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Terrified for my son, driving related

69 replies

Bahhhhhumbug · 23/01/2025 19:52

My son was driving on the motorway to see us when he crashed his car, writing it off by driving into a barrier on the hard shoulder. He's honestly not sure what happened but thinks he may have fallen asleep. He only remembers the impact and what happened after. The police attended and got him to the service station and his car was towed away by his insurance company. He said the police were very caring etc and he wasn't breathalysed or drugs tested and no mention was made of him being charged or possibly charged with anything.
He has now bern advised by letter l think as only just heard this from him that they are investigating him for dangerous driving.
Nobody including him was injured and he was alone in the car and no other cars involved.
He is genuinely he says and he is an honest lad (hence telling police he may gave fallen asleep) not sure whether he sneezed(had a very heavy cold),blacked out skidded or what.
He is beside himself,as going through an awful accrimonious divorce involving access to his child, (which admitedly is affecting him being able to sleep well)has just been told he may be being made redundant and have to move out of his temporary accommodation. I am so worried about him and l am fairly sure he would not survive prison and could not do his job without driving or travel to see his child.
Can anyone tell me how likely in above circumstances he is to lose his licence or worse be jailed Sorry its so long.

OP posts:
LuluBlakey1 · 23/01/2025 19:53

I can't imagine he would be jailed given people who drink, drive and kill/maim someone don't seem to often be jailed.

Cynic17 · 23/01/2025 19:58

Well, he was potentially dangerous, so I don't see the issue.
But you're massively overreacting, OP - obviously he won't go to prison!
He may get a fine or points.
He is a mature adult, so just leave him to sort it out and don't fuss about it.

Floralnomad · 23/01/2025 20:00

As the pp said if anything it’s likely to be a fine / points and you getting in a state about it won’t help him at all .

JoanOgden · 23/01/2025 20:04

Here are the sentencing guidelines for dangerous driving: https://www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/offences/magistrates-court/item/dangerous-driving/

Given the circumstances, he should think about consulting a lawyer.

Dangerous driving – Sentencing

https://www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/offences/magistrates-court/item/dangerous-driving

Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 23/01/2025 20:04

I’m not a lawyer but a quick google would suggest they can get him for dangerous driving (see pic) and the punishment is serious (driving ban) so I would contact a solicitor who specialises in this area asap.

Terrified for my son, driving related
MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 23/01/2025 20:04

Points and a fine. Frankly he's very lucky, why was he driving to visit you when tired and full of cold!!

Bahhhhhumbug · 23/01/2025 20:27

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 23/01/2025 20:04

Points and a fine. Frankly he's very lucky, why was he driving to visit you when tired and full of cold!!

Well it was just a cold and he does remember sneezing quite regularly but it wasnt a flu type virus so he felt fine in himself. He had a decent amount of sleep night before, about 5 -6 hrs he said and would always stop if he felt tired. But he felt ok he said.

OP posts:
Bahhhhhumbug · 23/01/2025 20:32

Cynic17 · 23/01/2025 19:58

Well, he was potentially dangerous, so I don't see the issue.
But you're massively overreacting, OP - obviously he won't go to prison!
He may get a fine or points.
He is a mature adult, so just leave him to sort it out and don't fuss about it.

Yes l know but its just his life is falling apart bit by bit atm he feels and hes not coping. Just to say he doesnt know how worried l am lve told him it is highly unlikely he will be jailed/banned with no previous and that he should breakhis problems down into compartments to stop being overwhelmed

OP posts:
CrispieCake · 23/01/2025 20:33

He won't go to prison.

But he's very lucky he didn't kill or injure someone and he wasn't injured himself. He absolutely should not be driving until he figures out what happened, whether it is likely to happen again and what he can do to prevent it.

Tell him to look up what happened at when that woman drove into that school in Wimbledon and think "There but by the grace of God go I".

You're fixating on the wrong things. He is a very fortunate man. He'll have to figure out a way to sort the practicalities but my advice would be to give him a hug and be very, very grateful he is alive and he is not responsible for the death or serious injury of anyone else.

NC28 · 23/01/2025 20:35

Not sure why people are saying it’s points and a fine.

You must be disqualified for at least 12 months if you’re convicted of dangerous driving. Then an extended driving test to get your licence back.

Bahhhhhumbug · 23/01/2025 20:36

Floralnomad · 23/01/2025 20:00

As the pp said if anything it’s likely to be a fine / points and you getting in a state about it won’t help him at all .

I know l know, but l am not showing him how worried l am just trying to get unfo/advice for him. He has suffered from,depression in past and l am worried it will come back if he gets overwhelmed

OP posts:
MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 23/01/2025 20:39

Bahhhhhumbug · 23/01/2025 20:36

I know l know, but l am not showing him how worried l am just trying to get unfo/advice for him. He has suffered from,depression in past and l am worried it will come back if he gets overwhelmed

Just because they have grown up, it doesn't stop mum from worrying about them does it.

