Help Neighbour Threatening Me and My Children Constantly

[Honeybee99]

Long time poster name changed, I need some wise words and legal guidance.
I moved a year ago with my two young daughters. An elderly man had lived their for the previous 40 years. We are out of the house 7-6pm and we are not loud.

I needed a party wall agreement, the neighbour a man was unwilling so I paid a party wall agreement company who managed the process. The company chap remarked that he was surprised they were being used as there was so little done. My neighbour made up things like a vase fell because of the noise?!! He complained to the council but to no avail as we had done nothing. We don't use the lovely garden as I need to get it done, its just mud. Because I wanted good relations I sent the builder to speak to the neighbour about his gripes and we agreed to pay half each, I did not get involved in the discussion and paid (July 2023) the builder contacted me in December and said my neighbour did not pay.

This morning I received this :
Front Fence Broken - caused by building material constantly propped up against. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE MEANS
2. Front of house - damaged/stained paintwork caused by the scaffolding erected by the builder using our house as support without our permission??
3. Front of house - cracks and distortion to render. ?????
4. Chimney - A signification amount of rubble came down the chimney during building work while the builder was using prohibited machinery. We would normally use it during the winter to supplement our heating but have not done so since building work started as we are no longer sure if it is safe to use.
5. The hole made in the loft party wall by the builder was never fixed.
10. Roof - requires a complete overhaul to fix damage caused by the builder.
11. Internal - Noticed cracking around the lintel close to the party wall.
I have also been asked for a contribution to the cost of repairs which I have not paid.

My expectation is that:
All the damage to my home is fixed at no cost to me.
All work is carried out by specialist contractors.

I am broken he refuses to speak with me (sent via party wall company).
PLEASE HELP WHAT DO I DO?
CAN I REQUEST HE LEAVES ME ALONE?

Ok so his house was damaged and yoh agreed to pay 50/50 to repair, and now he’s saying you should pay all of it, and there is more damage?

What does the covering email from the party wall company say? They must have added their own comments or recommendations as to next steps when they forwarded your neighbour’s list of damage on to you.

Threatening me now for finances and I don't know how to show he is lying

In simple terms, what he is saying is the builder damaged his property in various ways. He says the builder was negligent and caused damage.

Whether it is true or not, this is the builders responsibility not yours.

The way to show he is lying is for the builder to demonstrate and respond to.

If he is not lying, the builders insurance should cover it.

I don't know exactly what a party wall company does (does it do the agreement or more? did it source the builder or did you? I would get the party wall company to refer this to the builder.

Just ignore is my advice.. Just rip up and bin... Never engage.. Or contact the police and report him for harassment..

How is he threatening you? If his concerns are valid he is doing the right thing going via the pw company. He may be overreacting but you seem to be quick to dismiss.

He's sending me emails via a third party even though he sees me at least 5 times a day.
How do you know I am perfectly safe.
Nothing has changed building wise and I'm at the receiving end constantly.
Of course its harassment (even if not legally), have you heard of death by a thousand cuts?
In an ideal world I would like to ignore his message would that be wise?

Be back later

I also don't see how he is "threatening me and my children constantly"

Was this just to get people to click on the thread?

I don't know about the legal stuff but don't think he has threatened you or your children at all (unless there is something you've missed out)

It's not clear what's going on...

When your building work was finished did the party wall surveyors come and inspect and what was the result?

The work the builder did to his property - who agrees it - the surveyor? Was it needed because your work damaged his property?

Is he saying your building work caused this latest lot of issues? In which case surely you just ask the surveyor to tell him
They inspected and did not find any of the above issues.

Pointing out damage which your work has caused to his property isn't harassment - that is the exact reason party wall surveyors are instructed. The correct thing for him to do is to contact them - that's their job. It's not third party harassment at all

Forward it to the party wall people and your builder. Reply and say this is what you have done. Wait for responses.

OP - you are spiralling. Un derstandable as this stuff is stressful, but stop. This is just a (frustratingly common) neighbour disagreement. You just need to adult. This isn't threatening. If anything he appears to be scared of you as you say he won't talk to you.

