Help please, ExH has taken all my belongings

[diamondsonthesolesofmysoul]

He changed the locks and refused me access, proceeded to get rid of all my belongings. Lawyer has said there is nothing he can do to help and police say I can't prove I owned it.
Is that really it? Desperately hoping someone here may be able to offer some advice.

Is it your house?

Yes it was.

Whose house is it, were you living there, what possesions, did he tell you before that you need to collect your things or he will dispose of them,. It seems very extreme, do you want to say what led up to this.

We bought the house together and both lived there, married, kids.

It is extreme, he is a very extreme person.

He did not allow me access at all. When I requested my belongings he simply responded by saying those items are not there, I must have taken them.

It's all mine and my kids belongings, toys, clothes, jewellery, just about everything.

If you both own the house he can't stop you getting access. Get a new lawyer. Nonsense they can't do anything. He can't change the locks either.

The lawyer requested a key numerous times. He simply said no. And now says these items are not there and that I must have taken them. Which of course I cannot prove.

Could you get a locksmith to let you in when you know he's not there? Have a male relative or friend with you?

If you still own the house, get a locksmith to change the locks. Go in yourself and look for your stuff, take photos whatever. Give your ex the key. He cannot stop you accessing your own house.

If you wanted to be a total pain you could even move back in.

Unfortunately I look back filled with regret about how this has been handled. I had a right to access for two years, he allowed me in just after this period was up. At which point I saw all mine and kids items had been removed. So now I have no right to entry.

I have signed the house over to him, there was no equity.

I did consider a locksmith at the time however he would have retaliated in the same way I I knew he would get someone to break into my new house.

Am I right in thinking you had access for 2 years but either chose not to go or he refused to let you in. After the 2 years he let you in but everything had gone. So during those 2 years he got rid of everything that belonged to you and the children. Are you and your children safely away from him now. Did you leave him or he threw you out.

Yes, sorry if I'm not being clear. That is exactly right. He found out I was planning to leave and he threw me out so no chance to pack anything. Yes we are now safe and of course I am extremely grateful for that. I do know and value that it's really all that matters.
But it's incredibly difficult to accept how devastating it is to lose everything of sentimental value - and also some items were very high value which he will of course sell.
It's how deceitful and lawless he's been and I seem not to be able to do a thing about it.

I am a bit confused here.

OP you say you've signed the house over to him. So it's his now and not yours.

You also say you had right of access for 2 years - was this granted by the court but your ex wouldn't comply or what? If he would have complied with it but you did nothing to remove the items within that time frame, I think you only have yourself to blame.

OK, Diamond, it was a bit of a cross post and I'm sorry if I came across as harsh - I hadn't seen about his behaviour towards you.

I think you are going to have to accept these things are long gone and you won’t ever be getting them back….you can’t prove that you didn’t get them back …..and you are going to waste time, money and energy that you can use elsewhere…..he’s been a bastard but you can’t do anything about it

It's ok and I appreciate anyone taking the time to comment. I feel like a fool for not being stronger earlier but I was scared of him and with good reason.

You see on here all the time people saying just leave but the reality is just how dangerous it can be to do so

You're safe now, you don't need to contact him you did what was right for you and your children at the time. You can buy new clothes and toys, it was nasty of him to throw everything away but it's done, it's over and you can only look forward now without him..

I know this may seem radical, but drop the rope. Don’t fight it- that’s what he wants. He wants engagement and that is where your power lies.

Just know that he has to spend every minute of every day with an absolute cunt. You should pity him. If you feel the need to say anything to him, let it me that: you pity him, because every moment from now until his dying breath is going to be spent with a cunt.

I do know what it feels like to ‘lose’ things of sentimental value, but I promise with time it becomes easier and the “nice” items which you will buy for yourself in the future will have more profound meaning.

I'm coming back to this thread to ask if anyone can please clarify things for me.

Ex sent solicitors letter stating he had returned specific items (he hadn't).

I went to the property at a pre-arranged time to uplift my things. They were not there, they had all been removed.

My solicitor sent his a letter stating that on the basis my things were not there I didn't want anything and would not be returning.

Divorce papers had the clause removed about me having no claim on my belongings - so no reference to material possessions.

He is now selling on Marketplace the things he stated as being returned to me.

Absolutely any viewpoints welcome on where I stand - thank you.

I’m sorry that I have no words of wisdom but bloody hell, what a bastard he is!
I really hope somebody comes along with knowledge and how to hopefully help you

Thank you I appreciate your words! Yep, also the kids toys - which were bought by me. It's hard to take in.
Anyway - thanks again.

Is it valuable stuff? Can you get someone you know who he hasn't met to go and buy important things back on your behalf?

Do you have any receipts for the things you bought? If they were bought online then you will have the receipts on your online accounts? If you can prove you paid and he can’t then I think you can fight it.

it might be easier walking away though and having nothing to do with him apart from child maintenance.

If he is selling anything of sentimental value, can you get someone who he doesn’t know to buy it back for you. Hugely frustrating I appreciate, but might be nice to have it back still.

Can you report him for theft?