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Terrified for my son, driving related

69 replies

Bahhhhhumbug · 23/01/2025 19:52

My son was driving on the motorway to see us when he crashed his car, writing it off by driving into a barrier on the hard shoulder. He's honestly not sure what happened but thinks he may have fallen asleep. He only remembers the impact and what happened after. The police attended and got him to the service station and his car was towed away by his insurance company. He said the police were very caring etc and he wasn't breathalysed or drugs tested and no mention was made of him being charged or possibly charged with anything.
He has now bern advised by letter l think as only just heard this from him that they are investigating him for dangerous driving.
Nobody including him was injured and he was alone in the car and no other cars involved.
He is genuinely he says and he is an honest lad (hence telling police he may gave fallen asleep) not sure whether he sneezed(had a very heavy cold),blacked out skidded or what.
He is beside himself,as going through an awful accrimonious divorce involving access to his child, (which admitedly is affecting him being able to sleep well)has just been told he may be being made redundant and have to move out of his temporary accommodation. I am so worried about him and l am fairly sure he would not survive prison and could not do his job without driving or travel to see his child.
Can anyone tell me how likely in above circumstances he is to lose his licence or worse be jailed Sorry its so long.

OP posts:
cheezncrackers · 25/01/2025 08:52

If he doesn't remember what happened, then he clearly fell asleep. If he'd just sneezed, he'd know that that's what happened, because he would've been conscious when he lost control of the car. Had he taken cold/flu medication, as that can make you drowsy? He should consult a solicitor asap.

NerrSnerr · 25/01/2025 09:00

I wonder if they now have CCTV evidence of him driving prior to the accident which may add more to the dangerous driving case (veering into lanes, weaving in and out of traffic, speeding etc).

It's odd he says he doesn't know if he sneezed or fell asleep as surely he'd know if it was to do with a sneeze?

GreyAreas · 25/01/2025 09:13

Look, life does kind of spiral sometimes. It sucks to lose your licence or get prosecuted or imprisoned but it also happens every day to lots of people and it is a blunt instrument intended to keep us all safer.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
When he is through this bit and over the shock it will be time to put all of this behind him and use the wake up call to get back on track to a better future.

OhHellolittleone · 25/01/2025 09:35

This is the hardest part of being a parent. You’d take his pain in a heartbeat, but you can’t. All you can do is be an island for him in a stormy sea. Be the person and the place he knows he can rely on. You can’t fix his problems but you can support him through it. It will get better. He will look back at this time and wonder how he got through.

twilightcafe · 25/01/2025 09:58

5-6 hours is not a decent amount of sleep for an adult. At all.

I do not think your son should have driven anywhere on so little sleep.

AnotherVice · 25/01/2025 10:02

As another PP said, he will have been breathalysed, it's standard practice. I work for the ambulance service and they do this to absolutely everybody regardless of circumstances.

denhaag · 25/01/2025 10:12

I'm really surprised he wasn't breathalysed or tested for drugs. He won't be able to prove he was clean.

stillljh · 25/01/2025 10:15

Like many of the other posters I would have thought he would have been breathalysed. I'm not sure he's telling you the whole truth about this.

Nannyfannybanny · 25/01/2025 10:40

AnotherVice,is correct..DH doesn't drink alcohol,a few years ago,we were going home after a shopping trip out,windy country lanes, narrow,banks on the side. Car came round the bend,full beam,it was seconds,he was blinded left hand bend coming up. Car up the bank,hit an oak tree and fell sideways back into the road. He told them he didn't drink alcohol,no one else involved,no injuries, they still breathalysed him.

NC28 · 25/01/2025 11:25

Of course he was breathalysed. 🙄 He’s giving you non-specific, non-committal reasons and playing dumb because there’s more to it.

Time will tell the truth.

NC28 · 25/01/2025 11:26

twilightcafe · 25/01/2025 09:58

5-6 hours is not a decent amount of sleep for an adult. At all.

I do not think your son should have driven anywhere on so little sleep.

Better tell new parents not to drive til the baby sleeps through then?

Shade17 · 25/01/2025 12:00

denhaag · 25/01/2025 10:12

I'm really surprised he wasn't breathalysed or tested for drugs. He won't be able to prove he was clean.

I suspect that he probably was breathalysed, but on the off chance he wasn’t then it’s not up to him to prove he was clean.

OhHellolittleone · 25/01/2025 16:25

NC28 · 25/01/2025 11:26

Better tell new parents not to drive til the baby sleeps through then?

I really feel some new parents
shouldnt be driving when they’ve barely slept.

Ellmau · 25/01/2025 17:01

He neds a lawyer.

He isn't likely to go to prison but will almost certainly get a ban.

I'm surprised he wasn't breathalysed - any chance he's forgotten that too?

Does he drink much generally, or use drugs at all?

Threeandahalf · 25/01/2025 17:03

twilightcafe · 25/01/2025 09:58

5-6 hours is not a decent amount of sleep for an adult. At all.

I do not think your son should have driven anywhere on so little sleep.

I bet there are parents of little children driving to work daily on a few hours sleep. I certainly have commuted to work after 5 hours sleep when I had a little baby.

Fullofpudding · 25/01/2025 17:43

He would have been routinely breathalysed. Are you sure he's telling the truth. If he blacked out he shouldn't be driving and needs to tell the DVLA before he gets back behind the wheel.

Whathashedonethistime · 25/01/2025 17:52

He really needs a medical check up if he’s not sure how the accident happened OP.
If it was something like a first incidence of epilesy he won’t be able to drive again for the moment, but he won’t be held responsible for the incident.

TizerorFizz · 25/01/2025 18:14

He told the police he could have fallen asleep. That is dangerous driving. Whether he was breathalyzed or not might be irrelevant. If he was breathalised and failed, that’s also dangerous driving. If he passed the breathalyzer it’s not dangerous driving through being under the influence of alcohol.

Musicaltheatremum · 01/02/2025 16:53

AnotherVice · 25/01/2025 10:02

As another PP said, he will have been breathalysed, it's standard practice. I work for the ambulance service and they do this to absolutely everybody regardless of circumstances.

My son in law was in an accident 2 weeks ago. Someone drove into the back of him without attempting to stop. Sil was waiting to turn right. Country road

Neither of them was breathalysed. I was very surprised

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