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Legal matters

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Can I lose my house?

81 replies

Domingofromltoakley · 26/03/2026 21:13

My DH is currently trying to get a financial order with his ex, I know he should have done it years ago, but she's always made life so difficult it's taken years to get this far. He's had to go to court twice already to get her to engage at all, she has form for this as she refused to engage with divorce or return papers etc and cost a fortune to eventually divorce.
Anyway he is now at the second lot of mediation, he's paying for his, she's on legal aid, he's returned his form E which shows he has nothing of value but a 10 year old car no savings really and we're living in my DG house which she kindly let us use when she moved in with my parents until she dies and its sold for the beneficiaries.
I own a house, well its got a large mortgage and a massive loan attached to my parents they lent me money in order to buy it. It's in my name only as I lived there before I met DP, he has never contributed to the mortgage or upkeep that has always come out of my personal account, and now the mediator wants it valued. Surely this isn't a marital asset of theirs that he has to share? Mediator hasn't even asked for the equity(little to none) just the value. Why do I have to get it valued when their FO has nothing to do with me?

OP posts:
Elizabeta · 26/03/2026 22:18

Are you sure she’s on legal aid? That’s only available if the relationship was abusive (and there’s a high bar of proof needed). If that’s the case, I can entirely see why she’s being uncooperative.

But mediation isn’t usually tried when there has been abuse, so I assume that someone is putting it about that she’s on legal aid to unkindly limit the sympathy she gets.

BringBackCatsEyes · 26/03/2026 23:31

Elizabeta · 26/03/2026 22:18

Are you sure she’s on legal aid? That’s only available if the relationship was abusive (and there’s a high bar of proof needed). If that’s the case, I can entirely see why she’s being uncooperative.

But mediation isn’t usually tried when there has been abuse, so I assume that someone is putting it about that she’s on legal aid to unkindly limit the sympathy she gets.

You can legal aid to help with mediation, which I think is the stage OP's DH and his ex are at. It's income-based I believe.

RoseField1 · 27/03/2026 05:58

BringBackCatsEyes · 26/03/2026 23:31

You can legal aid to help with mediation, which I think is the stage OP's DH and his ex are at. It's income-based I believe.

Only where there is domestic abuse and it has to be evidenced and recent. It seems unlikely if the marriage has been over for decades.

Ljzjta · 27/03/2026 06:06

Technically his half share of your house (before you are married) is an asset of his, regardless of whether you owned previously. They could put charge on your house that he has to give her x amount when you sell etc. do they share children? If they do not; it’s unlikely but if they do, then maybe. Your house is an asset of his! Why on earth did you marry a man before he financially settled his ex wife? Absolutely bonkers and completely irresponsible for both of you.

TheCheeseTax · 27/03/2026 06:15

Oh OP. The rule is not to marry until he's finalised the finances.

See a solicitor - at least your parent's' funds are ring fenced with a legal charge.

Good luck.

LadyVioletBridgerton · 27/03/2026 06:22

wishfulthinking25 · 26/03/2026 21:16

I have no professional input to add however, my SIL was due to get remarried and she cancelled it last minute as they sought legal advice and due to not having a financial order in place was told that if she got married then her exH could come after everything her (would’ve been) new DH owned too. Again, I’m not sure if this is true or not but it’s what she told me.

I believe this is true although the court has to take into account things like length of marriage (SiL and her ex that is), how long ago it was, would it cause her hardship now. I didn’t even know about FOs when I got divorced so didn’t get one for 10 years. We were in the process of saving up for a house but decided not to buy until the order was granted for this exact reason. If you read up about Dale Vince (energy boss), you’ll see exactly why a FO is so important.

Snoken · 27/03/2026 06:47

I think it’s different in Scotland for example but if you are in England your house is now a marital asset, even if you bought it prior to marriage. Marriage is a legal financial union and unfortunately your DH now has that with two women at the same time.

There has been threads on here previously where the exw has been able to claim some of the assets the h has with his new w. There are lots of variables though so you will just have to supply what they ask for and hope for the best. It’s crazy though that this guy lives for free, has no savings, no pension, nothing. What a catch.

Another2Cats · 27/03/2026 07:03

What some seem to have missed is that the OP and her DH are living in the grandmother's house:

"...we're living in my DG house which she kindly let us use when she moved in with my parents until she dies and its sold for the beneficiaries."

In terms of the "family home" then that is the main residence of the couple, which in this case is grandmother's house.

If this house were owned by the OP instead of granny then it would definitely be a marital asset.

