Vexatious Ex. Letter before action trying to force house sale.

[OakAshSycamore]

Hi there,
My ex has instructed a solicitor who has sent a letter before action forcing sale of my house.

Background, we were together for 4 years although we never lived together or shared bank accounts. He was a considerably higher earner in comparison to me, director of a business, think high 6 figure salary, dividends, shares, very generous benefits package. I am a single mother with a disabled child, working part time and caring, as such I fall within the low income bracket.

He was very very generous with his money, insisting on paying for things and never mentioning repayment throughout our relationship. I often felt uncomfortable and pressured by this dynamic like he had the power in the relationship because I had few resources. He would say things like, by investing in you I am investing in our future. I bought a house with my divorce settlement and he offered to cover the shortfall via a financial gift, all legally drawn up with the solicitor and mortgage company.

I now see that his behaviour was what is termed as love bombing or 'white night' behaviour designed to keep me dependent to him while he wielded financial control over me. Lots of red flags became apparent at the latter part of our time together there was a lot of harassment, aggression and manipulation. I finally saw the light and ended things after a very scary incident which frightened myself and my children and I could see we were unsafe with him. He took my ending the relationship very badly and there was months of abusive messages and threats. Lots of look at what I have done for you, given you etc, I am subsidising your lifestyle type thing.

Fast forward to now, I have received a threatening letter from his solicitor forcing sale of my property (which is in my sole name) on the following basis.

Our Client also contributed a substantial amount to the purchase price. This
money was not provided by way of a gift to you but was paid on the understanding that our Client would have an interest in the property.
Our Client therefore has two potential claims under TLATA, namely through a resulting trust
(contribution to purchase price), constructive trust (intention) and can also ask the Court to
assess his rights under proprietary estoppel as he has relied on promises that the property
would be held jointly and he has acted to his detriment (in providing the lump sum and monies

I have copies of the legal gift letter that was issued by the mortgage company and witnessed by the solicitor. I am so confused by this, the financial gift for the property forms 75% of his financial claim against me. He must have omitted telling his solicitor this surely?

What is my best approach in response to this. I don't have any savings, I know that his calling card is to manipulate and intimidate.

Really appreciate everyone's advice, its definitely been a balm to the panic that his communication triggers. I have clarity that I can respond succinctly with a single line and a copy of the legal gift. I will leave that response for a bit, but obviously before the deadline.

You need to see a solicitor quickly. And present all to them. Including the gift letter you have.
He is using legislation that applies to unmarried people who split up and have assets that need splitting up between them. And saying the money to you was not a gift and that he expected to have an interest in the property.
The paperwork you have will be needed to assess whether that can be refuted or not.
Get to as solicitor. Preferably one that specialises in divorce. Look up the law society and you can see in your area one who is accredited in divorce.
Good luck.

Do not send a copy of anything.

Agreed.

I have 25k of family legal protection as part of my house insurance, is this what you mean?

The mortgage company would not accept a loan as part of the deposit. It's a gift. End of.

Can you just confirm there are four sources of the money for the house:

• divorce settlement
• mortgage
• evidenced gift from this man
• another £20k

We weren't married and this isn't a shared asset.

Respond with a single sentence, but do not send a copy of the legal gift.

No, it was bought divorce settlement and a small (Proportionate to house value) legal gift provided by ex.

Alas you're not being clear. You've mentioned at times a divorce settlement, a mortgage (or at least a mortgage company), an evidenced gift, and an additional "residual" sum.

I asked How much is the residual sum? And this is the amount for which he wrote a letter confirming it's a gift?

And you said: its around 20k, he's claiming this plus the amount that was legally gifted for the house purchase as one lump sum.

So the 20k is in addition to the amount that was legally gifted for the house purchase?

Can you try to explain more clearly? Is there a mortgage on the property? What was the role of the mortgage company you spoke about earlier, if not?

My bad!! Sorry my brain is a little tired! Yes it was a small mortgage roughly same as the gift (it was the maximum I could borrow).

So a divorce settlement, and small mortgage and legal gift.

Yes he's claiming around 20k on top of the legal gift for divorce and house renovations.

Ok. So what I understand is that all the money that he provided was given to you as gift and he wrote a letter confirming this. There is no additional amount that he gave beyond what he wrote in the gift letter.

