Anyway to protect our dad's house from new "girlfriend"? (big age gap, possibly coercive relationship)

[LegalQElderlyDad]

I'll try and keep this as brief as possible.

Our mum died a few years ago - her share of their house reverted to Dad.

He is now in his late 80s and thinks he's in a relationship with a married woman nearly 40 years his junior. He thinks she is a nice person but resisted her for a long time, telling her he wasn't interested but she kept turning up on his doorstep crying "as she loves him".
We will be talking to his GP as we're very concerned about him (tried the police, they're not interested at all, even though she's had a friend come round to persuade Dad that he really should be in a relationship with her).
She's constantly messaging him, he has to reply quickly, he meets up with her two or three times a day regardless of weather or how he's feeling. He does seem obsessed or possibly controlled (hard to tell the difference tbh).

We obviously have huge concerns and he thinks that - if the house is protected for us - that will prove to us that she is only with him for him, and not for any money or for the house.
Is there any legal way to:

• protect the house from her if it turns out he's wrong about her
• ensure that Dad can live there as long as he wants (we wouldn't kick him out, he's our dad, but ironically he wants to be protected from us but sees no danger with this relatively new, much younger, woman who has pressured him into a relationship)
• prevent her inheriting the house in a way that is legal, and that - god forbid - if he married her that it wouldn't go to her?

I know people will think we're grabby but it's more that we're convinced that, if it's clear to her that she can't ever get the house, that she'll move onto someone else very quickly (from what we hear, Dad isn't the only much older man that she's been seeing....). He's had to have heart investigations due to spiking BP since she's been around so we do have concerns about his health as well.

Age Concern suggested talking to the police, however the police weren't interested and suggested talking to a solicitor which is what we'll do next.
We will also talk to his GP and his bank (we have got both health and financial POAs registered for him already).
We're very worried about this as a similar thing happened to an elderly relative of a friend and it wasn't realised until it was too late.....

I was just wondering if anyone on here has any good advice to keep her from getting the house.

Thanks

You have my complete sympathy OP, it is a very difficult situation. I do think it sounds like your father is cognitively impaired, and this woman knows that and is using it to her advantage.

I would invoke the LPA with his bank asap, and any other financial institutions. It is possible that when you start using the LPA it will put this woman off, as she will realise you are controlling his assets.

My mother has dementia and when she still lived at home she had a ‘friend’ who was very keen on regularly on going shopping with my mother, so that my mother could pay for both of them. When I told her I had started monitoring my mother’s bank account via the LPA she abruptly lost interest in shopping trips. She was a complete amateur compared with the woman harassing your father though.

I read this story a couple of years ago and it has always stayed with me, it is completely chilling. I don't know if there is anything in there which would help you.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/sep/15/daphne-franks-the-woman-who-lost-her-much-loved-mother-to-a-predatory-marriage

The problem with invoking the poa too fast is that if your dad is deemed to have capacity he can remove you permanently from it and could even replace you with this woman. Get his capacity assessed first otherwise you could end up in a far worse mess

Anyone can be PoA. It’s down to who the granter chooses. If the father made his daughter PoA for both Welfare & Financial, only she can make decisions on his behalf if he were to lose capacity. It doesn’t matter if he is married.

It's fortunate that the woman is married, because at least that offers some protection against her trying to marry the OP's dad - at least she would have to get divorced first.

The OP would still be attorney for her dad even if he remarried, unless of course he decided to do a new POA. A new wife could easily have access to dad's funds just by being married to him.

I would be speaking to her employer and explaining the situation.. if she needs a dbs check she is obviously working with other vulnerable people and her behaviour shoild be a red flag for that.
Also, you mention your father has friends... are they aware of this female and her attendance on him... could they have conversations with him..highlighting how strange her behaviour is?
This situation is very distressing for you and the rest of your family.
Hope you can get it sorted out soon.

This. I would expect the husband is in on it.

Absolutely awful. So sorry you're going through this.

Is it worth going to the police again and asking for someone who is knowledgeable about elder abuse? There should be a law like Claire's Law where you can check people out like this.

I wouldn't be worrying about her husband, I'd be making a point of contacting him.

Private detective looking into her previous activity , marriage status, whether she is doing this to other vulnerable men too etc, would be a good idea.
Or someone moving in and holding onto your Dad’s phone for him, and not letting her into the house.

Can you take your Dad on a week long holiday, as a surprise. To see his sister or old friend hundreds of miles away?
It seems to me that he needs an intervention of some kind to think clearly. Examine his bank activity?

I would also hire a personal detective to investigate the movements of the woman, her husband and friend. They might be duping more than one person etc. You need a clear picture of what is going on to discuss with your Dad.

You need to ask Police for an intervention order against the woman. She is clearly preying on yout father .. but what to do?

It's obviously a romance scam, but in person rather than online. Could you report to Action Fraud at actionfraud.police.uk?

If this woman is that manipulative with your dad, maybe you should try the same tactic (needs must) - tell your dad you’ve asked around and she has a reputation for conning old men. Could a friend say to him that her/his father had been targeted by her too? (Like a heads up for him) If you really think he is being conned you need to stop it for his sake. Rather than playing into her hands and blocking his path to her ( which might make her seem more exciting), try and make him see he is being played so that it ultimately becomes his decision.
Does he know she is married? Is she sleeping with him?
The whole thing sounds awful.