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Original poster

How to get someone out of your property who refuses to go

126 replies

despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 07:22

My son (in his 30s) has drink and drug issues and makes bad decisions.

At the end of May, he let a "friend" into his flat and now this person refuses to leave. My son is now working abroad. We were alerted to the situation by an anonymous letter from someone in the street who was concerned about the situation (the person in the house has been to prison and has other criminals over) and also had concerns that our son was intimidated into letting him in. The person occupying does not pay rent (although he has loaned my son a significant amount of money) and done some work on the property. We have paid him for this work on the basis of invoices he has submitted and photos of the work. We have agreed to pay him the money he loaned to our son and part paid him this. He refuses to leave. We have served him (through a solicitor) with a notice to quit but he is still there. Our solicitor is now going to try and get a court order to remove him. The person occupying says he will fight the application as he has a two year old daughter who stays with him some nights and we can't make him homeless. This all started about 8 weeks ago so he has had plenty of time to find somewhere else to live. Solicitor says it will take 3 months to get him out using the legal process. He says he will go if we pay him the full amount of the money our son borrowed, but we don't want to do that until he has moved out. Stalemate! In the meantime, he has had a skip delivered to the flat's parking bay (person is a builder) and this is breaching one of the covenants of the flat as it is only to be used for parking. We think a breach could end up with our son being taken to court by the management company.

We are so upset about the whole thing it would be really good to hear outsiders' objective views of what to do about this and get him out. Is there a way we can safely pay him the money and ensure he moves out? He is a really bad person so we can't trust him.

Sorry for the long read!

PS As soon as he is out, son will sell the flat and son has agreed to repay us the loan and legal costs from sale proceeds.

OP posts:
BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 11/09/2025 07:52

You need to report this to the police. Its abuse of a vulnerable person.

Slimagain · 11/09/2025 07:53

Yesitwill · 11/09/2025 07:42

So so weird
his young child comes over and stays the night (in “his” bedroom?). Presumably he cooks in your kitchen? Presumably the child talks to you? Sits in the lounge? You open the door to her and let her in?

Show quote history

I think you may have a bit of a reading comprehension fail there @Yesitwill
The OP doesn’t live in the flat. It’s her son’s flat .

holidayinuk · 11/09/2025 07:53

How awful - Can’t you change the locks when he is out? Call the skip company and tell them to remove it the number is usually on the skip.

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 11/09/2025 07:54

Yesitwill · 11/09/2025 07:42

So so weird
his young child comes over and stays the night (in “his” bedroom?). Presumably he cooks in your kitchen? Presumably the child talks to you? Sits in the lounge? You open the door to her and let her in?

Show quote history

Read the OP. The man is staying in the son’s flat not the OP’s house, so actually weird that you didn’t read the thread properly.

Goonie1 · 11/09/2025 07:56

Sounds like there could be cuckooing happening here. Here is a link that explains it and if you think it’s fits the bill, please talk to your solicitor about your concerns and involving the police.

https://www.dpp-law.com/blog/what-is-cuckooing/

What is Cuckooing? | DPP Law

What is Cuckooing? Understanding this recently realised act by criminals of taking over another persons home to facilitate illegal activity

https://www.dpp-law.com/blog/what-is-cuckooing/

Newsnow · 11/09/2025 07:59

I must say I’m surprised that such a vulnerable person can independently go and live and work abroad.

Motnight · 11/09/2025 08:02

Learning difficulties or learning disabilities, Op? That does make a difference to your son's vulnerability.

ParmaVioletTea · 11/09/2025 08:02

IANAL, but the person there is squatting illegally, I should have thought. Shouldn’t be too hard to get him out with a good bailiff company.

SoScarletItWas · 11/09/2025 08:03

Goonie1 · 11/09/2025 07:56

Sounds like there could be cuckooing happening here. Here is a link that explains it and if you think it’s fits the bill, please talk to your solicitor about your concerns and involving the police.

https://www.dpp-law.com/blog/what-is-cuckooing/

I agree, but if OP has explained the circumstances to the solicitor and the solicitor has told her the process to follow, then that’s the process regardless.

The only step missing seems to be getting an injunction to stop the ‘friend’ going near the property.

Like @AllTheChatsAboutTea said, OP has a solicitor on the case so no idea what else MNetters can advise.

AgathaX · 11/09/2025 08:04

Does the guy have a tenancy agreement to stay there? Is he paying rent? Or is he squatting?
Different ways of approaching either scenario.

SallySuperTrooper · 11/09/2025 08:05

Newsnow · 11/09/2025 07:59

I must say I’m surprised that such a vulnerable person can independently go and live and work abroad.

Agree how is he managing abroad op? Are you not concerned about similar happening where he is?

SoScarletItWas · 11/09/2025 08:05

ParmaVioletTea · 11/09/2025 08:02

IANAL, but the person there is squatting illegally, I should have thought. Shouldn’t be too hard to get him out with a good bailiff company.

