International divorce - children relocation

[appleandcarrot]

I am currently going through a divorce with my British husband, and we have two British children together. I am not a British citizen and currently hold a spouse visa, but I plan to apply for a family visa as the parent of British children. My soon-to-be ex-husband is living abroad with his girlfriend.
He initiated the divorce and has made a financial offer that I believe is significantly inadequate. My solicitor is currently reviewing and responding to this.
If he continues to make unreasonable offers and fails to meet our legal and financial needs, I would like to understand my options. Specifically, would I be able to relocate to my home country with my children, given that they hold dual nationality?
Can the UK family court require me to remain in the UK with the children, even though their father is living overseas and not providing sufficient financial support? To be honest, I’m not very familiar with family law in the UK, particularly when it comes to what level of financial maintenance I should reasonably expect for myself and my children. However, based on what I’ve seen so far, the offer seems very low compared to his income, and my solicitor has also indicated that I am likely to fall short financially.
My concern is that living in London is extremely expensive, and I’m struggling to understand why I should remain here without my husband, especially as I’m not originally from the UK. I also don’t feel comfortable relocating to a cheaper area within the UK, as I don’t have a support network here. Ideally, I would prefer to return to my home country where I have family support.
In these circumstances, I would like to understand under what conditions the family court might refuse permission for me to relocate with my children. I am worried about staying in the UK, exhausting my savings, and potentially facing financial hardship, particularly as my husband has already moved on and is living abroad with his new partner.
Could you also advise on the proper legal process I would need to follow if I wanted to pursue relocation?

AI is your friend here for advice. In short, as you both have parental responsibility i believe your dh needs to give permission and if he doesnt you need a Court Order - which will determine if a move is in the best interest for your dc - they may well say it is. If you move without either of these it's effectively abduction.

Why is your solicitor not advising on this? I cannot express strongly enough how important it is to get legal advice.

Generally in the U.K., the courts are supposed to prioritise the welfare of the children. Given that the father is living abroad and that you are looking after the children full time, it seems highly unlikely to me that you would be forced to remain in the U.K.

In such a case the children’s welfare is best served by remaining with their mother / full time parent. Do you think it possible that the father will litigate to oppose your move or seek custody abroad? What has he said regarding seeing his children? If he’a not interested, the state certainly won’t intervene unless there’s some reason to think the children are at risk.

AI is certainly not ‘your friend’. It’s as likely to be correct on technical legal matters as the random person next to you in a bus - or on
mumsnet. Speak to your solicitor.

You must speak to a family solicitor. However my experience is you can’t move a child away from a parent. But he’s done it by himself already!!!

I do have a solicitor helping me with the financial side, but not with child arrangements at the moment. My concern is that my STBX and his solicitor seem to be trying to keep the settlement quite low.

If it ends up being a level where I genuinely can’t support myself and the children, then realistically I’d have to think about going back to my home country. It’s not something I want, but I also don’t think it’s reasonable for us to be left struggling financially.

I get the feeling he wouldn’t be keen on that idea either, as things might not work as much in his favour if I were based back in my home country.

That said, I don’t think it would be likely for the children to live with him instead. He’s currently living in the Middle East with his new partner, and given the situation there, I imagine a UK court would be quite cautious about that kind of arrangement.

How close are you from being able to gain British citizenship? Personally I’d be reluctant to leave without it, given that you have British children.

I would essentially have to start from scratch, as I’d need to apply for a family visa again. From what I understand, that means the clock resets for ILR, and I’d be looking at another five years from the point I’m granted a parent visa under the current rules.

I’m honestly not happy about this at all, but this is the situation I’ve been put in. Since he’s chosen to approach things this way, I think he also needs to recognise the impact and consequences it has on me.

You really need to get proper immigration advice from a specialist lawyer - it is very complex and getting it wrong can cost £1000s and add years. Your divorce lawyer should also give advice on the children.
Finances and arrangements for the children are all interlinked. I would also want something enforceable that the children do not visit him in the ME, he sees them in the UK or somewhere else where The Hague convention is enforceable or he might just not return them.
But if he isn’t resident in the UK (or planning to be ) then I would suspect the courts wouldn’t stop you returning to your home country if deemed safe to do so (the difference between France -safe or Liberia - pretty unsafe).

You have the right to reside here as your children are British citizens and you are their sole carer, although its possible you may not have recourse to public funds. I suggest you take some immigration advice urgently and feed that advice in writing to your family solicitor.

Re the arrangements for the children - no family court would have the authority to keep you in the UK, but they do have the authority to refuse permission for the children to leave the UK, particularly as they are British citizens.

