Child Abuse and Legal Fees

[ContactNightmare]

Previously posted about my difficulties with my ex husband pursuing contact claim for our DD13 who disclosed abuse and is now recovering from CPTSD. He ie still pursuing contact. She has been suicidal at the prospect and I am fighting for her not to know of it all. He seems determined to destroy any piece of mind she has. Police won’t pursue, she is too ill, social services say no contact but she is old enough to say no.

The issue is my legal bills which are starting to mount up. I can’t manage this alone, and need expert advice.

I have a lot of equity in my house and could secure a further loan to meet some of these costs. But I am wary of a protracted fight against him. Has anyone borrowed like this to meet fees, and are banks/building societies sympathetic. I have a good salary of 80k but I don’t want things to get out of control. Not eligible for legal aid obviously

Any guidance appreciated. I know you don’t generally get these cost back but she and I need to survive this.

No family court is going to make an order against a 13 year olds express wishes

Just stop. Let him in if the costs and her declare her wishes . Job done. No more cost to you. (IANAL but I do have a law degree) ..

In if = incur

Agree with the above and I'm a Magistrate in family court.

The issue is he’s decided to pursue an alienation case against me. It’s now in the High Court. He wants all her medical records and all the social services reports. Police records. I’m being told I have to disclose them. It’s a nightmare

Surely if he has PR he can get that stuff himself?

Well I think the issue is that neither social services, the police or the NHS will hand it over. So I don’t see why I should either!

Ah...I see. Yes, unfortunately alienation cases get sent higher up than Magistrate level. If the court want these docs they'll have put it in the court order so you need to give this to SS, police etc then they'll disclose. However, it's very strange court aren't asking for disclosure.
Are CAFCASS undertaking a report?

DD has a Guardian. I want to stay right out of it. I think he should bloody well leave her alone. The things she’s said he’s done are awful. She tried to kill herself. I want her to have some treatment and to recover. He won’t accept that.

CAFCASS did a safeguarding letter. No contact recommended but we were due to do a section 7. Then DD was said to have symptoms of CPTSD. She doesn’t know he has applied - previously tried to kill herself when contact suggested.

Google Charlotte Proudman. Barrister who has fought these type of cases. There is nee guidance on alienation
Then look at McKenzie friends as cheaper to solicitors.

You are required to disclose any evidence regardless of whether it helps your case or harms it. If you refuse to disclose these things the courts are allowed to assume that your non-disclosure is because they contained information that damaged your case.

I’ve got nothing that the state doesn’t have. The court can order it if they want it.

None of these institutions will disclose to him.

If your daughter has a cafcass guardian I'd be inclined to stop paying for representation or at least only instruct for hearings and do the leg work yourself.. I'd also say that your daughter doesn't agree to her medical etc records being disclosed and see how you get on. How is the guardian seeming?

The court did not order any disclosure - they appointed a Guardian. Surely they could have just ordered me to disclose?

In family law proceedings usually the court would order disclosure directly from health, police, school etc...not from you. They could order eg the mother is to lodge with the court all records...but that'd be stupid because who's to say if you really did have something or miss out something.

Well that is my position! She’s able to have a say isn’t she? He just wants to get at me and put me under financial stress. She wouldn’t be too happy with me if I said “yes here you are”. Surely she’s allowed some privacy and agency?

Not spoken to Guardian yet….

Well they haven’t done that. He’s asked the High Court to make me disclose. A bully

If you daughter doesn’t want her medical records disclosed at 13 she’d be respected by the gp practice unless a court instructs otherwise.
we would seek legal advice if a 13 yr old said no release to dad.
unltimately if court ordered and only if the court order is addressed to us (not to the dad saying get records - that’s a very important difference) am I obliged to provide them.

So it might be that records can be disclosed to the guardian and the court but not shared with the father.. or summary letters or redacted version to be shared. I don't know but the guardian is your best place to start as they'll be representing your daughters voice.

Thank you. This is some reassurance. The Guardian has only just been appointed.

I'm a social worker instructed as an expert in private law proceedings & undertake lots of s.7 reports.

Family Justice Council have just issued guidance on allegations of alienation, forward by President of Family Division (Judge)

www.judiciary.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Family-Justice-Council-Guidance-on-responding-to-allegations-of-alienating-behaviour-2024-1-1.pdf

Parental Alienation & Parental Alienation syndrome are very much considered to be pseudo science. The guidance makes for very interesting reading.

Social worker, court & guardian are all saying no contact.
She's 13.
This is going nowhere & the risks posed by contact starting - even if some crazy judge got the case - far outweigh any benefit.

He has 0% chance here.

I would self-represent (litigant in person) on the basis of cost & allow him to drive himself mad chasing his tail.

If the court want to order these disclosures, they'll do it through the Guardian or give permission to dad for the disclosures to be made to him.
You can object on basis of daughters stated wishes & the fact no professional supports contact.
Again, it's extremely unlikely the court would order it & if you can apply to court to prevent disclosure (specific issue order) due to risks.

Your daughter doesn't need to know any of this.

Do PM me if you need any other advice - happy to help if I can

I think what I’ve realised from this thread is what utter shits his solicitors are. They have been putting pressure on me for state documents for months. And now I’m being threatened with a high court application if I don’t provide them. It sounds like bullshit. Not one of these agencies will give him
anything.

Solicitors can state whatever they like & put pressure on you & you can disregard.
Solicitors have no powers to compel you, only the courts.
Stay civil with solicitors but only the court decides what gets disclosed & what doesn't.
If he has PR, he can go chase professionals down if he wants. But if they refuse, he'll have to go back to court.
You don't have to run up thousands in debt to satisfy him.

Exactly. The CAFCASS guardian will add, as part of their report any police info and do checks with social services as standard so there's no rationale to them making you get these records.

Thank you. I have been under massive strain. My daughter is seeing CAMHS twice a week for treatment. It has been very hard to conceal this from her for the last 9 months. She is very fragile.