Court Orders with older children

[timetofight]

My kids are 15 and 13 and I have a court order against me from their paternal grandparents (their son died). My question is can they get more access outside this order if the children agree or are we all held by the terms of the order? They’ve set up an email group with them and are communicating with them without me being privy to it. My kids are currently being showered by expensive gifts by them; money I don’t have as everything I earn is used on daily living. They won’t say no to the grandmother if she asks for anything as she is extremely controlling and always gets what she wants. Her own husband and grown children would never say anything to her.

What are my rights here? It seems I am tied to this order but they are not.

Thanks.

You didn’t answer the question as to whether the court order prohibits phone calls outside the express provision for one a month

I'm sure it doesn’t but I know that their request for me to be flexible was removed from the original order because they kept changing the dates.

Despite them being retired.

Are you a solicitor?

Yes

The thing is, “flexibility” isn’t really relevant once children are old enough to manage phone calls without a parent aiding them. A 7 year old can’t speak on the phone to a non-resident parent/grandparents unless mum or dad uses their phone to facilitate the call. When kids have their own phones, they can manage calls.

If you wanted to actually prohibit any calls outside the one a month, you’d have to go back to court and ask for that. I can’t see any judge ordering that unless there was evidence of harm to the children as a result of the calls. That is a high bar for you to get over.

I’m not going back to court. I’m going to ride it out but I wanted to clarify some things. However trying to manage the existing zoom calls with a 15 year old who has a girlfriend and social life and a 13 year old who doesn’t want to do them is challenging. Especially as they tell me things but are too scared to communicate their needs to their grandparents. It was a point I made in court but they didn’t think it was important. They told Cafcass everything and then had to continue seeing them so it’s understandable.

In another year, if they don’t want to have visits or do the calls, their views will be taken into account.

Their views will be taken into account now if this goes to court. Given their ages, there is a good chance their views will be decisive. When the older child is 16, the CAO will no longer apply to him unless the order specifically says otherwise. He will be able to determine the level of contact he has with his paternal grandparents for himself.

I think the OP said that the existing order was only made a year ago, so in her shoes I would wait a bit longer before trying again

@prh47bridge Always helpful. Thank you.

I made sure I found out at court and they said he would no longer have to follow it at 16. We are coming to the end of a very long journey.

She said after it was made in 2018. She can definitely safely disregard the order if the kids don't want to have contact.