Divorcing and husband put house on market without my permission?

[jay789]

Married 20 years, only one child still at home. House in both names. Divorce process only at the very beginning, nothing official yet no consent order etc.
Husband has put the family home on the market, I knew nothing about this until sign went up. Rang estate agents and they had no idea he has a wife.
He refuses to speak to me at all. Adult children say he’s already put a deposit down on a new build somewhere.
I do want to sell the house and move on, but no settlement is agreed yet, I guess it will be 50/50 but I’m worried all this is happening not following the correct process.
Can anyone offer any advice? I am booked in with the solicitor.

Doesn't matter what he's done with EA. No sale will go through without your signature.
And don't sign anything until you have an agreed financial order.

What did EA say when you explained that you jointly own that property?

if he hasn't told you then you can probably arrange and not even that deliberately, to be inconveniently at home during viewings.

Don't let it wind you up, like others said.

This

Also, make sure you are there for viewings and to tell the buyer that he can't sell yet because you haven't agreed.

Are there many other assets involved and has one of you more assets such that the cash allocation from the house would not be 50/50?

And have you checked that you do not (still) share any joint bank accounts or mortgage account or credit facilities?

He's going to try and rip you off. Have you got a good solicitor?

Haha, he’s got no chance! The fact that he thinks putting the house is of any consequence whatsoever is just making him look stupid
Unless you have financial agreements in place, stay put. He has zero way of forcing this, so just ignore his childish antics

If you live in England, contact the Land Registry for advice, I'm sure they must have protocols for dealing with your situation. You need them to put a flag on your property that shows up in any searches by a prospective buyer.

Would it be bad to just go along with it and sell without a financial order?
We don’t have any other assets, less than 20k of savings between us in a joint account. We both earn a similar salary. He has a bigger pension than me, but it’s not a huge amount.
In the past he has talked about splitting everything 50/50 but now he won’t talk to me at all and has just done with without speaking to me.
We still share bank and savings accounts.

That’s a solicitor question and I’m not one so I can’t comment.

I would heavily question why compliance to whatever suits him is your first thought though? Has he always taken the lead with you meekly agreeing to his every whim? If so., you need to change mindset FAST.

He is not your friend. He does not have your best interests at heart. You need to assume (perhaps unfairly, but better on guard than caught out) that his aim is to screw you over and act accordingly
No way in hell would I do anything until the finances were in place personally- regardless of what the solicitor advises

Estate Agent has messed up here - they should have checked ownership and carried out their AML checks before marketing. You need to point this out to them and get it taken off ASAP.

Don't sell until you have your financial order in place.

Also, if your career took a hit through the child raising years, it’s not uncommon to be awarded more than 50% of assets/pensions

my (layman’s) opinion is to jump the gun on this would be exceptionally silly.

Definitely look into claiming against his pension if it is worth more than yours. He'll either need to give you a share of it or more than 50% of assets to pay you off.

Yes it would be a bad idea because you don't know what you are agreeing to.
He doesn't need to speak to you ever again, he just needs to fill in the forms and you can agree a split by correspondence. My exH and I weren't even in the same country when it went through.
But you need to know the full financial position on everything before you split the house including pension

Yes it would be a bad idea because you don't know what you are agreeing to.
He doesn't need to speak to you ever again, he just needs to fill in the forms and you can agree a split by correspondence. My exH and I weren't even in the same country when it went through.
But you need to know the full financial position on everything before you split the house including pension

Be on your guard, sounds like he’s going to try to control everything.
When I split with ex I agreed to the house being sold but he tried to use his divorce solicitors to do the conveyancing work on the house sale aswell, and was pushing for an unequal split. I told him no way, I insisted on a neutral solicitor for that!
Also agree re pension - I’d been a SAHM for the first 8 years of our marriage ( a mutual agreement as his work was shifts and childcare was all on me…) I got 50% of his pension for those 8 years.

Your pensions could easily be your biggest assets, even if modest. Seek proper advice before giving up any claim on his.

Don’t because actually you might still get surprises. Like a pension that is bigger than you think. Or some savings you didn’t know about.

Plus, if someone was pulling such a stunt on me, I’d sure be very careful to follow the ‘rules’ to the letter because I’d assume the other party was ready to shaft me big style.

Go and see your solicitor. Follow their advice. Don’t agree to anything you dint want.
Your ex wants to do things his way, quickly, with no care for your own interest. Don’t let him.

Tell the EA you won't be allowing viewings as you haven't reached a mutual decision on selling the house. And get yourself a solicitor to advise on the financial split

Not only would it be a bad idea, it would be a monumentally stupid one.

it also doesn’t sound like a great idea to still have joint accounts

You can’t actually sell till you know who will get how much of the proceeds. And it might or might not be 5050.

It would be a really bad idea to give in to him when he is trying to sell the house without your agreement. He's no longer your friend, OP. Be very wary.

The most important point made above is that he is no longer your best friend that you trust implicitly. It is now each of you for yourselves and he has realised that immediately and will continue doing everything for his convenience and best interests. Talk to a solicitor and you want to get the joint savings account frozen until who gets what is determined, you want to get everything you are entitled to you will need it in future, he has moved on already you don't need to worry about him.

Where did he get the deposit for the new build? Was that from joint savings or savings you knew nothing about? Either way that money is marital money that should be part of the divorce.

@jay789 He absolutely should not have just put the house on the market but the flip side is the house will have to be sold unless you can buy him out.

If your financial situations are relatively similar then it’ll be a 5050 split. If he has another 100k in his pension that you then it maybe worth going after a split if it’s been built up at your detriment (if you were a SAHM for example) but if it’s smaller than that it maybe worth not be worth it and he fights it solicitors fees will spiral and you’ll both lose out.

Try and get him to talk and try and proceed amicably. If he drags his heels or is difficult make it clear to him if it goes to mediation or court and drags out then the bills will rise significantly. I know someone who fought of a split of an estate and ended up costing 10s of thousand.