Adult Step child inheritance

[Maleficentthemagnificent]

DH and I have two children. He has a daughter from a previous marriage. I don't really have a relationship with her, in fact she isn't overly pleasant to me or her df. She was older so was never dependant on me in any way.
I have quite wealthy parents. My parents and I do not want their money being split with SD when I inherit it and then pass on. DH parents may leave him something but he probably won't be worth as much as me when he passes on. His assets will go between our DC and his DD.
Does this sound do able? I think we are essentially leaving each other nothing if we go down this route. Him wanting her and our DC to inherit from him and me wanting only our DC to inherit from me. Neither of us has life insurance at the moment but maybe that's also something we need to address. What are your experiences of this sort of thing? Interested to hest from anyone of a legal background or people who've done similar.

@bitjel "I looked at what would happen if we die without wills and it looks like (if DH goes first) half of DH's would go to me whilst the remaining half would be split between the 2 kids."

It's slightly different to that. If you're married to him then you get the first £322,000 of the estate and then everything above £322k is split 50/50 between you and the children.

So, let's say DH's estate is worth £422k. The first £322k goes to you and the remaining 422k - 322k = £100k is split between you and the children. So, in this case, you would get 322k + 50k = £372k and the children would split £50k between them.

We rent at the moment. We don't have much. Some savings but they're pretty much all in my name from a previous inheritance via my grandmother. I guess if I die without a will he will get all of it as its well under 322k. That means my kids would have to split that with their half sister when he then died. This is what I don't want to happen. Even to my very paltry amount I currently have.

Similar situation here; I will inherit a lot more than DH, he has kids from previous marriage. They will not inherit from me. It’s fairly easily sorted with lawyer/wills.

I don't understand why you're not willing to speak to a solicitor. As PP have said, it's relatively easy for you to specify what you want, and a solicitor will help with how to achieve that, such as use of trusts. It's really not that complicated to do. The complicated bit is your "D"H not making provision for you...

We are going to a solicitor I just like to know what I'm dealing with first. So I can consider the options before paying to see someone and not knowing if they're giving all or the best options

I didnt know this either. Good to know

This needs sorting asap. My uncle died with out a will and his new wife inherited the lot.

She sold the house my uncle and his first wife ( she passed away) had which had generational money in it. She then gave her three kids deposits for a house and bought her self a flat. Leaving my two cousins with nothing. It’s caused so much bitterness and anger with in my family. My cousin is still having counselling over it.

Why don’t you have a lot if you come from very wealthy parents?

Thanks to all the deaths of parents amongst myself and my friends please ensure you will is written by a solicitor. Ask the solicitor questions and get them to explain everything to you even though the majority of information on this thread is correct.

Be aware that if you or your DH outlive each other as you are married if you leave each other out of each other's wills and don't leave them your pension/ have life insurance with them as a beneficiary, then the other spouse could contest it as you have to provide for them.

Also don't even think of writing mirror wills and if you move to another country in the UK check the local laws to ensure your wills are still valid.

@Lola2024 That's their money not mine and they're still alive. Never had anything handed to me on a plate. Little bits of help here and there but mostly they've squirreled and we've at times struggled

My husband and I have two children together and he also has a much older son.

My will leaves everything to my two children. I am not leaving anything to my stepson. I am not leaving anything to my husband except a life interest in my half of the house (we severed our joint tenancy and are now tenants in common). We are both retired. He has a good occupational pension, a state pension and savings. He doesn't need more money.

My husband's will leaves me a life interest in his half of the house. It also leaves me a small amount of money to reflect the fact that my occupational pension is smaller than husband and I don't yet qualify for a state pension. The rest is divided between his three children.

You both need life insurance, which is the only way at present you’ll be in a position to provide for the other in the event one of you dies. Your will needs to stipulate that the savings you have from your grandmother should pass to your two children. When / if you do buy property, buy as tenants in common with earmarked shares based on the value of your respective contributions rather than joint tenants; give each other a life interest; after which your share is split in two and his in three. It’s actually a pretty straightforward sort of will, not that unusual, and a decent solicitor can easily advise.