However, the house that OP owns is a different one. Depending on issues such as whether OP and her DH ever lived together in that other house it may not be a marital asset

"...and now the mediator wants it valued"

It might be worthwhile pushing back on this request and asking why they want it valued. What is the purpose for doing this?

An answer to that question should give you more information as to what is behind this request.

[EDIT]

Also, just check as to exactly which house the mediator is asking the value of.

Snoken · 27/03/2026 07:15

@Another2Cats if they are in England it's still a marital asset, even if they don't and haven't lived in it. The same way a holiday home or a boat would be. It doesn't mean though that half of it is automatically considered his, that's where it becomes more tricky and length of marriage, who paid what etc. comes into play. Ideally, OP should get seperate legal advice as this gets quite tricky when he has financial ties with both of his wives.

BringBackCatsEyes · 27/03/2026 08:37

RoseField1 · 27/03/2026 05:58

Only where there is domestic abuse and it has to be evidenced and recent. It seems unlikely if the marriage has been over for decades.

I don't think this is the case. I've done some Googling and don't see where it says there has to be domestic abuse.
Low income can entitle people to legal aid.

JohnofWessex · 27/03/2026 14:46

This highlights a number of issues

The most obvious one being 'why is one party allowed to obstruct divorce/financial settlement proceedings?'

Surely what is needed is a timetable

Proceedings are started

Respondent then has x amount of time to reply

They clearly need to be able to request more IF they can justify

But if they dont respond then on it merrily goes

Catcatcatcatcat · 27/03/2026 14:51

Who on earth did you marry him before this was resolved? Crazy.

ThatLemonBee · 27/03/2026 18:46

If the house was in your name then they can’t touch it . You need to write to them asap

Noisafullsentance · 27/03/2026 19:02

It doesn’t mean your house is being treated as a marital asset, so try not to panic.

In financial remedy cases they look at the overall financial position of each person, including their living situation. Because your partner lives with you, the mediator is likely just trying to understand his housing circumstances rather than suggesting your property is up for division.

From what you’ve said, the house is in your sole name, you bought it before the relationship, and he hasn’t contributed financially. That would usually make it non-matrimonial, so it wouldn’t be something his ex could claim a share of.

However, it can still be taken into account in a different way. For example, his ex might argue that his housing needs are already being met because he’s living with a partner who owns a property. That doesn’t give her any rights over your home, but it can sometimes affect what he might receive in a settlement.

The fact they’ve only asked for a value (and not equity) suggests it’s more about understanding the situation than trying to include it as an asset.

He just needs to be clear that the property is entirely yours, he has no legal or beneficial interest in it, and there’s little or no equity anyway, especially with the loan attached.

You’re not a party to the case, and the court can’t make orders against your property. This is more about context than entitlement.

Sassylovesbooks · 27/03/2026 19:02

I would recommend that you seek independent legal advice, for your own piece of mind.

Itsmetheflamingo · 27/03/2026 19:09

BringBackCatsEyes · 26/03/2026 23:31

You can legal aid to help with mediation, which I think is the stage OP's DH and his ex are at. It's income-based I believe.

That’s not really legal aid though is it? (Question!) I know low earners can get mediation fees paid but that isn’t a legal process and you don’t need a solicitor for it.

and yes, if it’s legal aid it’s due to domestic abuse against her by your husband

OP whilst it’s technically a martial asset I imagine it’s highly, highly unlikely a judge would award her half of any of it.

mental to get married without a financial offer

WTAFIsWrongWithPeople · 27/03/2026 19:12

BringBackCatsEyes · 26/03/2026 21:56

This is what AI has to say about the matter:
I can see why this feels frustrating — especially when you’ve kept everything clearly separate. The short answer is: your house is very unlikely to be treated as a marital asset to be shared, but it can still be relevant information in his financial disclosure, which is why the mediator has asked for a valuation.
Let me break it down in plain terms 👇
🧾 Why they’re asking about your house
In a UK financial order, both parties must give a full financial picture — not just what they own, but also:

