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Original poster

How to get someone out of your property who refuses to go

126 replies

despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 07:22

My son (in his 30s) has drink and drug issues and makes bad decisions.

At the end of May, he let a "friend" into his flat and now this person refuses to leave. My son is now working abroad. We were alerted to the situation by an anonymous letter from someone in the street who was concerned about the situation (the person in the house has been to prison and has other criminals over) and also had concerns that our son was intimidated into letting him in. The person occupying does not pay rent (although he has loaned my son a significant amount of money) and done some work on the property. We have paid him for this work on the basis of invoices he has submitted and photos of the work. We have agreed to pay him the money he loaned to our son and part paid him this. He refuses to leave. We have served him (through a solicitor) with a notice to quit but he is still there. Our solicitor is now going to try and get a court order to remove him. The person occupying says he will fight the application as he has a two year old daughter who stays with him some nights and we can't make him homeless. This all started about 8 weeks ago so he has had plenty of time to find somewhere else to live. Solicitor says it will take 3 months to get him out using the legal process. He says he will go if we pay him the full amount of the money our son borrowed, but we don't want to do that until he has moved out. Stalemate! In the meantime, he has had a skip delivered to the flat's parking bay (person is a builder) and this is breaching one of the covenants of the flat as it is only to be used for parking. We think a breach could end up with our son being taken to court by the management company.

We are so upset about the whole thing it would be really good to hear outsiders' objective views of what to do about this and get him out. Is there a way we can safely pay him the money and ensure he moves out? He is a really bad person so we can't trust him.

Sorry for the long read!

PS As soon as he is out, son will sell the flat and son has agreed to repay us the loan and legal costs from sale proceeds.

OP posts:
Squishydishy · 11/09/2025 20:20

despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 09:19

I would imagine he has already changed the locks so that we can't get in. He's a builder so easy for him to do.

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Well I would check rather than guessing. Go over one day when he’s out and try your key in the door. Then you will know for sure either way and can go from there

Shoemadlady · 11/09/2025 20:21

I’d want for him to leave, go in with a locksmith and simply change the locks. Once you’re in give him the money.

Original poster
despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 20:21

Lolapusht · 11/09/2025 13:57

OP, back to basics.

What has your solicitor applied for?

The legal remedy available will depend on the legal status of CFL (Cheeky Fucker Lodger). He’s not a tenant, he’s not a lodger & he’s not a squatter. All three of those have specific remedies for regaining possession of your property.

NTQs usually refer to tenants so they wouldn’t apply here as CFL is not a tenant.

In order for him to be a lodger, your son would have to live in the property with him (lodgers share communal areas but have their own bedroom). If your son is temporarily away then it could be argued he is still living there.

He’s not a squatter as your DS gave him permission to live there.

I’d have a look at what puts someone in each category. Approach it like a 1st year law student. What makes someone a tenant? Who is a squatter? Then work out what CFL is and that will help you find a solution. You may be able to apply for an Order for Possession (depending on what the CFL actually is) yourselves by applying online to the court. Your legal fees may get quite high as this guys doesn’t care what sternly worded letters say. He’s been to prison. He has zero f*cks to give.

This is one of those situations where the legal remedy open to you may be completely useless. It’s all well and good having a legal right to kick someone out, but how are you going to physically do that, especially when they’re violent, abusive a-holes. How much does your son owe him? I’d take a view on that as it may be cheaper to pay him the money (50% prior to him moving, 50% once he’s gone?). He’s got the opportunity to cause substantial damage to the property if he wanted to, so how much are you willing to spend on replacing kitchens, patching up holes in walls, replacing trashed floors etc?

Edited

Thanks for your input. Solicitor is startinv possession proceedings on the basis thst he is a licencee that has been given reasonable notice to quit.

OP posts:
Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 11/09/2025 20:25

This person has literally NO legal right to occupy thus property, and no defence in court. Just change the locks!

ClaredeBear · 11/09/2025 20:25

You have received advice from the solicitor and stepping outside of this might land you in hot water. You could try the police but it sounds as if the solicitor thinks a tenancy could have been created but in any case, that’s the procedure. Once this is sorted I’d redefine the boundaries with your son.

Fiftyand · 11/09/2025 20:26

despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 07:43

We are involved because son has learning difficulties and is incapable of doing anything about it. Because of various other things that have happened with him, the police have categorised him as a vulnerable person. We helped him to buy the flat and are reluctant to see our hard-earned after-tax money go down the toilet. This man will never leave unless WE make him. Son is too scared/incompetent to do anything. He has agreed that the sale proceeds of flat will go into a trust that we will manage for him so that nothing like this will happen again.

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Go back to the police and report it. They will take this seriously if your son has previously been identified as vulnerable.

tinofthetop · 11/09/2025 20:38

Your son can instal an app on his phone that automatically records all phone calls. He can delete anything irrelevant but as the builder calls him to threaten him this might help your case as there will be evidence he can forward to you for the police.

I would absolutely report this for cuckooing, this chap already has a prison record which may help the police to evict him and arrest him.

