanted him to move in with you.

In hindsight I can see its was a frying pan into the fire situation, I was probably a bit vulnerable post divorce and was like a rabbit in the headlights when I met my ex.

I wasn't going to share it in anyway with him, he knew that otherwise we would have bought it together and been tennants in common.

I think that is a very powerful argument as your joint intentions. I wonder what @prh47bridge thinks.

I don't see that this gives him a claim unless he wants to argue that this was a loan, not a gift. If he does, it will be up to him to prove it was a loan. And repeatedly telling him that you didn't want to share your house with him should cover any argument that he expected to get an interest in the property by paying for renovations.

Sounds good to me!

This is poor advice, sorry.

If you simply deny without providing the evidence that allows him to continue to pursue you, potentially with a court claim which will cost you money to engage with even if it ultimately goes nowhere.

Solicitors will happily take his money to send this initial letter regardless but it's very likely he's not given them the full information regarding the nature of the gift.

He may still try to pursue, but the solicitor ought to be advising him against it once they know about it.

@threedeafmice & @prh47bridge I will be able to sleep tonight thanks to you both.

I'm glad you got some good advice in the end, and am happy to have contributed to that by my being the person wrong on the internet today.

Get advice from a Solicitor experienced in these matters as soon as possible. Your home insurance should cover you, but you could get advice for free. Do not reply until you have had legal advice from a Solicitor.

I'd photocopy (several) copies of the gift letter, storing the original and copies in different places safely and return one to his solicitor with a note attached 'R.E: Nobhead's name... please see gift letter attached. I trust this closes the matter.
Regards'

Perhaps seek your own legal advice to be certain and cover yourself but it sounds like he is being a massive muppet.

Edited to add Read the other replies and would ignore my first bit and definitely seek immediate legal advice. (I would still make copies of the gift letter though while you wait!)

Does this offer you made to return funds relate to the £11k? Did you do this in writing? What exactly did you say? I wonder whether out of context it looks like you agreeing to repay a loan?

Do you have emails/texts from when he gave you the £11k to confirm it was a gift?

give your lawyer a call and ask them how much it would be to respond on your behalf. You’ve had some great advice but sometimes having a hand hold isn’t a bad thing.

Not read all the posts and realise you’ve had strong advice to not send the gift letter but I would urge you to do so, along with a short factual note stating you deny the claims and why.

There is nothing to be gained by not sending a defence (I don’t accept the solicitor knows that your ex is full of hot air - whilst it’s possible it’s more than likely they don’t have the full story) and if this gets to Court you risk looking like your were playing silly buggers by withholding the letter.

Most judges likely won’t care, but a grumpy judge on a Friday afternoon could be irritated enough to feel you are partly responsible for the matter being in court and require you to pay towards costs. Uncommon in these sorts of cases but possible.

Don't take legal advice from mumsnet on this. Contact a solicitor. We were gifted a deposit for a house and my dad signed the letter. He can't claim anything on that but you need help about the other finances and for a legal professional to respond to try put an end to it and for it not to progress further.

He has gifters remorse… tough tits.

send the gift letter and be done with this. NAL, but I don’t think he’s got a prayer.

have you run this past AI? I use copilot for a lot of things and find it pretty helpful to gauge an idea of what’s likely

@OakAshSycamore , call your home insurance free legal helpline (don't activate a legal claim yet, just call the free one). You will be advised by a solicitor (not random mumsnetters) about how to progress.

You have had conflicting advice here about sending the gift document or not. So you need reliable advice from a solicitor to guide you.

You can put a land registry alert on your house so that you are alerted if he tries to put a charge on it. Also might be worth going on their site to double check nothing has been added.

Given this man's history of fixation and vindictiveness, in your shoes I'd be logging all this with the police who may well see it as a continuation of harassment.

Forwarding the evidence to the solicitor - the letter you received from the ex, that he intended the money to be a gift - is doing the solicitor’s work for the solicitor. It probably fast forwards the process by getting to the heart of the issue much more quickly, thereby saving your ex money in legal costs.

How to deal with this - how you wish to proceed - is up to you. Would forwarding the letter amount to giving your opposition an advantage (the relevant info, for free and quickly)? or a disadvantage (he’s screwed)?? I don’t know, but a solicitor probably would.

No, it is not doing the solicitor's work for them. There is no way OP's ex's solicitor will find out about this if she doesn't tell him. And the courts take a very dim view of people trying to gain an advantage in litigation by withholding evidence in pre-action correspondence.

I’d argue there is every way the ex’s solicitor will learn of the existence of the letter, if this ends up being what the threatened legal action rests on.

My point really, was does the OP want to waste the time of her ex and his solicitor (and money), by withholding this ace card, or play it immediately.