Adult Step child inheritance

[Maleficentthemagnificent]

DH and I have two children. He has a daughter from a previous marriage. I don't really have a relationship with her, in fact she isn't overly pleasant to me or her df. She was older so was never dependant on me in any way.
I have quite wealthy parents. My parents and I do not want their money being split with SD when I inherit it and then pass on. DH parents may leave him something but he probably won't be worth as much as me when he passes on. His assets will go between our DC and his DD.
Does this sound do able? I think we are essentially leaving each other nothing if we go down this route. Him wanting her and our DC to inherit from him and me wanting only our DC to inherit from me. Neither of us has life insurance at the moment but maybe that's also something we need to address. What are your experiences of this sort of thing? Interested to hest from anyone of a legal background or people who've done similar.

You need ironclad wills and make sure the trusts are provisionally in place if something happens to you before your children are of age. I would recommend at least some term joint life assurance so you/your dh get something if you die young

We imagine that we are making our will for use at some time in the far distant future - 30, 40, 50 or even 60 years hence, depending on our age.

But the reality is that we need to make our wills as if we might not last the next 5 years, and then review periodically.

Wth young children, I would want Life Insurance policies, ideally. make sure that you would each be OK to care for your children until they are independent.

I would also want to leave my assets direct to my children especially when I am younger, because I have seen so many men move on fast and re-marry. Often a younger woman - and then leave everything to her. Who does not of course, ever leave anything to her DH's children / her step children. Honestly I have seen it time and time again. Even when all the money and assets had come from the first wife's parents. My friend, their grandchild, got not a bean. Not even much loved personal momentos. No one ever thinks their DH will do this....but by inattentiveness or what ever, they do.

So I would probably leave my share of the house to my DC but with a life interest for DH until ...the kids were 25, or he remarried or until he died...a time of your choosing. Also make him the beneficiary of my pension if he would need it to raise the kids (in addition to the life insurance policy) but then later, once the kids were 18, make them the beneficiary of my Will.

We live in another country where the law is standard here. Basically your family wealth is pooled, but upon the death of both parents the estate would be split - basically in your case, your biological children would receive a whole share and a step child a half share. In effect, divide your estate into five and your children get 2/5ths each and the SD 1/5th. On the basis that she will inherit (potentially) from her other biological parent too.

Perhaps that could work?

Thanks everyone for your input. We do both have death in service at work with each other as the beneficiary so that's something until we sort out any further details. If we were to die right now I'd be concerned about my grandmother's money but it isn't vast amounts. We will get it sorted ASAP though. Although at the moment anything my DH has would go to me, I would far rather have an official document than have my SD turn up demanding anything - assuming I am the surviving spouse that is.

When your parents leave their money to you, it's up to you what you do with it. You could give it all to the local cat's home!

See I don’t consider it “equal”

dh and his ex had a house and assets. These are all now in ex’s name.

i have a house and assets in my name, from before the marriage.

roughly the same amounts for me and his ex.

if dh and I left all “our” (my) assets equally, my children get 25% of my estate. His children get 25% of my estate and 50% of his, via his ex’s.

to me that isn’t equal. So my assets will go to my children, his ex’s to his. All children will get roughly the same amount- about 250k each on current house values. If we split equally between 4 mine would get 125k and his 375k.

dh will have a life interest in my house so he can live here as long as he wants.

This and it’s not enough to say oh we have some death in service benefit. You need to look at what you’d need if one of you died. Typically the answer is to pay off the mortgage - thats what we have. We worked out each of us could get by on our income and pay childcare and bring up the kids if the mortgage was paid. So life insurance is set at the mortgage level. If we ever make inroads on the mortgage we can reduce the life insurance.

@Codlingmoths DH (being a higher earner) death in service is enough for me to buy a house with almost no mortgage. So I kind of do think it would be enough

IF you are married and a proper financial order is in place for previous divorces then technically if there is no will the money goes to the other partner and then then leave it to who they want to.

You need both a will and planning advice from a solicitor specialising in this area so that the children are treated how you want them to be.

This is easy to deal with a life interest trust for each other in your Wills so the survivor can live in any property for their lifetime and receive an income from investments. Then on second death it is left how you specify. Ie you would specify life interest to Your husband then to your 2 children. He would specify life interest to you then his 3 children. If you want the trusts can also be flexible so the trustees can decide to advance capital to beneficiaries (ie your children) if they feel appropriate so they could have some inheritance before his death. Choice of trustees is important you can leave a letter of wishes you trust them to follow to specify when children should get something.

i know you say rented property atm but if you owned one in the future this would need to be as tenants in common not joint tenants to pass into the trust.

if you inherit from your parents before you die then That inheritance will form part of your estate and pass into the trust. If you died before you parents then your husband would not receive any inheritance from them unless they have expressly stated this in their will. It’s usual to leave a substitute gift to children in a will. You should check with them.

also how old are your children? You might want to consider trusts for them also.

you need to see a STEP qualified solicitor specialising in wills. Not a general solicitor who dabbles. Not a will writer they are not trained regulated or insured in the same way.