Did he ever live in the house with you?

@OakAshSycamoreDon't send the gift letter. A pp gave the perfect reasons why. Just all claims denied.

No, it the gift (which is the greatest proportion) plus roughly 20k of extras.
No we never lived together.

As I said - not a lawyer.

I don't think he can claim anything for the amount of the gift. He wrote a letter saying it was a gift.

He may be able to claim something for paying for renovations to the house. This goes back to proprietary estoppel. For that to apply he would have had to pay for the work because you made him (reasonably) to believe that you were promising to give him a share in the property in the future. Your conduct to make him believe that doesn't have to be much, but it has to be something. It can be a verbal assurance or even a gesture, but he would have to make a court believe than when he paid for the renovation he was doing so because he understood you had made that promise to him. Him saying "I'm investing in our future" doesn't count. It's what you said that counts.

The underlying basis is fairness: the court will ask "would it be fair for him to have paid for the renovation believing that it was going to be at least in part his house in the future and have that denied later." If the court thinks that, at that time, he was simply splashing the cash around as gifts, then his claim should be denied.

I don't think he can claim anything for helping you with divorce fees and expenses, or living expenses. My spidey sense says that is simply too remote to count: the argument that "I paid for her divorce because I thought I'd get a share in her house" doesn't make a lot of sense. But as I said - not a lawyer.

Either way - don't help him do his work. Don't send any documents.

And - when you've decided what to do, ask mumsnet to delete this thread.

Good luck.

DO NOT listen to @ThreeDeafMice. Contrary to what she says, the extract of the solicitor's letter you posted is NOT legal nonsense and the solicitor does not believe it is all hot air. If OP's ex's contribution to the purchase price was not a gift, their solicitor has set out the position correctly. I would therefore assume that he has told his solicitor it was not a gift and, absent any other evidence, his solicitor has accepted this.

It is always strongly recommended that you should provide evidence when responding to a letter before action in order to protect your position. Doing so shows the court that you are acting reasonably. The correct approach in response to a letter before action is to:

• State whether you accept or deny the claim - in this case you should deny the claim
• Outline which parts of the claim you disagree with - in this case you should be clear that the money was a gift and that there was never an understanding that he would have any interest in the property
• Provide enough documentary evidence to support your version of events - in this case, a copy of the legal letter showing it was a gift will be enough
• State what you are willing to offer to settle the matter - in this case you should not offer anything

On receiving this, I would expect his solicitor to advise him that he doesn't have a case and that he will be wasting his money if he proceeds. That won't necessarily stop him from taking this to court, but it may.

If this gets to court the judge can draw negative inferences about your case if you have withheld evidence during pre-action correspondence. Even if you win, the judge may decide you should pay part of your ex's legal costs. In this case I think it is unlikely you would be ordered to pay any of his costs, but why take the risk.

Although they don't say, @prh47bridge is a solicitor, so worth listening to.

He is saying it was. And that is the basis of his argument. The letter you have may refute that. But I would advise a covering letter from a solicitor to another may assist. Nothing worse than trying to take on a legal professional yourself without another in your corner. Despite what others say. A solicitor will run legal rings around you. You need one to run on your behalf.

@prh47bridge

What about the claim for a constructive trust or proprietary estoppel based on the circa. £20k the ex paid for house renovations (for which there is no letter confirming a gift or otherwise)

What should the op say about that in her response?

This is really clear, I will respond to this effect, stating the points you have highlighted with a copy of the legal gift letter. Thanks @prh47bridge.

It was more like 11k on the divorce and the rest things for the house. I told him on multiple occasions we wouldn't be living together. He was looking for property to buy for himself during and after I purchased mine.

I'm going to cut to the chase and agree with other posters. He is harassing you.
No repayment is required as it's very clearly a gift. This is intimidation and I'm surprised a solicitor wrote that letter. Speak to the police because he sounds power crazy.
Fwiw if he gives a gift and then tries to say it was a loan it would be a form of fraud.

Ha! Great advise, I was thinking of just asking my solicitor who helped me buy the house and put together the legal gift letter to ping it over with a short and sweet rebuttle.

If he had lived with you in the house that would make things more complicated; but it's more about if he genuinely thought he was investing in the house by paying for renovations, or whether that was also intended as a gift.