Am i stupid wanting a trust will rather than a mirror will?

[ssd]

We earn low wages, haven't been abroad for 6 years. Im considering a more indepth will which i think costs about £1000.
And looking at it objectively, theres no need. I worry about money and the future and dont want my kids renting forever. Ds pays a fortune in rent right now. I want them buying property but i know these days its a million times harder than it was for me in the 90s.

Im married, straightforward and simple, 2 kids. I know if i died (and i have health anxiety which plays into this) my dh would find someone else and remarry without it being a big fuss. Hes a really nice person and im sure he'd meet someone similar. But probably a bit younger than him. With younger kids. Which id be all for as i want him to be happy.

But...if he dies first she gets everything. Everything I've scrimped and saved for. I do all the finances here, dh has no clue. So she gets everything and its up to her what my kids get.

Which absolutely kills me. If they dont get anything from us they are fecked. So this small house/any savings would go to another family.

Do other people worry about this when you're both healthy and this is all pie in the sky stuff??

Am i being daft? Its not that i dont trust dh, but like i said hes a nice guy who doesn't worry or think about money like i do and wouldn't realise what getting remarried means legally with regards our kids and any inheritance.

Its all driving me nuts.

Can anyone talk to me. Please.

Hi there.

You're not at all stupid.
When we made our wills I outlined this to the solicitor and he more or less told me that I couldn't predict the future.

I reluctantly signed off on it.

I've now got better advice and am moving to address it.

The peace of mind is going to be money well spent.

Good luck!

No you are not daft I feel the same. I have mirror will. I did raise the issue with dh but he says inheritance tax allowances and mirror is the norm for a simple family structure like ours. I agree but partly do not trust what could happen if I were to die. Only option would be to secretly make a newer Will to go to dc only for my half, we have a reasonably big estate. I’ve never told anyone this worry, it’s a difficult one!

You need an interest in possession trust written into the will (and sever the tenancy on your home if you own, to take you from the default of joint tenants to tenants in common).

you are being very sensible. I would turn in my urn if some other woman came along and spent all my hard earned frugal living on herself/other people.

I would personally leave the house to my spouse, my worry is my money,, my half totals more than the house is worth anyway.

Thanks all. I dont feel so alone.
When i say ive scrimped and saved i really mean it. We've never had an inheritance and never will. Our mortgage is paid off as i put every spare penny into it over the years. We dont have debt. I shop around for good deals, constantly. I dont buy what we cant afford. We have 1 clapped out but reliable car for 4 drivers. Ive got 1 pair of shoes for work but we help our kids as much as possible. They are doing great and will earn more than us, easily. But for them to get on the property ladder will be bloody hard. So when we go, they need our money, whatever is left. The thought of another woman's kids getting it makes me frantic. I cant predict the future but i know dh. Hes just a nice decent guy who works away and lives for his family. He'd remarry and live happily. Without realising what was happening.
So i need this will for peace of mind.

We have mirror wills and our solicitor suggested a different option to DH as I am a
lot younger. Frankly I would be deeply insulted if DH had done that. Under no circumstances will I leave our home to a potential new DH or stepchildren. I would never takr anything away from my DC. And my DH knows this and trusts me. Do you trust your DH so little?

@ssd you've given me a kick up the arse to sort my own will out. It's so hard to know where to go for proper advice. You're absolutely not daft at all. Take proper advice, make sure it reflects what you want to happen.

I did this last year. Like you my DH is nice and I dont think would cope on his own so would remarry leaving DD vulnerable to inheriting nothing. We are Tenants in common as bought before marrying so it was easy to do.

He is yet to change his will, not a priority for him apparently, so I feel fully justified in changing mine.

This is what dh said to me, he won’t remarry, gf maybe but that’s what he said. He trusts me so I should trust him. But somehow that does not cut it with me.

He also said, dc could have a spouse that takes half after they inherit- good point!!

