Updating my will with no next of kin or beneficiaries

[Searchingforananswer2023]

Hello, I find myself estranged from family, with no NOK and I need to update my will as my beneficiary has died.

I have a house which in a few years will be paid for
Contents of the house
Money in bank account/ISA etc

I have no children. A relative is due a small amount of money from the sale of the house which I plan to give them in cash before it is sold/I die.

I do not want my brother or his child to be a beneficiary (never met child and my brother is abusive)

I want to be clear on funeral arrangements and I wish for my ashes to go back to Ireland to be interred with my mother.

What should I do? How do I proceed without a NOK? How do I ensure brother/nephew do not inherit? How do I get my ashes to Ireland?

Any advice is welcome before I make an appointment with a solicitor.

Charity?

Charity gift and plan and pay for your funeral arrangements and ashes now

My great aunt wanted to have everything tied up neatly, so she had her solicitor named as NOK, instructions for her funeral, and the solicitors acted as executors to sell her house etc after her death. So you just need to decide where any money left over once the solicitors have been paid and costs settled should go, and give them the details of what you want done with your ashes (I assume after a direct cremation) and they will be able to guide you through the process

IANAL, but until one comes a long and having recently done my will… you absolutely must do a will stating your wishes. If you die without one, it sounds like your estate will default to your brother (not knowing who the other relative mentioned is).

You need to decide where you want the proceed to go. Charity, local schools, scouts, RNLI, there are countless options so pick any that you feel a connection with.

Leave it to a dozen small charities that mean something to you. Lots of charities would love to have a bit of extra cash.

Or me.

You can name a solicitor as executor, and then state your beneficiary to be a charity (or choose a few if you’d like!) or even close friends etc. you can also state your funeral wishes in the Will itself too. If you appoint a solicitor as executor they’re likely to try as hard as possible to then execute those wishes. Things like sending your ashes to Ireland would just be an estate cost, provided you have enough to fund this it wouldn’t be unreasonable or unrealistic

Try and spend as much as you can while alive and die with zero (funeral plan prepaid).

then charity.

you need a will.

Absolutely make a will, pay for your funeral and document wishes .
In addition write a letter witnessed by your solicitor clearly stating you intentionally did not include your brother or his child in your will .
This prevents a claim on your estate

Similar scenario to me. No next of kin. Deffo not leaving it to siblings. My plan is to leave it to the church. I will need to look into it too.

I know I am going to leave it to the church, they have been a lifeline to me during my recent bereavement and they don't even know it. All churches are registered charities so it will be fine.
What are you doing about a NOK? I am well now but I am worried about getting older and at present I am too ashamed in my current situation to confide about family estrangement.

I plan to use a funeral plan/scheme and do this in advance so whoever has to carry out my wishes does not have any financial burden.

Care costs will probably diminish my estate but to be honest I'd be happy to go at 70, after that I'd just be hanging around for nothing with no family etc. Sad but true

How old are you?

I am 40 so havent yet looked into it properly and my patents still alive. I speak to them.

Next of kin could be anyone....a friend, neighbour, or a priest you trust.

Sorry to hear you're going through this. Its more common than you think.

'Next Of Kin' is not a thing, legally, in the UK. Where are you?

You can leave what you want to who you want, in your will. Unless you're married, or have children, or have been supporting someone, or have made promises, you can do what you want and it can't be contested.

I am not a lawyer, but have read around on this subject a bit.

You need a Will and LPAs for both Property & Finances and Health & Welfare.

As pp say you can set out your funeral wishes in your will or as separate instructions attached to your will. Personally I am currently drafting my own funeral service.

I would appoint a solicitor to be your executor.

WRT LPAs you can be very specific about what you want I.e. what medical interventions you do and do not want. How you want your money managed etc.

You starting point should be a STEP solicitor.

As a trainee solicitor I once sat in with a partner taking instructions for a new will. He went through the usual cascade of beneficiaries with the client: parents, children, siblings, charity for any residual estate if all were dead first… until the client eventually shouted “if they’re all dead I don’t care who gets it! Just make sure my brother doesn’t get a penny.” Partner calmly noted down the instructions and made reassuring confirming noises.

Nearly 18 years later I still wonder sometimes what the brother had done.

During the same period I also helped administer the estate of an old lady who had died with no family and no beneficiaries. She had left a very clear will (everything to a charity) and letter of wishes (explaining pre-paid funeral arrangements, and all went exactly as per her instructions. That’s what you must do.

I find that very sad. I'm 66 and really do have no family at all, other than a few cousins and while I get on with them we aren't close, and I would be horrified to think I might go at 70. Life is precious and I'm nowhere near ready to let go of it and I certainly don't think I am hanging around for nothing.

I'm 40

The more I look into it I can see how common it is becoming. You are lucky to have both your parents. I have no one

I know NOK is just a name on paper but if I was hospitalised in the morning I have no one to tell, bring me a change of clothes etc

Yes a solicitor with be the executor and I will look into LPA as mine is now obsolete due to bereavement

I understand that to you this may be sad but I've got another 30 years until 70 and look at the state of the world. I have no family through no fault of my own and this is the situation I find myself in. I am glad you feel happy to carry on.

do you have a close friend who could be your next of kin and executor of your will and have poa for you should you need it later in life.

I put my estranged family member down as NOK with the understanding they’d only be called if things were fatal or they urgently needed to know some family medical history. However, realistically if I were hospitalised and awake I’d text my neighbour who has my spare key to bring clothes.

I get it though, I was abroad a year ago and ended up hospitalised during my trip. I was there alone. I previously had some friends in that country but they had all gone back to their respective countries as it was around Christmas. I ended up being admitted to hospital for one week the day before I was going to fly home. I didn’t feel like putting it on any of my friends, so I just told the one family member that I still spoke to at the time.

He acted as if I’d told him I’d got a cold and basically said “get better soon”

He gave no emotional support or any offer of flying out to see me or calling the hospital to check on me - despite the fact things could’ve went left. I would’ve told him no it’s fine but it’s the fact he didn’t even ask?

I was absolutely aghast and found it quite chilling . I’ve alway suspected he quietly resents and dislikes me despite always wanting to keep tabs on me and to chat on a regular basis. But this confirmed me.

And he’s a doctor btw so he knew the severity of what I had. I was also in a country where English wasn’t the spoken language and my family member happened to speak that language fluently unlike me . He could have been of so much help but chose not to be. Thankfully I was treated well there despite not having any family checking on me.

I no longer speak to him either now since I know even in a life or death situation he really doesn’t care.

I don’t know much about wills but sounds like the advice you’ve got here makes sense. I’ll probably leave it to one of my best friends I met at uni, whose whole family have been very kind to me my whole adult life.