Original poster
despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 21:05

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 11/09/2025 20:25

This person has literally NO legal right to occupy thus property, and no defence in court. Just change the locks!

Trouble is has been to prison twice, has a record of violent behaviour and lots of criminal friends. I am 5'3" and in my sixties and my friends are not very frightening!

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 11/09/2025 21:46

Do you facetime your son regularly? Are you sure he's ok where he is?

Original poster
despairingmum4 · 12/09/2025 08:20

ClaredeBear · 11/09/2025 20:25

You have received advice from the solicitor and stepping outside of this might land you in hot water. You could try the police but it sounds as if the solicitor thinks a tenancy could have been created but in any case, that’s the procedure. Once this is sorted I’d redefine the boundaries with your son.

Son has agreed to sell the house and put it into a trust controlled by us as trustees. So no chance of something like this happening again. He is a difficult young man and very naive - desperate for friends. But he has been taken advantage of in a big way.

OP posts:
Original poster
despairingmum4 · 12/09/2025 08:21

tinofthetop · 11/09/2025 20:38

Your son can instal an app on his phone that automatically records all phone calls. He can delete anything irrelevant but as the builder calls him to threaten him this might help your case as there will be evidence he can forward to you for the police.

I would absolutely report this for cuckooing, this chap already has a prison record which may help the police to evict him and arrest him.

Thank you. That's a useful idea about recording calls. I'll get him to do that. Any thoughts on which app to use?

OP posts:
Original poster
despairingmum4 · 12/09/2025 08:22

CurlyhairedAssassin · 11/09/2025 21:46

Do you facetime your son regularly? Are you sure he's ok where he is?

Yes, we speak to him everyday.

OP posts:
tinofthetop · 12/09/2025 13:03

I can't remember what recording app I used it was about 7 years ago but I needed it to be able to transcribe a phone call and then my follow up email recapping what had been discussed was incredibly accurate.

You could put one on your phone now, get your Dh/Dp to ring you and see what you think of the quality of the recording.

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:18

despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 20:10

Can you explain this a bit more please. Why will it be invalid? This person is a licensee of my son, the owner. Should we inform the insurance company?

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What do you mean? Is there a tenancy agreement? If so, fine as long as your son actually has landlords insurance and not personal home insurance, which I doubt he does.

if the friend is just squatting there essentially, then landlord insurance wouldn’t be applicable and your son’s personal home insurance sure as heck wouldn’t cover it @despairingmum4

Original poster
despairingmum4 · 18/09/2025 14:20

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:18

What do you mean? Is there a tenancy agreement? If so, fine as long as your son actually has landlords insurance and not personal home insurance, which I doubt he does.

if the friend is just squatting there essentially, then landlord insurance wouldn’t be applicable and your son’s personal home insurance sure as heck wouldn’t cover it @despairingmum4

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Phoned insurance co and all ok

OP posts:
Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:25

despairingmum4 · 18/09/2025 14:20

Phoned insurance co and all ok

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So he has landlord’s insurance?

what did you actually ask the insurance company? Did you actually still them the truth of the situation ?

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:37

who was concerned about the situation (the person in the house has been to prison and has other criminals over) and also had concerns that our son was intimidated into letting him in.

have you shown that letter to social services given he has a young child regularly stay there?

Original poster
despairingmum4 · 18/09/2025 18:27

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:37

who was concerned about the situation (the person in the house has been to prison and has other criminals over) and also had concerns that our son was intimidated into letting him in.

have you shown that letter to social services given he has a young child regularly stay there?

Interesting idea. I hadn't thought of that. I hope that things will be resolved on Monday but that might be useful if not. Thanks.

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 18/09/2025 20:53

despairingmum4 · 18/09/2025 14:20

Phoned insurance co and all ok

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Not a chance did you tell the insurance company what is actually going on

No way would damage to the property to be covered in this scenario

Fruitlips · 18/09/2025 20:54

despairingmum4 · 18/09/2025 18:27

Interesting idea. I hadn't thought of that. I hope that things will be resolved on Monday but that might be useful if not. Thanks.

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What’s happening on Monday?

Original poster
despairingmum4 · 25/09/2025 05:24

On Monday, we met this person at the property, paid him off and he went. We hired an enormous security guard who sat in the car and filmed and was ready to jump into action if needed. The house is not clean but at least he hasn't smashed it up. We've changed the locks and installed a parking post in the parking bay. House goes on the market in a couple of weeks' time. Insurance has been changed to one for unoccupied houses. Hopefully an end to this sorry saga. Thanks for all your helpful thoughts on the situation.

OP posts:
pilates · 25/09/2025 07:17

That’s good news

ThePoshUns · 25/09/2025 07:33

Good news OP.

Lennonjingles · 25/09/2025 07:37

What a relief, not what you obviously wanted to do, but I bet you feel so much better.

Original poster
despairingmum4 · 26/09/2025 06:22

Certainly do feel great relief that this is over. What a nightmare it has been. Now we just have to fix up the damage he's done and then sell the house. Son is now in hospital with a septic arm. 😥

OP posts:
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