Spouses get x 2 325k allowance plus x 2 175k allowance with mirror so that equals 1 million

@SEE123 , there's a great mnetter who owns marlow wills and is very helpful, i contacted her but unfortunately im in Scotland and the laws are different to England so she couldn't help me. If you are in England id definitely get in touch with marlow wills.

I am redoing my will this year.

I love my DH and he is a nice person (but doesnt like admin.) And bit of a catch so i can easily see him remarrying.

My £££ is going to my kids... not some women who i ineffectually attempt to haunt from the other side 😅

Can’t your will stipulate that you both leave everything to each other, but if the remaining spouse marries, on death the money goes to your children . It would be complicated however, if the remaining spouse has children with the new partner!

I stupidly haven’t done a will yet but intend to do so and safeguard my children’s inheritance. My parents separated and both remarried and I’d be very shocked if I ever receive an inheritance if my birth parents die before their spouses. They will then likely change their will to leave it to their own children only, rather than split as per the current will.

We've got a property trust for our kids. Everything else goes to each other but our respective halves of our home are protected in trust for the kids whenever the other parent should pass

I would Want everyone to be happy if i snuff it early. Dh is such a nice easy going guy, lm sure he'd meet someone lovely. I doubt theyd have kids, hes over 60 andnothughhefner. And im sure his new wife would do the right thing if he goes first....but im not 100% sure what would happen once she goes and i dont like uncertainty.

I like knowing where everything stands.

Can you remember how much it cost @TakeOnFlea

Its the costs that have stopped me so far

You don’t know what the future may hold. disinheriting the kids doesn’t even have to happen deliberately. If DH remarried after your death and doesn’t make a new Will then new wife will be sole or main (depending on values) beneficiary of his estate under the intestacy rules. Marriage revokes any previous will that he may have made (for example one made at the same time as you) to leave to your kids. Second wife dies, leaves to her own kids. Your kids have no claim against her estate as not a class entitled to claim under IPFDA1975. You have no control over any of this as you died first. also consider them remarrying when they are older - a predatory marriage would have the same effect.

OP your plan for a ‘life interest trust’ is sensible and frequently carried out as part of estate planning. It is also ringfencing the funds from being taken into account for care fee assessment and is not deprevation of assets (as they were your assets gifted to the trust not his own).

Hi, not a lawyer, but I believe in Scotland your kids are entitled to a third of your estate (maybe excluding your house). I have similar worries to you, and we’re going to re-do our wills when we’re home in the summer. Please let me know how you get on and what your lawyer advises.

You can have mirror wills and a trust. What we own jointly (house etc) goes into the trust when one of us dies and the other one lives in it until they die. Then the children sort out the trust. What we own separately is inherited by the other one but if the survivor re-marries the new spouse can't get the house and anything jointly owned.

I think you’re sensible.
We have trust wills - pushed for by me.
If I went first, I know DH would probably move on and eventually get into another relationship. I want everything I’ve worked for to go to my children - not risk it going to another woman.
DH also has two adult children from a previous relationship and when discussing wills with him for the first time he was shocked and appalled that I didn’t want to split my half of things with his children.

Once you’re gone you can’t do anything about it so have the conversation and take care of it now, get good advice and get the will written up to reflect your wishes.

Yes, it was £250 for our wills (total, not each) and £275 for the property trust. We also pay £20 per year for document storage and free will updates should we need them.

Have used that once but the document storage is great. You can put anything in there, I have a list of all my accounts, policies, contracts etc and contact details for those companies. If I happen to croak it then whoever sorts out my affairs has a handy list of people to contact including policy numbers at the ready.

Don't forget to protect yourself while you're alive too! LPA is £82 each for health and finance and is simple to do yourself as long as you take your time with it

I've sadly known many cases of spouses not following their deceased partner's wishes in a mirror will. Many times the money all goes to a new partner, kids disinherited etc. I would do what you need to do to ensure your money goes exactly where you want it.

Is your DH going to want the same protection for your children in case he dies first and you remarry? Or do you think he trusts you to take care of them?