how to retrieve property someone borrowed but won’t return

[clarcam]

i left a designer hand made hat £300 at a friends house. she liked it. but won’t return it and when i call or ring keeps fobbing me off that when she finds it she will return it. This has been going on a long time. when will become theft? how do i pursue it? do i have to go to a police station or dial 999 to report. will they send someone round to make notes ask questions? or do i have to go through the small claims court? would i need a crime ref from police first?
so do i write to the court and will they contact her with a summons? what if she says she never had the hat?

Do you have any evidence you left the hat there and she confirmed you did.

If so then yes you could pursue civil action for the value (assuming she would know it was valuable and should take reasonable care of it and you didn't leave it months before asking)

My sisters job is answering 999 calls. Sometimes she tells me some of the ridiculous calls she's received to 999 that waste time and resources.

I've wondered if she's exaggerating or embellishing stories because they're just SO awfully ridiculous.

This thread kind of proves that no, some people really are that stupid.

I think the answers you are getting are because it is a hat.
If this were a gold necklace, or a lawnmower of the same value, or an expensive child's toy some of the answers would be different.
Before the formal letter, I would get some acknowledgement that she has it, a text or something, then tell her you are going to small claims.

I think you might have to forget about it. You left it there and anything could have happened to it. Her child may have sat on it, the dog chewed it up or she has misplaced it

I had this same issue but over an expensive jacket a friend borrowed. Every time I asked for it back was fobbed off, so ended up going round to her house.. I just was direct & asked for it back, only for her to hand it back rolled in a ball in carrier bag. When I took it out & inspected it in front of her, I noticed a cigarette burn on the front. I ended up asking her to pay for it & she dutifully did in installments. If we had Facebook at the time I might have shamed her, I was that furious.

Personally I think that if someone leaves something at my house, it's really their responsibility to come and fetch it. If I do take it to them, it's because I want to be a good friend and do them a favour. But ultimately it's their property and therefore their responsibility.

If I were you, I'd have gone to hers to fetch the hat as soon as I realised I'd left it there.

BUT, your 'friend' is being strange by fobbing you off. If you'd left it at mine, I'd be keeping it safely aside for you and I'd let you know that you can come and fetch it any time.

It wasn’t borrowed, despite the thread title. OP left it there by mistake, at least she thinks she does. The friend didn’t ask to wear it. The OP could have lost it on the way home, or the friend hasn’t found it yet.

You're splitting hairs.
They don't have the exact scenario for every example.

I'm not. I work in this area and I know if someone reported what the OP has said it would not be for police. The OP forgot to take it with her or lost it on the way home.

If the friend asked to borrow the hat and then didn't return it then your post would be relevant

Why don’t you go to her house?

thanks for the comments

As i said i left it there . she did confirm she had it and kept fobbing me off saying its in ‘storage’ i went around twice her daughter was there and said she didn’t know where it is and her mum’s room is locked! well i know it only had a bolt in inside door no key lock

i only mentioned or asked if i had to dial 999 to involve the police? i had no idea of the procedure to report a theft and certainly would not have rang 999 first.

i been there three times in total asking for it. my friends suggested to just accept the loss and walk away

I would just go round there, sit down, and say I’m not leaving till I get my hat. If she calls the police you can explain why you’re there. If she tries to manhandle you out, you can call the police and say you’re being assaulted.

If this were me and it was my friend I would be calling her with a clear message
”I’m wearing it to a wedding/event next weekend (a deadline) and I need to collect it in the next 2 days - when are you home? ….and I will be round for it at 5 p.m. tomorrow”
I would leave her no margin for delay - and the friend’s answer would tell me all I needed to know.

She is not getting these answers because it is a hat. She is getting these answers because she said she was thinking of calling 999.
Replace hat with gold, lawnmower or kids toy and she would still get the same replies if she said she was thinking of calling 999. And also her thought of writing to a court… total madness.

Police no, small claims, with proof, yes.

seriously write her a formal letter - what have you got to lose?

Sometimes the threat of litigation is enough to make people buck up.

It could be that she's lost it or destroyed it but at least you'll find out.

not helpful

Firstly, this is not a police matter.
You could send a formal letter which may or may not get a reaction.

With small claims the burden falls on you to prove that she has the hat. She can always claim that she was thinking of a different hat etc. The fact that you left it behind complicates things.

@HappierTimesAhead I imagine that the trilby (SUCH a good word) is fashioned out of a fuchsia pink felt, the feather is a large peacock one.

Yes, still a civil matter.

If you want to pursue it, it's through the small claims court.

My guess it it's been damaged or lost, and what you do next depends on how important the friend is to you.

Surley you realised as soon as you "left" it that you had. Why didn't you go straight back? I'm not entirely sure it's reasonable to expect a friend to keep something safe in her home if you cba to go and collect it.

Find the Dyson air wrap thread - the poster finally got it back

I listened to” it’s a fair cop” an ex policeman turned comedian on bbc radio, funny he mentioned this type of incident today. He said you need to issue a deadline ie return by Sunday,if not I will report as theft. Then Monday report at police station , don’t be put of for wasting police resources you are not !!!! The police will schedule a call /visit it usually resolves it quickly

ZOMBIE THREAD

This thread is over a year old

The police won’t have time for this. Turn up at your friends house and say nicely that you love that hat and need it back so please can you help her look for it - now. If she’s refuses, go round another time. If she still has the hat, she may return it to make you stop.

Pack a lunch and take a book and go round till she gets it .