Hi all 😊
Seeking advice on the chances of 50/50 custody.Â
My ex parter was present for the beginning of the pregnancy but later decided that travelling was his main priority and left.Â
He has contributed nothing financially since leaving and I can’t see him doing so until after the baby is born as he has took unpaid leave to travel.Â
There has been minimal contact but he is insistent on 50/50 custody from birth.Â
I want him to be present in our child’s life but I do not wish to give 50/50 custody due to his absence and lack of contribution financially.Â
I do not believe that after the baby is born he will change his ways and I believe he will continue to prioritise drugs, drinking and partying and I do not wish for my child to experience this instability (to summarise my reasoning)Â
On a personal level the thought of giving 50/50 custody and missing out on time with my baby from birth breaks my heart. I’m confused and angry as to why he thinks he can just be absent, leaving me to pick up the pieces yet expect equal rights?
Has anyone been through something similar or can offer some advice on the chances of him getting 50/50 custody?Â
Please no questioning on why I’m having a baby with this man, it was unplanned and what’s done is done. It was a long term on and off relationship that has finally come to an end. I am very excited for my baby but my main concern  is stability for my child and I don’t believe 50/50 custody would help.Â
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Legal matters
Chances of 50/50 custody ?
Beebop669 · 09/04/2024 20:48
Fluffywigg · 09/04/2024 21:07
Don’t put his name on the birth certificate then he won’t have parental responsibility. I assume that will be the end of that for a few years.
TheCheekyKoala · 09/04/2024 21:18
He will get 50/50 eventually…. At 1 I would imagine if he pushes but not as a newborn.
I’m unsure why you currently need lots of contact though… you are not together and there’s no need for him to keep contacting you.
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Fiddlerdragon · 09/04/2024 21:33
Why will he get 50/50 eventually? Only 35% of fathers seeking 50/50 custody get awarded it, and in the majority of those it’s because the children are older and are asking to spend more time with their dad. It’s not as common as people make out on here. Children generally need a primary caregiver and it’s about meeting the needs of the children, and dads already showing that the baby is not a priority
TheCheekyKoala · 09/04/2024 21:18
He will get 50/50 eventually…. At 1 I would imagine if he pushes but not as a newborn.
I’m unsure why you currently need lots of contact though… you are not together and there’s no need for him to keep contacting you.
Karensalright · 09/04/2024 21:52
@Nicetobenice67 In an ideal world this would be true, but for the fact this gives even the most awful of men rights, so that they can continue to abuse via a child, or avoid child maintenance. These bad men may go on to refuse to return a small child, or behave as a poster upstream described.
Where a mother as she has set out has safeguarding concerns, not putting a name on a birth certificate is a way of protecting an infant. So you should consider that, not blame a worried mother.
I would go as far as to say men should not have equal status of a child’s interests he needs to earn them.
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Ilovethewild · 09/04/2024 21:14
Op, it is not usual practice for 50/50 for a baby.
it would be appropriate for you both to agree regular contact at ur home initially as baby so young, overnights wouldn’t be usual before 2yrs old, and would be dependent on his having space, appropriate items and showed ability to care for the child.
he will need to build his relationship with child.
is this likely?
don’t deny the child his family history, but don’t give legal rights to a waste of space
Ladybir · 09/04/2024 21:38
Will he get 50/50 from day 1? Unlikely
Should him 'not contributing anything financially' have any nearing on anything? Absolutely not, he has no responsibility to pay anything for you. He has a duty towards his child when born but not you while pregnant
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