  • Where they live
  • Their outgoings
  • Their financial support or arrangements
  • Any assets they might have access to (even indirectly)
So even though:
  • The house is in your name only
  • You bought it before the relationship
  • He has never contributed financially
👉 It can still be considered part of his “financial circumstances”, not his assets. That’s an important distinction. ⚖️ Is your house a “marital asset”? Based on what you’ve said, it’s very unlikely:
  • Pre-owned before the relationship ✅
  • Sole name ownership ✅
  • No financial contribution from him ✅
  • You’ve kept finances separate ✅
➡️ In UK family law, that normally means it’s non-matrimonial property, and his ex would have no claim over it. 🤔 So why does the mediator want a valuation? This is usually about context, not division. For example:
  1. Living situation
They want to understand:
  • Does he have secure housing?
  • Is he effectively being supported by you?
  1. Ability to rehouse
If his ex is making claims (e.g. for money or housing needs), they’ll look at:
  • Whether he needs money to house himself
  • Or whether he’s already accommodated (e.g. living with a partner)
  1. Transparency
Courts are very strict on full disclosure. Even irrelevant things often get listed just to avoid future disputes. 🚫 What they cannot do (based on your facts) They generally cannot:
  • Force you to sell your house
  • Treat it as his asset to divide
  • Award part of it to his ex
Unless there were very unusual circumstances (like deliberate financial mixing or hiding assets), which doesn’t sound like your situation at all. ⚠️ One small thing to be aware of Even though she can’t claim your house, the court can take into account that:
  • He has housing provided via you
  • Therefore, his financial needs may be considered lower
That could affect:
  • Whether she gets more (if she claims need)
  • Or whether he gets less
But that’s about needs assessment, not ownership. ✅ What you can do
  • Provide a basic valuation (even an estate agent estimate is often enough)
  • Make sure it’s clearly stated:
  • It’s solely yours
  • Bought before the relationship
  • He has no beneficial interest
  • If needed, he can add a short statement clarifying this in his Form E
💬 Bottom line
  • You’re not being dragged into the divorce financially
  • Your house isn’t “up for grabs”
  • This is about disclosure and context, not division

You realise OP could have asked the giant text prediction machine if she had wanted to? Maybe she knows it fucks up constantly.

gardenflowergirl · 27/03/2026 19:13

You made the mistake of marrying a man that hadn't completed the financial order from the divorce with his ex wife. So, as you are married you and your husband are legally one as regards finances, so now all your assets will be considered as part of the financial order with his ex. As you're married you and your husband legally own all your assets irrespective of who's name is on and who paid. You're going to end up sharing your assets with his ex. Big mistake getting married before the financial order.

Itsmetheflamingo · 27/03/2026 19:14

gardenflowergirl · 27/03/2026 19:13

You made the mistake of marrying a man that hadn't completed the financial order from the divorce with his ex wife. So, as you are married you and your husband are legally one as regards finances, so now all your assets will be considered as part of the financial order with his ex. As you're married you and your husband legally own all your assets irrespective of who's name is on and who paid. You're going to end up sharing your assets with his ex. Big mistake getting married before the financial order.

You can’t possibly say she’s going to end up sharing assets with the ex.

she’s going to have unnecessary legal hassle and expense, for sure, but asset sharing is fairy unlikely

horsesaanddogs · 27/03/2026 19:15

Divorce him quick

Teddingtonforsale · 27/03/2026 19:25

I am also in the position when I married someone who hadn’t secured a FO as part of his divorce. It happens. However, luckily the exW also remarried which means she can no longer claim from my DH, her exH. When both parties re-marry, it terminates any financial dependency.

We also got a letter of wishes drawn up for DH as part of his Will (we got one Will each). The letter sets out the reasons she is not included in his Will, so in the event of his death before mine, if she comes looking for money, the letter will be presented to the court as part of the justification.

Rosebud987 · 27/03/2026 19:57

I’m a family solicitor. If his ex has legal aid then she has some proof of domestic abuse. If she’s proof of domestic abuse then she is mediation exempt. So none of this makes any sense…

changeme4this · 27/03/2026 23:33

Definitely seek advice. DH also went through a very long winded property settlement process and his former partner had my income details subpoenaed from my employer and council records of the property I owned. He only stayed with me at weekends and rented elsewhere.

It was thrown out at the court stage, but she attempted to say it should be included in their assets register.

Bowies · 28/03/2026 00:02

It’s required because you are married, it still counts as a shared asset.

Elanol · 28/03/2026 07:24

changeme4this · 27/03/2026 23:33

Definitely seek advice. DH also went through a very long winded property settlement process and his former partner had my income details subpoenaed from my employer and council records of the property I owned. He only stayed with me at weekends and rented elsewhere.

It was thrown out at the court stage, but she attempted to say it should be included in their assets register.

That's shocking. Delving into your personal business because you saw your boyfriend at weekends.

Years ago a friend of mine insisted on seeing evidence of her new boyfriend's divorce before the relationship developed too far. She wasn't convinced things were fully settled for some reason. I thought she was being a bit over the top but reading this thread maybe she wasn't.