Partner ended 24-year relationship, what am I entitled to if unmarried?

[LouiseCH]

I have been having a really rough time, I have been waiting for a diagnosis/surgery for more than 2 years, feeling rough and exhausted everyday led to depression.
Completely out of the blue my partner of 24 years broke off our relationship 2 montgs ago leaving me devastated 💔
We have 2 children aged 21 and 16, our daughter (16) is currently sitting her GCSEs after they have finished all of the difficult stuff is to come.
He earns significantly more than me and I keep reading conflicting advice on what I would be entitled to going forward. The difference comes from being unmarried, ideally would like to avoid solicitors for lots of reasons.
I guess I'm wondering if anyone has been in this sort of situation??

Sounds very sensible as if just have the equity sitting there then will not get UC until it runs out but are allowed to tie it up into buying a house

Only if they live with OP. They may not want to move. This happened to a friend with similar aged children. She couldn’t buy the Ex out of the house, so she was the one who moved out. The kids chose to stay in their family home. Which is understandable from their perspective.

To be fair, as you own your house 50:50 it’s likely that your outcome would’ve looked similar if you were married. Being housed in a rental is adequate for housing needs.

you will have to work more when you can. I’m sorry for your run of bad luck x

Are you able to buy him out? Have you enquired? Seen a mortgage broker? What about a shared ownership property.

@LouiseCH because you are unmarried, despite the length of your relationship, your financial situation is, sadly, somewhat risky.

Get the house valued independently from STBX. Unless you had anything drawn up when you purchased it, you should be entitled to half the equity.

If you don’t have any other joint assets then that’s your lot as far as you’re concerned.

You can look at the child maintenance calculator to input your contact details and STBX earnings if you’re housing youngest for more overnights than STBX.

If he wants 50/50, and youngest agrees, you may not get any maintenance.

You need to focus on your health and getting back to FT work asap. Good luck.

Not true at all. She’d have had a claim on his pension, savings and other assets or investments. She says she is the much lower earner so she’s the one who would have stood to benefit from splitting the marital assets.

As you are not married, the basic rule is that your possessions are yours and his possessions are his. As you have a mortgage together, you are entitled to 50% of the equity in the property unless it is owned as tenants in common and there is a Deed of Trust giving you a different percentage. As there are children, you may have a claim to stay in the house until they are grown up but you would need to consult a solicitor if you want to pursue that.

You are not entitled to anything from his pension or other assets. The fact you are the lower earner will not make any difference.

Of course, this is the legal position. He may be willing to give you more than your entitlement, but you cannot insist on that.

Yes, apologies fair point. If he has pensions or
other assets OP would’ve been entitled to a share.

Yes indeed then she may find herself having to pay maintenance 😞 plus try and find and fund suitable housing for herself and youngest when does stay over, all with no entitlement to any benefits as she is not the resident parent, is the nightmare scenario but have seen it happen a few times to the parents who had built their whole life to fit in around the children

If the house is jointly owned, you would be entitled to half of it (unless you have a different split under a deed of trust or agreed to share it differently to 50/50).
You’d get CMS until your youngest is 20 or leaves education, whichever is earlier, if she lives with you.

Sorry but he absolutely can apply to court for the property to be sold and it will be (unless you can persuade the court you need to stay, which is unlikely). So yes he can force you out and if you don’t agree to sale and the court orders it anyway, you’d also be liable for his legal costs.
You can try to ask him for more than half but if he gets legal advice, he will be told that he wouldn’t be required to give this to you. You have very little bargaining power here really.

Id refuse the buying out scenario unless he makes it very financially attractive. Why should you have all the costs of moving, stamp duty if you try to buy something, rental deposits, new furniture etc and he sits pretty.

Also delaying the whole thing as long as possible may be better for you while your health recovers - that depends on how toxic an environment it is. I think dragging feet will suit you best, and that must be your mindset now - what suits you. You are no longer a unit, he is acting in his best interest, you must follow suit. Focus on your health and getting better, and tell him that, you need to recover before you are able manage this. Dont be bullied, grey rock him, be non committal, dont be rushed, dont be pushed. And if starts being nasty, threatening courts etc let him. That can take years, and will be at his expense.

Once it does happen, it would be better if you can reinvest that equity in a smaller place, a flat even if it means a bit of a squash when both kids are there. They are close to flying the coop so make your plans for that day, rather than the current situation. Take your time to select a location that makes working easier and life cheaper if you can.

“Why should you have all the costs of moving, stamp duty if you try to buy something, rental deposits, new furniture etc and he sits pretty.”

She’s moving out whether she is bought out or not as she can’t afford the house on her own.

The two choices are to be bought out and to move, or to sell the house and to move.