Why was your neighbour asked to pay half of damage caused by your builder? If I were him that would annoy me too.

Why are you so confident this damage is not true? Regardless, damage caused by your builder is for your builder to fix.

You probably shouldn't ignore it, though I don't understand why you don't know who sent it to you. If it wasn't sent to you, sure, ignore it! Personally I'd email back via the 3rd party and ask for evidenced a timeline of whendanage occurred.

Keep breathing and don't overreact. This isn't threats, he's allowed to seek compensation is damage has occurred (though he does sound like a bit of a CF on things like the roof). But some things are easy to remedy - chimney sweep is maybe £75. Is there a hole is the loft party wall? Are there cracks to his house render?

Is there a reason you are conflating normal (albeit annoying) adult stuff to 'threats' to you and your children?

You are coming across as muddled and a bit unhinged.

Treat this as a business transaction. This man hasn’t spoken to you or approached you. He hasn’t threatened you or your children in any way - in fact he has decided to deal solely with the third party and not with you. A wise move given what you are alleging based on an email to a third party.

you have employed this third party to deal with it. Ask their advice - if you need to engage a solicitor do so. Calm down - you are not in any danger based on what you have told us. You have a neighbour who wants compensation: that’s all. Let others decide if his claim is reasonable and if so who is liable. That’s what insurance is for.

He’s raising grievances through a neutral third party, this is the best way to deal with neighbourly grievances imo. He has not threatened you or your children.

If there has been no damage done to his property then he has no legal recourse. If there has been damage done to his property and you did have a scaffold erected on his home without his permission then he has a valid grievance.

Nothing has changed building wise and I'm at the receiving end constantly.
Of course its harassment (even if not legally), have you heard of death by a thousand cuts?

Also - what are you on the receiving end of 'constantly'? I thought he is ignoring you and this is the first message you've received (although wasn't actually sent to you...) since 6-9 months ago?

Must admit the title is rather misleading to the story, I was expecting potential physical threats, damage to property etc.
In reality, seems a lot of drama is occuring over something that could be sorted out via the surveyor and builder.
What is all the 3rd party about?

What @StoppitRightNow said basically.

Also, there’s no statute of limitations on works done under a Party Wall Agreement. So although the party wall surveyor (sounds like you used a joint surveyor?) signed off his property after your works were completed (details on what work you did would also be useful) if he notices cracks months or years later he’s fully entitled under the Act to expect these are rectified at your cost.

In reality the Party Wall Act is pretty toothless, so he would ultimately need to take you to court. Different story if he really is threatening you and your family of course, and this would constitute a neighbourly dispute which you’d need to disclose when you came to sell. But in reality he’ll struggle to force you to pay for all these things. I believe that as the PWA has been signed off/closed he’d need to prove that your works caused these issues, which will be much harder to do.

All fine after the work was completed?

It makes no sense that your neighbour was expected to pay.

Sounds like a load of bollocks. Fìle under ignore.

It sounds like he's just keeping you in the loop of the email chain.

It seems to me that his issue is with the building company and not you and he's keeping you in the loop

What happened about the first bill that the neightbour did not pay ? What have the party walk company said about the email .

I would be asking if he is intending to take you to court ? If so you want a full independent report and review of the damage and what has caused it . Put the ball back in his court . Sounds like he is just trying it on . He has no actual recourse unless there is actual damage caused by the work and he has to prove that.

He's not threatening you.
Sounds like he lived a nice peaceful life before you turned up and started knocking the shit out of the house though. Can imagine he's quite fed up I would be too

Another one who cannot understand why your neighbour has paid for some of the work. If it is you having the work done, why should he have to pay a single penny?
I have to admit, If my neighbour was having work done I would not be contributing a single penny and would expect my property to be put back into the same condition it was before work commenced at no cost to me. The inconvenience alone would be bad enough.
As for the "threats"???????? I think your post needs to be a bit (a lot) clearer.

IS he sending you emails via a third party though?

What he has done is contacted the party wall company.

They have chosen to send the email on to you. If they have not added any comments when they did so, go back and ask them what happens next.