Not leaving estate to husband

[Ebananascroogey]

Just wondering if its possible to leave everything in my will to someone else? Every asset was mine bought before we got together, so can I leave them all to my brother, or will he have claim on it all because we are married?
Marriage is 8 years so far if that makes a difference.
Thanks for any help you can give

No it’s not ‘fair’ that he entered the marriage and immediately stopped working and hasn’t worked since. That’s fraud. What the OP needs to find out is where she stands legally with her finances and go from there. She owes this cocklodger the absolute minimum the law dictates and nothing more.

This is just wrong.

That rule applies to marital property only, ie, assets earned during the course of the marriage, not what you came into the marriage with. There are other legal principles which also apply when it comes to divorce and dividing up property.

OP - please get proper legal on both divorce and wills.

Please read my post again. I said that if he’s genuinely ill, it’s fair he gets something. On the other hand, if OP believes he exploited her, she needs to divorce him now, whether or not this can be proved and whether or not she ends up paying.

Why is it fair he get something if he is ‘genuinely ill?’ I’m intrigued. He has contributed nothing financially. If there are no dependants then why is it fair?

I think it is fair because marriage has an element of financial contract. People don’t always realise that nowadays. In most cases of divorce where theres a big disparity of assets and income, the poorer partner will get something, maybe even half of the joint assets. To avoid this, you have to avoid marriage.

OP you’ve received a lot of alarmingly wrong advice here.

Your assets have not automatically become your husband’s. However, you have financially maintained him for a long time. The starting point in an inheritance dispute between a husband and his wife’s estate is the 50/50 split that would occur in a divorce.

You need to see a solicitor. Under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependents) Act 1975, the standard for a spouse isn’t what is reasonable, it’s what has come before. Even a life interest has been held to be not enough.

You can write a statement to accompany your will, but it would need to be incredibly detailed.

His mental health issues etc., will also work against you. He can’t work, you’ve maintained him, and left him with nothing. In the court’s eyes, that would be held to be a pretty unreasonable act and it’s likely he would be awarded a substantial sum.

Yes a challenge can be expensive, however in a case like this it’s pretty cut and dry that there should be some sort of settlement - so he’d likely get a conditional fee agreement and the estate would end up paying his fees. If it went to court, the settlement would be even larger and fees settled as ordered.

Your best bet would be to go and see two solicitors - one who specialises in inheritance disputes, and a family solicitor. Go and find out what your best options are - is it to divorce him now, or wait on the off chance he won’t launch a claim?

It’s totally possible that he won’t. But as you’ve been financially maintaining him for a long time, any claim he did make has a good chance of being successful.

This really depends where you live. In Scotland you can’t disinherit your spouse even if you want to.

I had to go look up spousal maintenance to see if it still goes on in England and while it does, it tends to be a fixed payment as opposed to some lifetime ball and chain.

Back to getting some excellent legal advice OP. Honestly your life is worth something and you are allowing someone you don’t love and probably don’t even like to take the remainder of it from you. Yes you are going to have to give him some money but it will be worth it to have your freedom back. He will not be automatically entitled to the assets you solely brought into the marriage.

Surely you need to bear in mind that he could also start divorce proceedings against you to get half your assets now if he realises what you plan? I think you definitely need to get ahead of the game and see an experienced solicitor for advice.

See a solicitor, get legal advice and put whatever you need in place. Do you want to live for potentially the next 40 years with this man? Get rid, tell him to leave

A divorce is nowhere near as hard as the life you are living now. Ask him to move out, separate and your energy will immediately return. He needs to live elsewhere so you have the space to work this out.

Your DH shouldn't be worse off by your death than he would be upon divorce, so leave him what he would be entitled to if you split and leave the rest to your brother

I do agree that if you’re considering Divorce at all, it’s much better for you to apply so you’re more in control of the process.

Sounds as though you need a Solicitor who specialises in helping Domestic Abuse victims.

He saw you coming OP. If I had all the assets you did, I would not have got married in the first place. So divorce will be easier, get the ball rolling and get good advice from a solicitor. Why would you want to be stuck with him for years to come if he’s a lazy as you say?

If I were your DH and I discovered you intended to will everything to your DB I might be tempted to consider divorce and go for half of all the marital assets. It is beyond my comprehension that you would want to leave everything to brother in preference to life partner.

Pay to see a solicitor regarding divorce and though too late it is indeed a mistake to marry when you are the partner who has far more assets at a later stage of life without the chance of children and all the complications that entails. I’m not admonishing you just writing this in case another woman comes across your thread.

When still young I broke up with my ex who relayed the words ‘I would never have had enough money for you’ he was of course totally correct, though not the only issue. As someone who earned very well in my younger years I wanted someone who could match me. Overall head over heart has seen me through life.

“Life partner” suggests some kind of partnership, financially, decision making and just spending time together having fun.

The OP seems genuinely scared of leaving the relationship because of her “D”H’s reaction and I can’t really see from her posts where he’s been treating her as a partner? More like a meal ticket that he has the audacity to be vile to.

I have a friend who was in a similar position to you. Man love bombed her, they were both 45+ adults (he was a bit older) and working. They got married, and then he decided it was time to retire and be a kept man. Whilst she was working he was messing around with other women. She divorced him and has never been happier. He did try, and failed, to claim that she should be keeping him in the manner to which he had become accostomed after the divorce.

Take control of the situation and speak to a solicitor - a divorce may well be the best way to ensure the maximum amount of the estate remains with you. As long as you are married he can claim something.

I am not an expert - speak to a good solicitor. Your situation should be easier if the marriage is short and there are no children.

Divorce the cocklodger

Cheering you on OP.

I think even a week away by the seaside might clear you head enough to execute a decent escape plan.

You can mitigate that, however. It's the same for children. Legal rights only extend to the moveable estate - the house can't be touched (unless it's included as part of a business, so rentals would be included).

I knew someone whose children expected to get much more than they actually received. He had made his will, but hadn't been warned about the moveable estate provision which would have meant that his children would have had a wad of cash. (For whatever reason, the solicitor had given bad advice.)

He solved the problem before he died by buying a new car and putting it in his wife's name. (Normally, they'd have paid half each and would have had it in joint names.)

Thank you everyone, i started this thread when i couldn't get any lower & couldn't see a way out. I hoped for one or two answers that would help me decide whether to book a solicitors appointment or not, but what i got was so much more.
I know he won't leave, no matter what, so as lovely as that would be it won't happen, & i know exactly how awful it will be to live with him while divorcing, so I have to think about that, but i know what i am going to do is try & squirrel away enough money to see a solicitor, a really good one that will look out for me. Then i can make decisions on whether to sell something to get me out, or something else. Evicting a tenant will take forever if they choose not to go willingly, because of all the court delays, and i suspect that if he found out i was doing it he'd know something was afoot before i'm ready to tell him, so that feels a bit 'last resort' at the moment.
I'm going to use some of the employee welfare stuff available at work too & see if i can get me a bit stronger in the meantime.
Wouldn't have got to this point without all the advice & encouragement, so thank you!

If you speak to your GP you can access free counselling in the meantime? It’s available to everyone now, and is an added layer of support.

Additionally would consider enlisting the help of women’s aid? They can be contacted discreetly.

You sound very sure that you are not going to be able to remove him, so can you leave instead? After making a plan, saving etc. I feel worried for you.

Seek legal advice but unlikely you couldn’t leave him somewhere to live until he dies.

https://www.womensaid.org.uk

Please don’t feel alone. Many on here have been through something similar. Reach out for support, people do really care. You have taken such a positive step already posting this thread 💐💐