Sarah's Law Claire's Law Disclosure - What next?

[danidog]

I have requested a disclosure for my ex's new partner. We have 3 children and I want to make sure they are safe, I have been told there are issues? Maybe true maybe not. Police have contacted MASH? now the girls have a social worker assigned. I have had an email now saying they have prepared a disclosure and They will see me at the police station soon and the social worker will be invited to read it at the same time. Will this mean there is something that could endanger our girls? will social services need to set up a support system for the girls? Will they notify the schools? Will they tell my ex? Will they tell the new partner? so many questions, my ex has said i have opened a can of worms? and I wont make them choose children or new partner (frankly I really dont care anymore about that but surely this might have an impact) I really don't know what's going to happen but I just want to protect them. My brain is frazzled.
What has anyone else done this or had this problem?

If they have a disclosure for you and have referred to MASH then there is cause for concern. They should disclose to your ex too. Your ex sounds like she doesn't understand risk if she is cross with you for doing this. What social services will/can do depends on the level of risk. You won't know until you've met with them and had the disclosure. If your ex is told about risk he poses and wants to continue the relationship regardless you may want to consider care arrangements.

@danidog this all sounds terrible. I am so sorry, but once Social Services are involved with your family (from personal experience), they will not leave you alone, particularly if you are middle class and compliant. May I ask if you are a man seeking assurance about a new man or a woman seeking information about a man new in her life? It does make a difference in the mind of your average social worker. Don't argue if my question offends you, you have other things to worry about.

There is something to disclose so they will tell you and your ex. It sounds like something really serious. It’s concerning your ex is saying that they will not be made to choose between them, as they will likely be made to do that. Are you in the position to ultimately have the children full time if your ex refuses to leave a potentially dangerous person? The school may be notified if they think they can help safeguard the children, and help look out for any signs of any issues

Goodness me, do you think social workers are twiddling their thumbs waiting for compliant middle class families to bother? We have more work than we can ever complete within our 40 hours so why would we be motivated to not leave people alone? There's clearly a risk for this family and a social worker is absolutely the right person to support with assessing that risk and responding to it. Believe me, they won't stay involved any longer than they have to.

You've opened a can of worms that needed opening. This kind of response means they have found something to be concerned about and are taking appropriate action.

Is that a Sarah's and Clare's law disclosure? So sex and violent offender?

Rubbish!
I think Social Services will try to get rid of the case as quickly as possible for "nice middle class" families. If they want to hang on it means they doubt someone will take the necessary steps to keep the children safe,

I used to be a social worker and I did my job very well. When I found myself and colleagues making excuses about our (well paid jobs including optional overtime) and heavy workload and honestly hating having to deal with the harder cases, I left the profession. I'm sorry you are so triggered by my comment and wish to take it personally instead of using it as time to reflect.

So if there is a risk, all involved with the children such as school/ex/ex's partner will find out. Especially as they have contact with your ex.
You have absolutely done the right thing and don't let anyone tell you different. Your children are your first priority and you ARE keeping them safe.

@MollyButton Dismissing my experience as "rubbish" is a bit low grade. Still, I hope you are right, for the sake of these children.

You aren't a social worker. Don't give me that 😆

my ex has said i have opened a can of worms? and I wont make them choose children or new partner

If your ex's new partner is deemed to be a danger to the children, then your ex absolutely will have to choose between their children and their new partner.

OP, you've done entirely the right thing here and the most important thing is that your children are kept safe. It must all seem very daunting having to have conversations with social workers etc but you have done the right thing and social services will be able to talk you through what's happened next. You can ask them all the questions you've asked here.

@Fraggeek is absolutely correct: we involve all agencies, that means school and GP etc in a network. You did the right thing, but sadly, in my previous career, I saw innocent people unjustly maligned and challenging abusers steal away until the children involved grew up.

What a ridiculous accusation: I was once a SW and found it depressing and hopeless. Please go away now, I am not here to fight with strange people on the internet.

Hey folks thanks for the replies Im just a bit frazzled. Im not to fussed who is involved tbh im sure they have enough to do and if there is no problem they will be happy with that but just wondered the immediate aftermath of such a disclosure?
On a side not please don't bicker amongst yourselves its really mean and was not the point of my question?

You're yhe kne that needs to go away.
Making out that the system is against middle classes is BS

Very articulate. Thanks for your input based on knowing nothing about me and zero respect for a fellow mum.

Hi OP
Out of curiosity what made you do the disclosure requests? Was there something niggling at you? I'm purely interested as it appears you're spot on.

Exactly @Glorybox2025

I realise you are pointing this at me and those who decided to question my submission. I did my best to give you insight as to how we (from my job years ago) operate as a network around child safeguarding. I'm happy to leave. Good luck, sincerely.

If they've involved social services and set up a mash meeting it's serious. Normally they would just report findings. Definitely when my friend did one despite the person being on the sex offenders register for offences against children (think flashing but not quite) social services were not involved.

Without disclosing anything, but with some personal experience in this. They have found something that has the potential to have an impact on the safety of your kids. What happens next depends on the seriousness of what they have found, in terms of
a) risk level to your kids
b) IF the risk is felt to be high, what measures are needed to bring that back to acceptable.
Until they report back to you, you really can't know or do anything else.

If they are on an sor, police will also be involved. I wouldn't be surprised if you'll get accused of ruinibg everything by your ex. It's pretty common to have that reaction even when you are the one who has been proactive about safeguarding