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Legal matters

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Can my ex stop me from moving?

49 replies

vdolly · 09/10/2025 11:56

My ex and I always had the plan to move away with our young son, around 3 and half hours away, staying within England. We have since fallen out (because the pub is more important to him than his family) and I don’t know if we will be able to come back from it. I would still like to stick to the plan, but could he stop me from moving with our son?

OP posts:
ComfortFoodCafe · 09/10/2025 12:18

He can but only if you havent moved by the time he gets his solictor to action it.

SparklyGlitterballs · 09/10/2025 12:21

Think of the practicalities too. How will you share care of your child? If you're the one who has moved away I believe he can demand you are the one who has to facilitate drop offs/pick ups (I'm sure someone will enlighten me if I'm wrong on that one).

vivainsomnia · 09/10/2025 13:58

Yes. He could take you to court and request that your child doesn't move that far away. How old is the child.

vdolly · 09/10/2025 14:36

He’s 8 months old

OP posts:
Absentosaur · 09/10/2025 14:39

The child needs his dad too. I know you don’t (and I’m sure, understandably so), but it’s only about the child you’ve both brought into the world now. Moving away would fracture their bond even more.

SixtiesHermit · 09/10/2025 14:41

He can certainly take you to court to get reasonable contact with his child, and the bar is set very high to prevent him from having none at all. I think he could seek to make you do some if not all of the travelling to enable contact to take place. You are angry with your ex, but that doesn't mean you have the right to prevent your child from having a meaningful relationship with their father.

PinkFrogss · 09/10/2025 14:43

How do you envision contact working?

vdolly · 09/10/2025 15:05

I’m not asking for your opinion on whether I should move or not, that is not up for discussion. I have simply asked if he can stop me. If you don’t have actual information that is useful then please don’t comment

OP posts:
Absentosaur · 09/10/2025 15:06

Ok. Yes he can. He will , and he should.

titchy · 09/10/2025 15:07

He can’t stop YOU no. He can stop your child. Not sure why you’re getting arsey. People are just saying what a judge would expect an answer to.

Arlanymor · 09/10/2025 15:10

He can make an application to the court to stop the child moving. And any good dad would.

vdolly · 09/10/2025 15:13

Well you are not the judge and have no idea of my situation.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 09/10/2025 15:14

vdolly · 09/10/2025 15:13

Well you are not the judge and have no idea of my situation.

I'm not judging you, I am saying what a good dad would do. One who wanted to have proper contact with his child. It's objectively true.

Goldfsh · 09/10/2025 15:14

OP, calm down, people are trying to explain that yes he can, and why he should.

Jellybunny56 · 09/10/2025 15:15

The short answer is that yes he can.

The reality is that even if you did manage it, he can then argue you’re responsible for all drop offs & pick ups as you’re the one who chose to put so much distance between you. Can you really facilitate 3.5 hours each way every week etc for contact?

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 09/10/2025 15:21

vdolly · 09/10/2025 14:36

He’s 8 months old

Are you still planning to move when he's 3? The ex hopefully will have an established routine of contact by then so he'll probably try and stop you via the courts, which I believe he can.

markopolo2002 · 09/10/2025 15:31

vdolly · 09/10/2025 15:05

I’m not asking for your opinion on whether I should move or not, that is not up for discussion. I have simply asked if he can stop me. If you don’t have actual information that is useful then please don’t comment

That's exactly the type of attitude that is about to open up a whole world of pain for you and your child. Firstly, a court would take a considerably dim view of your intention to move without any form of reconciliation, and would likely make an immediate order that you both enter into some form of mediation.

If you, him or both of you refuse or mediation breaks down, the court will continue to suggest you make an effort for the sake of the child. The mediators will also report back to the court so unless you have a very open attitude about such things you could find yourself on the receiving end of a lot of negative attention from a court. Of course, the same would go for your partner as well.

If your partner is as bad as you say, you'll need evidence and any mediator should see this also, if, for example he fails to attend or gives off a "can't care less" attitude. Even then, the court would likely still try and force mediation but it will only get to a certain point before the court would likely see through either your, or his intentions.

On the other flip, if you move away, the court will consider where you are moving from/to. Are you moving away from a support network of family/friends. Are you moving towards a support network of family/friends. Is it work related or simply a "desire". If you've simply had enough of him and want to get as far away as possible with no real grounding, then you're potentially in for a long road. The fact you're asking if he can stop you says to me he's likely either vindictive or not as bad as you claim, in other words, why would he want to stop you?. If it's the former, the court will see through it, if it's the latter then the court will expect you to be responsible for the sake of the child.

If your partner is named as the father on the birth certificate of the child, he automatically has parental rights which cannot be taken away without good reason and only with the order of a court which is a considerably difficult thing to do.

If you are serious about moving without having first taken serious legal advice or considered ALL options between you and your partner, that essentially amounts to abduction which is a criminal offence. If you move, and your partner doesn't make any attempt to locate you, a certain period of time would have to elapse before your partner would find it difficult to do anything about it, unless he can prove he has made attempts to find you. If he has made attempts to find you, and eventually you are found, this could even lead to a court order in his favour to take custody of the child as the court would consider your actions to be highly inappropriate and irresponsible.

If you believe there is any hope of the relationship working, find a mediation service, they are often free, start there. DO NOT just up and leave.

Starlight1984 · 09/10/2025 15:34

vdolly · 09/10/2025 15:13

Well you are not the judge and have no idea of my situation.

😂

Parky04 · 09/10/2025 15:35

vdolly · 09/10/2025 15:05

I’m not asking for your opinion on whether I should move or not, that is not up for discussion. I have simply asked if he can stop me. If you don’t have actual information that is useful then please don’t comment

I can see why he preferred the pub.

Starlight1984 · 09/10/2025 15:39

Parky04 · 09/10/2025 15:35

I can see why he preferred the pub.

Me too. This thread is making me want to go to the pub 😆

lunar1 · 09/10/2025 15:40

Yes he can stop you.

lunar1 · 09/10/2025 15:40

Actually he can’t stop you moving, he can stop his child going with you.

dancingcs · 09/10/2025 15:43

You might not like him, but your child deserves to have a meaningful relationship with his father. Moving that far away, how would you expect that to happen? Should you be dropping and picking up your child from his father’s every weekend? As that is what the judge will ask of you. As you are the one who moved.

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 09/10/2025 15:46

I’ll go one further.

He can’t stop you moving, but he can prevent the child moving, so if you still wanted to move you could relinquish residency to him, or the court might award it.

I know someone who this happened to. She was looking to move to be with her fiance so they could get married. When she told her ex he didn’t go to court to file for a prohibited steps order, he filed for residency instead and was given it on the basis he had a new wife and also half siblings to the child, so the judge ordered that it was in the interests of the child’s relationship with their siblings as well as their father that they stay with him.

So I would think very carefully about how you think he might act if you do decide to move. Because he might not stop at stopping you from taking the child, he might decide that the child would be better off with him, and a judge might agree.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/10/2025 15:52

He can argue to stop it if he already knows and if it will impact on his time with son
jf you’re the main caregiver and moving gives you and baby a better life then judge would allow
if you just move without telling it’s be hard for him to argue that baby should be returned to him and be separated from you

if dad doesn’t bother much with baby I would just move now

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