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Original poster

Child’s dad refusing to allow my holiday

44 replies

MaxandNutty · 08/08/2025 20:21

My breast fed baby’s dad gets contact every Saturday. I work full time and am hoping to go on holiday (in uk) for one week and offered him contact on alternative days for him to choose and gave him one months notice. He refused. I can’t change the dates of the holiday booking and am taking my elderly gran who has dementia and can’t go if I don’t take her. I have been forced to lodge a court request and he has defended it saying he works full time and should not have to use his annual leave to spend time with his child. I am flabbergasted at his selfishness. Any ideas what the court might say? I’ve just taken two days unpaid leave as child was sick and couldn’t go to nursery. Dad does not help with nursery fees either even though he earns significantly more than me.

OP posts:
sciaticafanatica · 08/08/2025 20:24

Are you married.?
does he have court ordered access?

AlastheDaffodils · 08/08/2025 20:24

Does he pay you the full CMS amount? If not then claim that immediately.

You’ll probably win the court case. If there’s no court decision before the holiday then you can go anyway. His claim alone can’t stop you going.

Soontobe60 · 08/08/2025 20:24

Unless he has court ordered contact, he cannot prevent you from going on holiday in the UK. If he’s not willing to change his day thats his problem, he will lose out. Just go on your holiday and enjoy your time with your Nan x

Painrelief · 08/08/2025 20:25

Next time just tell him she’s not coming to contact because she’s ill in bed and she just wants to be at home with you in her own bed .

Works both ways now though doesn’t it , you know how he’s playing this game …

BabyCatFace · 08/08/2025 20:25

You don't need a court order to allow you to go on holiday unless the contact is currently court ordered? You just tell him when you're going and if he wanted to stop you he would have to go to court (and he'd lose!)

Original poster
MaxandNutty · 08/08/2025 21:48

The contact is court ordered as he wants everything through court and refused to participate in mediation. I am fine with him having contact and have never prevented this. But if it is every single Saturday then although I also work full time I can never take a weeks holiday without going to court (as he refuses permission or alternative contact to make up the hours).

OP posts:
Original poster
MaxandNutty · 08/08/2025 21:51

And no we have never been married

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 08/08/2025 22:19

Every Saturday is not normal, why did you agree to it? Is it just for a couple of hours as you’re breast feeding ?

LaurieFairyCake · 08/08/2025 22:22

It can’t be court ordered as where’s the rest of the agreement? Holidays? Christmas?
there’s no way they issued an order saying Saturdays for him in perpetuity Confused with no other orders

DuckBee · 08/08/2025 22:23

He’s really not thought this through - so basically he’s going to have contact on every Saturday for the next 17 and a half years? He’s never going to have the child longer?

CountryQueen · 08/08/2025 22:28

Court ordered every Saturday?

cestlavielife · 08/08/2025 22:28

You could just holiday sunday to Friday to avoid the issue
You need to apply to amend the court order to specify holidays if he won't budge

Amuseaboosh · 08/08/2025 22:28

Do you have a Child Arrangements Order?
Within that, do you have a a Live With Order?
If you have a Live With, you can travel OUTSIDE of the UK with your child without his consent.
You do not need his consent to travel within the UK but if your holiday falls during his contact time then he needs to agree with that and the order is varied between by consent just for that period.
If you take your child awwy during his court ordered contact, you are in breach ot the order and he can make a C79 application to enforce contact.

Also, how old is your child?

Regardless, return to court to vary the existing order to alternate weekend/Saturday with some mid-week access.

Finally, go and get legal advice from a Family Law practitioner.

Amuseaboosh · 08/08/2025 22:30

Also, CM and marriage have NOTHING to do with Child Arrangements.

Original poster
MaxandNutty · 09/08/2025 08:17

The court ordered 5 hours every Saturday - I had offered 5 hours split Saturday and time during week but he doesn’t want that

OP posts:
Original poster
MaxandNutty · 09/08/2025 08:18

The court order 5 hours every Saturday with no other arrangements for holidays or anything else and said they would review later in the year. He refused mediation

OP posts:
Original poster
MaxandNutty · 09/08/2025 08:20

I could and that’s what he says but I also work full - should I not get a full week holiday? Is that not normal?

OP posts:
Gmala · 09/08/2025 08:20

I'd be shocked if the judge didn't grant your request tbh. Some judges I know would outright laugh at him.

Ineffable23 · 09/08/2025 08:22

Can you go on the holiday as normal but come back one night early? It's shit and I would definitely ask for a variation, if that's possible, but if they didn't grant one in time?

Meadowfinch · 09/08/2025 08:24

If they said they would review later in the year, they will most likely allow the holiday as part of the review unless there is some specific reason why not.

You have offered alternatives and he's clearly being unreasonable.

Michele09 · 09/08/2025 08:24

Surely they will tell him to see dc on Sunday that weekend with no need for annual leave. It's unreasonable to cut your holiday short.

DorothyStorm · 09/08/2025 08:26

Amuseaboosh · 08/08/2025 22:28

Do you have a Child Arrangements Order?
Within that, do you have a a Live With Order?
If you have a Live With, you can travel OUTSIDE of the UK with your child without his consent.
You do not need his consent to travel within the UK but if your holiday falls during his contact time then he needs to agree with that and the order is varied between by consent just for that period.
If you take your child awwy during his court ordered contact, you are in breach ot the order and he can make a C79 application to enforce contact.

Also, how old is your child?

Regardless, return to court to vary the existing order to alternate weekend/Saturday with some mid-week access.

Finally, go and get legal advice from a Family Law practitioner.

All of this op. Why the fuck should he just get five hours on a Saturday? It isnt fair at all on you. You would have all the childcare / school drop off and pick ups and he gets mcdonalds and a walk around a park? and you get a sunday? What utter bull crap.

you need to really think through the impact as the child gets older, goes to school, has hobbies, has friends.

DorothyStorm · 09/08/2025 08:27

Meadowfinch · 09/08/2025 08:24

If they said they would review later in the year, they will most likely allow the holiday as part of the review unless there is some specific reason why not.

You have offered alternatives and he's clearly being unreasonable.

And communicate with him via parenting app or email. .

Original poster
MaxandNutty · 09/08/2025 08:28

The sheriff before fawned all over him asking about his job and house and if he worked full time - never asked me a single question - and then ordered every Saturday to fit with his Monday - Friday job.

OP posts:
Pleasealexa · 09/08/2025 08:31

Have you lodged a specific issues order? It was naive of the judge not to order some flexibility in the original order.

I would email the notification of holiday, so you have documented evidence and go. It's not unreasonable to have a week's holiday. How old is the baby now?

Consider what flexibility you might need..i.e holidays, sickness etc because otherwise you will be going back to court regularly.