He has so much going on, and so all you can do it be there to listen and support and don't let him know how worried you are. If he loses his accommodation, are you able to house him at yours? Having plans for worst case scenarios that you could offer might help you feel less stressed for him.

NC28 · 23/01/2025 20:40

OP I’d suggest you stop listening to people saying he’ll get points & a fine (and stop telling your son this). It’s a mandatory ban.

From what you described happened, there was no reason for him to crash. Sneezing is not a defence. If he says he had a blackout, he’ll need medical evidence for the court and will need to surrender his licence anyway.

Bahhhhhumbug · 23/01/2025 20:41

CrispieCake · 23/01/2025 20:33

He won't go to prison.

But he's very lucky he didn't kill or injure someone and he wasn't injured himself. He absolutely should not be driving until he figures out what happened, whether it is likely to happen again and what he can do to prevent it.

Tell him to look up what happened at when that woman drove into that school in Wimbledon and think "There but by the grace of God go I".

You're fixating on the wrong things. He is a very fortunate man. He'll have to figure out a way to sort the practicalities but my advice would be to give him a hug and be very, very grateful he is alive and he is not responsible for the death or serious injury of anyone else.

I was beyond relieved he was ok and not hurt anyone else when we got the call. He did get a hug or three.
Did that woman fall asleep, l believe she wasn't charged with anything? or was she?
Yes he is going to gp to get checked out.

OP posts:
CrispieCake · 23/01/2025 20:46

Bahhhhhumbug · 23/01/2025 20:41

I was beyond relieved he was ok and not hurt anyone else when we got the call. He did get a hug or three.
Did that woman fall asleep, l believe she wasn't charged with anything? or was she?
Yes he is going to gp to get checked out.

Tell him to stay off the road until he's been seen and properly checked out. No, the woman has not been charged but remains under investigation and has to live with the stress of that and the knowledge that her driving killed two young children. I understand that it is a difficult and stressful time and it is hard to see the positives, but your son is incredibly fortunate not to be in a similar position.

ChristmasGrinch24 · 23/01/2025 20:48

It'll just be a fine & points. Nothing to get worked up about, not like someone died!

In future tell him not to drive when he's so poorly.

Meandhimtogether · 23/01/2025 20:52

Our grandson did a similar thing last year.
Was getting over flu and travelling back home he thinks he fell asleep.
Car was a right off, no one was involved. He was breathalysed and the police did a drug test. Everything was all clear. He doesn't drink in any case. Only drugs were paracetamol for the flu. These results were back in 2 months.
It took 6 months for the police to get back in touch.
He wasn't charged for dangerous driving. His insurance has risen by a lot.
The officer in charge of his case was very helpful with advice and support.

Hazel665 · 23/01/2025 21:12

Sorry all this is going on for your son. If he loses his accommodation can he move in with you? That might make him feel less stressed, and you too to be honest. Just get him home and things can start healing.

strawberrysea · 23/01/2025 21:13

His personal circumstances are irrelevant. He didn't sneeze, he clearly fell asleep when he was driving and is now facing the consequences.

This must be really hard for you but was he did was reckless and he's incredibly lucky no one was injured or killed.

Nosleepforthismum · 23/01/2025 21:31

He might have lost consciousness rather than fell asleep. I had a similar thing when I was going through a seriously stressful time and lost consciousness when driving. Fortunately not on a motorway and stuck in slow moving traffic so gradually veered off the road into someone’s brick wall. Extremely lucky I didn’t hit a pedestrian, I go cold every time I think of what could have happened. Anyway, I was breathalysed and advised to get checked out. I think I had to inform the dvla and had a ban of 6 months driving (possibly 12, I can’t remember) but no points or a fine. Hospital did a number of tests but put it down to stress. Insurance raised for the first year back driving but normal after that and no further incidents 12 years later.

MattSaracenQB1 · 23/01/2025 21:42

Could he have had sneeze syncope? I just listened to a podcast about cough syncope and driving

DaisyDukesAuntie · 23/01/2025 21:45

My mum was hit by a driver (the fault proven by CCTV etc), and she and her partner both suffered severe injuries (broken pelvis, spinal fractures etc), months to recover etc.

The other driver was sentenced to causing injury by dangerous driving which is a worse offence than dangerous driving. She got a 12 month ban. Nothing more

GladAllOver · 23/01/2025 22:30

Police attendance at an accident like that, a breath test is standard practice. Are you certain wasn't he tested?
A single swerve into the barrier would be careless driving, not dangerous.

If he has no previous, it would be points and a fine. But many cases with no third party involved they may decide not to prosecute.

Shade17 · 24/01/2025 19:57

If he gets a summons then this is the guy to speak to:

Andrew Thompson
http://counsel.direct

He’s VERY good and has an outstanding reputation.

Andrew Thompson, barrister

Andrew Thompson, barrister

http://counsel.direct

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 24/01/2025 21:11

Your son must learn from this, never speak with the police straight after a stressful event, always seek counsel first.
Just support him as best you can. He survived the crash, nobody was hurt, that is all that matters for now.