If you google ‘how to remove a squatter’ you’ll see why (surprisingly) it’s not that simple and can indeed take months, as the solicitor here is saying. OP is buggered, frankly.

Slimagain · 11/09/2025 08:05

Hi OP. This sounds like a classic cuckooing scenario. In normal circumstances it would be appropriate to tell you to let your son deal with this - but cuckooing is extremely difficult to deal with and you need to contact the police urgently. Most police stations have specialist cuckooing teams. (Mine does) . DO NOT pay this man anymore money.
Please get the right help with this. The intimidation, threats, vulnerable adult, drug problems and financial abuse are the key ingredients to cuckooing. You will be taken seriously when you report this - and don’t be surprised if this man is not already known for this behaviour.

If you are lucky his recent prison stay may well have restrictions placed on his licence that prohibit this type of activity - sufficient for a recall to prison. It’s a VERY common scenario in this type of situation.

Icecreamandcoffee · 11/09/2025 08:07

Speak to police and solicitors. If your son has Special needs and is considered a vulnerable person then this could be considered "cuckoo-ing" and there are protections in place for this.

vjg13 · 11/09/2025 08:08

Does this man pay rent to your son or have any form of tenancy agreement? If not and the date has passed by which you instructed him you want him to leave then get a locksmith to change the locks. You can arrange a date for the rest of his possessions to be collected from outside if necessary.

ChampagneRose · 11/09/2025 08:09

If you wait for the legal process it will take months. This happened to someone we know - the person in the flat moved in his pregnant daughter and they couldn’t kick them out. Took 18 months in the end. Only way to end it is to get in the flat, change the locks and have a group of burly men waiting for when they return. Even with the police involved, they will fake lease documents etc.

if he has a record this guy, the police might take it more seriously especially if your son is already known as vulnerable to the police

Original poster
despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 08:15

SoScarletItWas · 11/09/2025 07:46

Thanks. My picture of an adult man able to work abroad was different to how you describe him.

Show quote history

He's a chef so gets accommodation bills etc as part of the package and so doesn't need to organise anything. Just get up and go to work! Which he can just about manage

OP posts:
vjg13 · 11/09/2025 08:15

Definitely contact the police with your concerns around cuckooing and your fears about the individual and his criminal record.

Original poster
despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 08:17

SallySuperTrooper · 11/09/2025 08:05

Agree how is he managing abroad op? Are you not concerned about similar happening where he is?

Show quote history

He is a chef and has accommodation/bills etc included in his salary package so all he has to do is get up and go to work. He doesn't rent or own anything so no danger of this happening again

OP posts:
SushiForMe · 11/09/2025 08:18

I would change the locks when he goes out, install a ring doorbell or similar and call the police if he tries to force entry.

Original poster
despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 08:19

vjg13 · 11/09/2025 08:08

Does this man pay rent to your son or have any form of tenancy agreement? If not and the date has passed by which you instructed him you want him to leave then get a locksmith to change the locks. You can arrange a date for the rest of his possessions to be collected from outside if necessary.

Apparently, it would be illegal to do that. Our solicitor says we need to get a court order. I would be very happy to hear otherwise and that we can simply change the locks - although he is a builder so has probably changed them already to prevent us doing this.

OP posts:
Original poster
despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 08:20

Slimagain · 11/09/2025 08:05

Hi OP. This sounds like a classic cuckooing scenario. In normal circumstances it would be appropriate to tell you to let your son deal with this - but cuckooing is extremely difficult to deal with and you need to contact the police urgently. Most police stations have specialist cuckooing teams. (Mine does) . DO NOT pay this man anymore money.
Please get the right help with this. The intimidation, threats, vulnerable adult, drug problems and financial abuse are the key ingredients to cuckooing. You will be taken seriously when you report this - and don’t be surprised if this man is not already known for this behaviour.

If you are lucky his recent prison stay may well have restrictions placed on his licence that prohibit this type of activity - sufficient for a recall to prison. It’s a VERY common scenario in this type of situation.

Thank you. That's really useful. I will look into this.

OP posts:
Original poster
despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 08:21

Icecreamandcoffee · 11/09/2025 08:07

Speak to police and solicitors. If your son has Special needs and is considered a vulnerable person then this could be considered "cuckoo-ing" and there are protections in place for this.

Thank you. That's really useful. I will look into this.

OP posts:
Newsnow · 11/09/2025 08:22

despairingmum4 · 11/09/2025 08:19

Apparently, it would be illegal to do that. Our solicitor says we need to get a court order. I would be very happy to hear otherwise and that we can simply change the locks - although he is a builder so has probably changed them already to prevent us doing this.

Show quote history

Why do you think mumsnet readers, with no knowledge of the specifics, and who you have no way of knowing whether or not they’re legally qualified, will give better advice than the solicitor you’ve already engaged?

ThePoshUns · 11/09/2025 08:23

You’ve got legal advice and are progressing that through a solicitor, I don’t think random unqualified strangers on the internet can give you any other advice.

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