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Original poster

NRP doesn't agree with primary school offer and has made own application

38 replies

Dollenganger333 · 17/04/2024 18:56

My ex lives 30 minutes away from me and has our daughter for one night a week. When we applied for schools, he was adamant that he wanted dd to go to a village school. But I don't live in a village!

I applied for the 'good' school which is a 5-10 minute walk for us. I would not have to drive. Ex didn't have a problem at the time. But now that she's been offered a place at this school, he's saying he doesn't want her to go there and will oppose it.

My daughter is likely to be on the spectrum (has no learning difficulties) but nursery has said that they think she'll cope in mainstream. The nursery manager and her key worker both feel that the school offered is ideal for dd and they have been to meetings there about other children who need planning for SEN. The Ofsted mentions bespoke provision for SEN.

Today, ex has informed me that he has made a late application for dd to go to the village school right near his house. This school is oversubscribed and would mean a 30 minute drive every day for me to take her there.

I am not sure if he has lied and said that dd lives with him. He has spent the last year brow beating me to move to this village so that she could go to this school. I can't afford to live there - it's about £500 more a month in rent for the average house.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm assuming he'd need to go to court about this which is stress I don't need.

OP posts:
kiwiane · 17/04/2024 18:58

Just call the school and explain she has a place near where she lives! Don’t let his craziness get to you.

Original poster
Dollenganger333 · 17/04/2024 19:05

Wouldn't the council be dealing with his application and not the school?

OP posts:
Icanseethebeach · 17/04/2024 19:08

If the school is oversubscribed and he has just applied then she won’t get in anyway.

prh47bridge · 17/04/2024 19:12

As the previous poster says, if the school is oversubscribed all that will happen is that she will go on the waiting list.

Be clear to the LA that you do not agree with his application. He needs to go to court to get a specific issue order if he wants to pursue this. I don't rate his chances.

PatriciaHolm · 17/04/2024 19:14

Your daughter's application has to come from your address, as that is her permanent primary residence.

I would call the LA and explain; they shouldn't accept an application from his address.

If he wants to change her school, he would have to take the issue to court.

chocmatcha · 17/04/2024 19:16

Speak to the local authority.

What a dick. Is he planning on looking after her every school day?

endofthelinefinally · 17/04/2024 19:17

Just let the second school know that she lives with you and has a place at her nearest school already.
Don't bother telling him. He has committed fraud by pretending that she lives mainly at his address.
Schools get very cross about this kind of nonsense.

Livinghappy · 17/04/2024 19:21

Di you claim child benefit? Is there a formal agreement for child access? Does he pay CMS?

Luckydog7 · 17/04/2024 19:24

Have you accepted the offer at your preferred school? I would do so asap (easily done online in 2 minutes) then yes contact the local authority and explain the situation.

endofthelinefinally · 17/04/2024 19:26

Luckydog7 · 17/04/2024 19:24

Have you accepted the offer at your preferred school? I would do so asap (easily done online in 2 minutes) then yes contact the local authority and explain the situation.

Gosh yes! Accept your offer asap.

Original poster
Dollenganger333 · 17/04/2024 19:37

Livinghappy · 17/04/2024 19:21

Di you claim child benefit? Is there a formal agreement for child access? Does he pay CMS?

Yes he pays maintenance and I get CB. No formal contact arrangement.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dollenganger333 · 17/04/2024 19:38

Luckydog7 · 17/04/2024 19:24

Have you accepted the offer at your preferred school? I would do so asap (easily done online in 2 minutes) then yes contact the local authority and explain the situation.

Yes I've accepted it, with a note saying that ex has now made his own application which I'm not in agreement with.

OP posts:
Notamum12345577 · 17/04/2024 19:39

I would assume if he is determined it will go to court

Doyoumind · 17/04/2024 19:46

Notamum12345577 · 17/04/2024 19:39

I would assume if he is determined it will go to court

He can try and take it to court but he's unlikely to secure a place in the first instance given he won't meet the criteria and DD has a place already, and highly unlikely to get his way in court even if he does.

Original poster
Dollenganger333 · 17/04/2024 20:11

I think it would be unusual for a judge to order a parent to drive a child 30 minutes to school every day, when the alternative is a school that we can walk to every day and which has a great reputation for SEN and inclusivity.

This school has been impossible to get into until this year because it's a low birth rate year.

OP posts:
HavfrueDenizKisi · 17/04/2024 20:17

Yes the judge is extremely unlikely to find on your ex's favour. I highly doubt he will even take it all the way to court.

However I would head him off by making your situation clear at the current school offered, the school your ex is trying for and the LA. But no need to tell him you're doing this. Keep all records of correspondence and anything your ex sends you.

Dippydinosaurus · 17/04/2024 20:22

Phone the school admissions team at his LA and advise them you've already accepted a school placement - make sure you've accepted it you have to do this within 2 weeks if you haven't already done so. Also advise you are the main carer 6 out of 7 days

Houseinawood · 17/04/2024 20:25

Everything in writing to the school and the LA

  1. I am the resident parent
  2. My House is her permanent full time residency
  3. father has contact once a week
  4. I am accepting this place to enable local friends etc
  5. Please keep me updated but I have custody and I want x to go to y school and have accepted on her behalf
NotEnoughRoom · 17/04/2024 20:26

You should check the rules for your local authority but in most cases where both parents make separate applications, the parent in receipt of child benefit is deemed the primary parent, so their application / choice will take precedence

itsgettingweird · 17/04/2024 20:27

You've applied from your address.

She's been offered a school place based on them having that as her place of residence.

If (and it's a big if) the LA offer her a different school based on no evidence from her father then they are in the wrong and you can challenge it.

You don't have to take her to a different school daily because he tries to live her.

Original poster
Dollenganger333 · 17/04/2024 20:40

Thank you all for your advice. I will write some emails tomorrow. He's a very controlling person, generally. Before dd was born, he was arguing with the consultant in the hospital who was saying she needed to be induced.

OP posts:
Wooloohooloo · 17/04/2024 21:24

Who'll be doing the school run/after school care?

Original poster
Dollenganger333 · 17/04/2024 21:48

Wooloohooloo · 17/04/2024 21:24

Who'll be doing the school run/after school care?

Me, without exception. He has a busy job which requires him to travel up and down the country almost every week and even sleep away from home often.

OP posts:
GenderBlender · 18/04/2024 18:44

Hmmm, do you think he may also be on the spectrum. Very very odd from him.

Another2Cats · 18/04/2024 19:04

Livinghappy · 17/04/2024 19:21

Di you claim child benefit? Is there a formal agreement for child access? Does he pay CMS?

I'm sorry, but can you explain the relevance of these questions to this situation, apart from maybe the one about child benefit?