If you don’t have much money and are renting currently, and neither of you have actually had an inheritance yet, it’s not clear what provision (beyond life insurance) you expect DH to make for you right now. He can’t leave you money or assets he doesn’t have yet or even know that he’ll receive.

Your parents need to set up a trust that you have a life interest in, which passes to your children, but doesn't include you DH's daughter.

Then you can leave everything to your DC. Will your DH need your estate if you die before him? Apart from shared assets like a house, of course?

I don’t understand parents like this. I see my savings and assets as a portion in which my children factor accordingly. We are downsizing to split the equity in the house before we die.

Unfortunately, after reading your post it seems that you are perpetuating your DP’s miserly trait with your DH and SD.

The way you say you would share if it wasn’t for ‘her’ is really quite telling of just how much the SD has had to endure.

Make sure you do a will- it needs to be in writing. Don't trust the remaining spouse to "do the right thing."

When my aunt died her money was passed on to her second "D"H. He was unemployed and penniless when they married. She had worked full time her whole life and owned her own house outright and had inherited from her parents so any assets they had were hers.

They had talked about what would happen if she died first and he promised to make sure her DCs would get their share. When she died, he changed his will leaving everything to his son. He claimed that the son would make sure they got their share.

When the DH died his son refused to share and my cousins got nothing. Horrid little weasel.

Us too
We have 4
1 together and 3 from before combined
We did consider my half 2 ways
And his half 3 ways
But decided the only fair way was a equal splint
However they all grew up together and love each other

She's not had to endure anything. She didn't want to be involved with a "new family" and that's her choice as she wasn't a child when we married. I just don't see why someone who doesn't want to know me should benefit from my death. I actually can't see why that's so awful.

If your parents left you money you have it in your will that X goes to your kids. If you pre-decease your parents they should have that in their will that it goes directly towards your kids (held in trust until they are whatever age, and they have to appoint an administrator which could be a lawyer - it furdnt have to be your husband). Your husband only gets the house (if you jointly own it). Your personal effects (ie cash) don't go to your husband as far as I'm aware. Keep it in a separate account in your name.
But with all estate planning - consult the appropriate solicitor.

It’s so sad such wealthy parents have left you to struggle and you have not been able to reach financial independence on your own merit in your own adult life.

How wealthy are your parents? Care fees are extortionate now. Are you sure they are wealthy enough to leave anything considering the possible cost of care in the future?

I say this from a point that neither my DH or I will inherit anything. This is fine for us as we have been able to retire in our fifties mortgage free. Nothing extravagant just the normal adult responsibility of managing our finances.

Off topic, but I honestly think sorting out life insurance is the most pressing concern you have right now. Your inheritances could be decades away and depending on how parents’ health in older age pans out, in the end there may be little to inherit anyway: whereas right now you’re only renting your home, have little money, and you say you’d be a bit stuffed if DH died without his salary. You need to take care of that.

@Maleficentthemagnificent we just had wills drawn up - I have SC and no children and whilst, in the end, we agreed that everything would firstly go to the other and then be divided between chosen beneficiaries equally, our solicitor did tell us that we could have a form of will which meant that if I'd said my half to the local cat's home and DH half to kids, even if I died first, he would be bound by that. I'm afraid I can't remember what it was called but it is possible - ask your solicitor about it.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with your point of view on this, @Maleficentthemagnificent . You know your DH's daughter & her attitude to you & her father far better than some randoms on the internet!

The fact that your savings are from an inheritance from your grandmother, makes it all the more reasonable that it is passed down your immediate line.

And yes, this SD wasn't a child when you met your partner, and has never wanted anything to do with you or to be part of your family, so I'm entirely bemused by anyone thinking that you're unreasonable

Make a will and specify exactly what you want.

You can also do a deed of variance in favour of your children if your parents leave you a lot of money. Keep some, give them some. Could depend on their ages / needs at the time, your state of health etc. That would avoid some death duties too.

Completely agree.

Also op, if you want to leave something to each other (without it complicating the terms of the will) beneficiaries of insurance/pensions are not included.

This also means these can be sorted out before the wills are