Partner ended 24-year relationship, what am I entitled to if unmarried?

[LouiseCH]

I have been having a really rough time, I have been waiting for a diagnosis/surgery for more than 2 years, feeling rough and exhausted everyday led to depression.
Completely out of the blue my partner of 24 years broke off our relationship 2 montgs ago leaving me devastated 💔
We have 2 children aged 21 and 16, our daughter (16) is currently sitting her GCSEs after they have finished all of the difficult stuff is to come.
He earns significantly more than me and I keep reading conflicting advice on what I would be entitled to going forward. The difference comes from being unmarried, ideally would like to avoid solicitors for lots of reasons.
I guess I'm wondering if anyone has been in this sort of situation??

Hi OP, you might want to have this thread moved to Legal because that’s the advice that you need. This sounds really distressing and I’m really sorry that you’re going through it. But being unmarried does make a massive difference.

Anything you own, so things you purchased for example if you purchased a vehicle. He owns anything he himself has purchased.

I hope when you have your surgery your health improves.

Could you add what the housing situation is?

I think all he would be legally liable for is CMS until your DD turns 18 so long as he is the father on the birth certificate
Of course, if you have joint accounts, or are joint owners of the house half is yours on any account.
Whatever is in only his name is 100% his, and only in your name is 100% yours.

I would see if Citizens Advice can help. At the very least they’d help you form a budget and gauge what benefits you’d be eligible for based on your income and the CMS.
(I’m not an expert, these are just my thoughts)

Child maintenance if you aren’t 50/50

Anything you purchased yourself.

Half of any equity in the property assuming equal ownership of a purchased property.

That’s about it. You don’t get the legal protection of marriage if you don’t get married.

Anything that is in your name remains yours, anything in his belongs to him.

He is liable for child maintenance for the youngest.

You are entitled to nothing except CMS for the youngest child. That's the harsh reality if you aren't married.

Who owns the house?

Edited to clarify you keep what you own outright.

CMS for your youngest child until they are 18.

Any share of the house that’s in your name.

Half of anything in any joint accounts.

The CMS will only be if the youngest spends less than 50% of the time with him though

CMS for the youngest and anything that's in your name, you can keep.

Otherwise, nothing.

I'm sorry op, you have no rights to anything he owns and he's under no obligation to give you anything.

Is he reasonable? Morally if you gave up your job or worked less to raise his DC you should get something - but not legally.

Do you own any of the house? If not will he let you stay in if until DC have left? Will you be able to support yourself?

We have a mortgage together, he is suggesting to buy me out . I wouldn't be able to afford a mortgage on my own and would have to use my quity to pay rent

What age are you op? I had a parent go into sheltered accomodation with the council for over 55s.

Thank you, how do I move it to Legal ?

Report your OP by clicking on the three dots in the top corner. Use the report to request the thread to be moved.

Can you increase your hours, OP? You will need to focus on maximising your income. Difficult if you are feeling rough I know.

Not at the moment, but a job move is something I am going to have to do once I am physically better

Will the children want to come with you OP or will they stay in the house with him if he's suggesting buying you out? If he does buy you out, at least you are going to be OK financially in the short term, and then hopefully once your health improves and you can work longer hours, you can use what's left as a deposit.

Look into possibly shared housing as you can get help with the rent element from UC if needed and your equity might be enough to buy your share outright and then if your on a low wage / on UC for I’ll health you can get the rent part of the house paid

You should get the house valued by an independent valuer.

Sorry OP if you're not married I don't think you're legally entitled to anything... If you own the house 50/50 you'll get that at least. If he doesn't realise you're not entitled to much not being married, maybe you can get him to agree to give you something towards the kids costs. But I think their ages mean you won't be entitled to maintenance (someone correct me if I'm wrong).

You would possibly be able to apply to the court to keep the house in trust until your youngest turns 18 if she is going to continue residing with you and then you will probably have to sell the house to split the equity.
Could you use the equity to buy a shared ownership house if not possibility of getting a large enough mortgage to buy a smaller place with the equity?

Entitled to maintenance until the youngest leaves full time non advanced education up to a maximum age of 20

If he wants to buy you out use that as a bargaining chip to get a good deal. Argue that if the house goes to sale he will have extra costs associated with selling and buying somewhere else and argue for that to be added to the amount he gives you to ‘buy you out’. After all, you are going to have costs of moving out.

If you have put more work into child rearing / gone part time due to this, you could argue for financial recompense due to this. You have no legal case, but if he is decent he may accept this argument. And again, you can use the fact he wants you out as a bargaining chip to argue for financial recompense.

Your main bargaining chip is to save him the hassle of having to sell and buy so use that to drive a good deal for yourself. I would not at all accept just half of the equity in the house. The only good thing about not being married is that he can’t, as far as I am aware, go to a court to force a sale, like you could in a divorce. It’s your home too and he can’t force you out. So if he wants you out, make sure he pays you well for it.

So sorry this has happened. It sucks.