Inheritance question - very confused, please help

[LaCoteBasque]

Hello,

I was just wondering who might have navigated this scenario about inheritance at some point before, as right now I’m confused and a bit scared.

I (37) have been with my DP (52) for five years. We are not married. We have one DS who is 18 months. My partner has a DD (my step DD) from his previous marriage.

He owns 3 properties. The flat we currently live in (reasonable size, three bedrooms, kitchen, living room, bathroom, garden). A small one bedroom flat in his native city (different country, he rents it out). A small seaside house (very basic, no frills) which is used for summer holidays, two bedrooms , ion the coast, just a few hours on the train from his native city.

I don’t own any property. I have £100K saved up that I would put towards a deposit if I was buying.

Since having my son I’ve been worrying about wills and inheritance type stuff, i never gave it a second thought before I was a mum as it didn’t really matter (I know I was younger and stupid etc.).

Based on the conversation I’ve just had with my DP I’m a bit alarmed . We were saying we both need to do our wills and he made noises that his plan would be to leave all his properties, including our main residence to the children (DS and DSD) as that would be fair. If he left me the house we live in, he argues, that wouldn’t be fair because that would disadvantage his DD (for instance, I might decide to downsize and sell the property and then spend all the equity on myself, or I might just leave the property to DS and so DSD misses out, or I do the right thing and leave the property to both DS and DSD but then DS challenges my will and says he has more right to the property and he should get it entirely…outrageous accusation against my 18 month DS!)

My understanding was that the spouse or partner inherits the home and so isn’t made homeless and can continue to live in the place they call home. Am I a bad, entitled bratty millennial for thinking this? An I screwed?

For instance, DP’s dad will leave his properties to DP’s step mum, and DP‘s brother will leave his flat to his wife (they have three children together)…I feel like a second class citizen. AIBU for feeling this way?

Also, just in case it’s relevant - my DP used to own the flat we live in outright, mortgage all paid off just by himself. In the divorce he had to remortgage and give 50% of the proceeds to his ex wife as part of the settlement.

I would love to own half our flat , would put down my share of the deposit and start paying the mortgage monthly. But he’s turned down this idea. Says it’s not worth it with the stamp duty I would have to pay? Doesn’t sound right but anyway.

I earn £37K a year, DP is on £90K a year.

Also, I’m not interested in the foreign properties or his savings. I just want to have a guarantee I’ll have a home (the one I live in today, decorate, invest in, clean every week etc.) should he go before I do.

Another thing, he’s not that keen on getting married again. So I suppose I am a bit vulnerable in this sense.

Please help. Does anyone know a solution to this? Practical and proven ideas very welcome.

thank you in advance x

the PPs suggesting he leaves you a life interest in the home is a sensible option.

However, all those saying you have no entitlement to anything are incorrect. Under English law there is ‘testamentary freedom’ meaning you can leave your estate to whom you please. However, the rules under the ‘inheritance (provision for family and dependants) act’ 1975 set out classes of people who can bring a claim against an estate if insufficient provision is made for them under a will or intestacy. Under s1A a person who has been living with the deceased for 2 years is entitled to bring a claim against the estate for ‘reasonable financial provision’.

it would obviously be much better to resolve this with him and a life interest in the property may be a reasonable solution. Claims can be expensive to bring, not guaranteed to succeed and one of the people you would be claiming against would be your own child. The result would depend on the exact circumstances. The starting point is that you are in a class of people entitled to bring a claim. A solicitor should explain this to him and that his assets could be used up in fighting a claim, so better just to leave you reasonable financial provision in his will.

I would invest your savings in a flat and rent it out using your earnings / the rent for the mortgage.
You now know his intentions, and if he insists on doing it this way you can put things into place so that you will not be left vulnerable.

I'm with your husband on this.

My husband and I have two children. He also has a child from his first marriage. My will leaves my half of the house equally divided between my children, but he has a life interest in it. Similarly his will leaves his half of the house equally divided between his three children, but I have a life interest in it.

If he left the house to me, I could leave it to my children and ignore his son. If I left it to him, he could decide to leave the whole lot to his son, writing our two daughters out. Or he could marry again and leave everything to his new wife.

We have been married for over 30 years and I don't think either of the above scenarios is in the least bit likely. But the only way that I can protect my children's inheritance is to leave them my share of the house and that is what I have done.

Your update make the relationship seem very unbalanced. Why do you do it all? With his salary, he could pay for a cleaner as his contribution if he doesn't want to do it himself.

It is not even the case in marriage un,ess you uy property as joint tenants. I have bought as tenants in common so I can leave my half to my dc, with dh having a lifetime interest.

He could draw up a will that gives you a lifetime interest in your home but he could change it at any moment. Better to own the house you live in.

Would you consider using your £100k to get a mortgage on a new place with him where you both pay (not necessarily equal amount if you are earning less bc of DS)? That way you are living (and decorating) somewhere you have an ownership stake in and he won't see it as 'his house' that you have no rights to. He can rent out your current home if he wants to keep it. I'm sure there are things about your current place that you don't like but can't change because it's "his".

Otherwise I would try to get a buy to let property and overpay the mortgage so you are building equity. If you can't do that put your deposit money into Stocks and Shares ISA so it builds tax free at similar rate to house prices. And pour money into your pension.

In the meantime, if he is not contributing to cleaning etc. then he needs to pay for a cleaner to come in several times a week.