how to retrieve property someone borrowed but won’t return

[clarcam]

i left a designer hand made hat £300 at a friends house. she liked it. but won’t return it and when i call or ring keeps fobbing me off that when she finds it she will return it. This has been going on a long time. when will become theft? how do i pursue it? do i have to go to a police station or dial 999 to report. will they send someone round to make notes ask questions? or do i have to go through the small claims court? would i need a crime ref from police first?
so do i write to the court and will they contact her with a summons? what if she says she never had the hat?

However unlikely it might sound to you I think she’s sold it, OP. You’re not getting it back. I’d forget the hat and write off the friendship too.

You lost it, claim on your household insurance or write it off.

In my head its a big padded velvet headband with a flat 1980’s style bow on top.

If I had a designer hat that’s what I’d have 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you and she are on some type of social media post your dilemma on there. Getting some of your friends in common to post answers might be the clue to get her to respond. Especially if you have a photo of this hat that you can post.

Even if she agrees to return it of which I don't think she will . I bet she destroys it as she'd rather have no hat than give it back to you.
You're not seeing that hat again.
What does she say when you ask? You say " fobs off " tell her you'll come and help find it with her as you need it for a special occasion

Your thread title says she borrowed it.

It would be 101 for police not 999 but I think you know that! But it is not a police matter. You think you left it there by mistake, she said she will return it if she finds it. It is civil but you will not be able to prove she has it.

999

For heaven's sake it's a hat.

Just knock on her door and refuse to leave until you've got it.

Have you got a mutual friend that can help you retrieve your hat?

Would you be trying to sue the train company if you’d left it on the 8.15 from Paddington? I can’t see it’s very much different. If you didn’t go back to collect your lost property then you can’t really have wanted it very much.

'Hello, Police, Fire or Ambulance?'
'I left my hat at my friend's house and she won't give it back'

Good luck with that one!

Send her a copy of this book and an SAE.
www.amazon.co.uk/I-Want-My-Hat-Back/dp/1406338532

999?????

Dear Godssss

Please do NOT call 999 over a bloody hat!

999 is for EMERGENCIES life or death emergencies for the love of God, OP. Give your head a shake

This is so annoying OP. Do you have anything in writing from her where she acknowledges she has it? Have you checked any platforms to see if she's sold it? I

Op, out of curiosity, you say you left the hat there, but she says if she finds it she will let you know.

is if at all feasible you didn’t leave the hat there, you left it someplace else?

it doesn’t appear she’s ever said the hat is there. Could you have left it on public transport , dropped it, without noticing, left it in a taxi, or something like that?

You say you have called her about it. Have you actually knocked in the door and said,'I'll help you look, as I really need it for a wedding/function this weekend' ?
It's easy to fob someone off on the phone, not so easy to their face!

This is a civil dispute, not a police matter. The police won't get involved.

From what you have written, I think your biggest problem is proving that she has the hat. You say you realised you had left it there when you got home and that she says she will return it when she finds it. As a previous poster says, this raises the possibility that you left the hat somewhere else. If this goes to court, you don't have to prove beyond doubt that you left the hat there, but you do have to show that, on the balance of probabilities, your friend has the hat. If, say, you travelled home by public transport (bus, train, taxi or similar), the court may well conclude that the balance of probabilities is that you mislaid it on the way home rather than leaving it at your friend's.

If you want to go down the legal route, this would be a small claim. Your first step would be to write her a letter before action setting out the facts, saying what you want (your hat back or the price of a replacement), giving her a reasonable time to comply (28 days is normal) and stating that you anticipate taking legal action without further notice if she does not respond by the deadline. Once the deadline has passed, you can then start a claim. You do so by filling in the appropriate form and sending it to the court with the required fee.

You’ll get a better outcome by popping round with mutual friends and asking for it. Social pressure is what you need not the police.

This can’t be real! 999 is for emergencies.

Just go round her house and ask for it. I don’t understand why you haven’t just said when is it a good time for me to come and collect it this weekend.

This is what the police say.

Learn from it, disown her as a friend. Block, delete.

This.
small claims court.

Ask her if she's lost the hat. To her face. If she says no say you'll be round to get it next weekend as you need it back. Then go and get it. If she can't give you the hat then BLAST her on facebook

Or go on judge judy

It's theft, contact the police.

You sound like an utter spoilt princess. The fact you even considered ringing 999 over this just shows how utterly out of touch with reality you are.

I hope she keeps your hat!