I think you need a very open conversation with your solicitor who should be explaining this to you. And then another one with your husband about what resources he intends to enable to look after his children.

I will add it is also significant what country you want to take the children to and you have failed to give that information.

I don’t think my family visa application would be refused, but it’s very expensive, and I’d have to go through the process twice before I can get ILR.

What I’m struggling to understand is how a family court could realistically expect the children to remain in the UK if their primary carer is unable to stay or doesn’t feel it’s sustainable to do so. My home country is a safe and well-developed place, so there aren’t any welfare or safety concerns there.

The court will usually side with a parent who applies for their children to remain in the country of habitual residence, BUT that is when the applicant parent also resides in that country. In your situation, you should seek agreement from the father to relocate first. If he declines then you apply to court for a specific issue order. He will have to respond from the country where he lives. He won't be able to attend court in person and the likelihood of him being able to prevent your relocation is pretty low, since he doesn't live here either.

What I’m struggling to understand is how a family court could realistically expect the children to remain in the UK if their primary carer is unable to stay or doesn’t feel it’s sustainable to do so. My home country is a safe and well-developed place, so there aren’t any welfare or safety concerns there.

But, and I don't mean this unkindly, your reasons for not being able to live in a cheaper part of the U.K. seem very weak. You can't realistically say that you are unable to move elsewhere or that it's unsustainable to do so.

Is your STBXH intending to move back to the UK or stay abroad? And why don't you seek legal advice from your solicitor if you have one?

Yo mention maintenance for yourself and your children. Are you expecting spousal maintenance? Do you work?

How old are your children? Will they want to relocate to another country?

It’s not easy for anyone to relocate, and as a foreigner it’s been especially challenging. Living abroad with a different language and culture has been difficult, and to be honest, I’m quite exhausted by it.

I would try to find a more affordable area where the children can still stay in their current schools, but even that is proving to be expensive. The level of support he’s offering is simply too low to make that workable.

I do work and I enjoy my job, but it’s minimum wage. My options are quite limited for a number of reasons — I’m a single mum with young children, I don’t have state support or family support, and I receive very minimal help from the children’s dad.

The settlement and maintenance haven’t been finalised yet, and I will push for a fair outcome. However, if the court doesn’t grant something reasonable, I honestly don’t feel I can continue staying here.

Given that he doesn’t live in the UK and is based abroad with a new partner, I don’t really see why a family court would be likely to side with him in these circumstances.

They’re 9 and 6, and I don’t think they’d want to leave because they really love it here. It’s a lovely area and I’m very happy here too, but if I simply can’t afford to stay, there’s not much I can do about it.

Tell your ex that he either ups his offer to X or you'll need to take the children back to your home country. Your ex has left the country, a court cannot make you stay and is hardly going to think it's best for the children to be abandoned.

To add - in your position I would be very wary of staying in the UK unless you can (and do) gain citizenship. Last thing you want in a few years is legal changes that push you out and place the children with daddy dearest (assuming he's then back).

It is possible for me to gain ILR and British citizenship if I can stay in UK according to current immigration laws. I don't think their dad will come back to UK and I will do my best to prevent my children to live in Middle east. I will take my children to my country if I can't live here for any reasons.

He has parental responsibility for your children, notwithstanding the fact that he is living abroad. You would therefore be committing a criminal offence if you took your children out of the country unless you have his consent to do so or, failing that, a court order. It is unlikely you would be prosecuted if you ignored this, but he may be able to get your children returned to the UK.

The courts will not stop you from leaving the country. The question is whether you will be allowed to take your children with you. You need to talk to a lawyer rather than taking advice from internet randoms.

I'm not saying I will take my children against UK law. But I'm sure under circumstances it will be granted and wondering if in my situation. Talk to lawyer is easy but very expensive and I don't have money for that at the moment.

What’s your home country. Is it Europe? In the UK it used to be you’d have to be in country for 6 months to qualify for a British divorce.

What assets do you share?

There could be a strong possibility that as soon as you apply to take your children out of the country, their father will return. Your plans could then be scuppered. on the other hand, whilst he is living abroad it could be very difficult for him to be forced to pay you any child maintenance. You’re clearly in a very vulnerable position and need proper legal advice.

I understand that money is an issue for you, but I wouldn't trust the advice you get on here. People who think they know the law often give incorrect advice on Mumsnet and sometimes try to shout down genuine lawyers. And a lawyer would want a lot more information about your situation before advising on the likely outcome. The one thing that can be said for certain is that you will not have any problems if your STBXH agrees to you taking your children to your home country. If he is opposed to the move he may be able to stop you, but no-one can say how likely he is to succeed based on the information you have posted here.