Sorry in advance for the length of this, but I’d really appreciate opinions and suggestions.
My ex husband has very sadly passed away. It was sudden and unexpected .
We were on good terms post our divorce, and I am helping the executor sort out his estate . He left a will but everything else is a bit of a mess. But I’m getting through it bit by bit , including arranging his funeral.
Our adult son , mid 20’s is his sole beneficiary and our only child. There is a house owned outright plus an amount of money . He will move into the house in a few months.
DS has a girlfriend , who frankly has shown herself to be not particularly trustworthy where money is concerned. They have been together for several years . She is the higher earner by some way , but they do not split rent and bills in proportion , whereby she is able to buy herself what she likes, yet my son frequently runs out of money before month end, not spending particularly lavishly and I often have to subsidise him , which I do gladly as I am not seeing him short of money when I have it. I suspect she is controlling and my son is quite a gentle soul. She has pulled some stunts around finances which are not nice at all and I can’t forget them.
I regularly treat them to dinner and holiday spending money which I’m happy to do and I have helped her out with emergencies in the past. I don’t expect her to kiss my feet but she seems to have now to come to expect it and is I think m quite entitled.
So ex h death has crystallised this issue. She knows there is money around , but not the detail and I am loath to have her know anything for the reasons stated. My son is quite happy for me and the executor of the will ( ex h best friend who I get on great with) to invest the money wisely for him , he has no immediate need for it, but I’m getting the vibe that she is quizzing him about finances and what’s what.
I’d really appreciate views on what you all consider a fair split of finances as they move into ex H house, in terms of expenditure and whether something can be drawn up legally to both set out fair terms for them living together and also protect his inheritance , both the house and money. His dad had no time for his girlfriend and I know would want me to make sure he was looked after. He’s a lovely natured boy but naive and whilst I am desperate not to fall out with him , (we have a lovely close relationship but I let him get on with his life and I have my own life too) , I really feel that he needs some guidance and legal protection if it’s possible.
Sorry for the length of this post, I’m really worried and feeling the weight of responsibility as his now only parent. Thank you if you got this far.