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Legal matters

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Nuisance/bullying from neighbours and their visitors

43 replies

Mili56789 · 19/12/2023 23:11

Firstly I am a total newbie here so not sure if posted in the right place and this might sound petty to some, but it's impacting my mental health causing me extreme anxiety and a disturbance to my family.
I will set the scene a little, I live in a small private road/drive leading off of a cul de sac about half way up. There are three houses on the private road with each house owning the portion directly in front of each house. My house is the first and so both direct neighbours have right of way over my road, however my issue is not with these neighbours (both quiet elderly couples), rather it is with the ones on the main trunk who have streams of guests/builders/deliveries who keep using my part of the road/drive to turn instead of driving 20 meters further where there is an actual turning point.
The maintenance costs for the shared road/drive is split between the three houses only and due to the excessive daily use we are seeing damage to drain covers, pot holes appearing and damaged front gardens where all the vehicles keep going. We know it's not so much the vehicles of the 3 three houses because my direct neighbours don't drive much and rarely have guests also the position of the damage.

I WFH part of the week and like most people these days have cameras outside my home and see at least 20 vehicles turning and hear the annoying reversing sound from vans about 2 meters away from my window. I have tried to approach the neighbours on the main part politely to remind their visitors, but they are always very hostile towards us and act like they are entitled to use the private road. We are a quiet family and keep ourselves to ourselves and dislike confrontation, but I will stand up for ourselves when I need to. We have encountered xenophobic bullying from neighbours, who think because you have foreign origins you are automatically below them or something here despite growing up in the UK and has gotten worse since dare I say it "Brexit".

The other houses should have been aware when they purchased their properties that the road is not included for them and can see the private road is separate from the public highway with the surface being different. We have a private road sign no turning... completely ignored 😱.

Basically we have a few bully type neighbours and do it on purpose and will stop outside my house with loud engine or music on or lights blazing in front room, short of putting in a gate (which we are not keen on) is there any we can do!? It is a total nuisance and our property is being damaged, we have tried to be nice but getting no where.
Some of the other neighbours have told their visitors and they now turn in the right place and understand our frustration, whilst the others don't care one bit and seems like they are trying to force us to leave.
I sent complaint emails to some of the company vans when I could get their number plate and showed them footage, this took a few years to get sorted and letters threatening legal action if the harassment/nuisance did not stop.
I've contacted the local council and their highways if they could help, that fell on deaf ears... I also had to contact the local police for one neighbour and they were spoken to after making it their life's work to shout four letter words at me and have every builder friend they knew drive their vans almost into my frony door for weeks on end.
I am so sick and tired of having to deal with this, and yes simple answer would be to move somewhere else, but why should we give in? Why do some people feel they can do whatever they want to cause misery to other's. If the shoe was on the other foot I'm sure they would feel the same. We worked hard to have what we have and don't expect it to be trampled over, we are always courteous of others, but it's not reciprocated.

And not to quote the Beetles, but HELP!

OP posts:
Collaborate · 20/12/2023 09:41

The best thing you can do is bite the bullet and install a gate. That's going to be much more effective, and cheaper, than taking legal action.

Upyouranty · 20/12/2023 10:06

Install a gate.

nobody wins in Neighbour arguments - even if you’re in the right it’ll cost you. Not just financially but mentally.

I had terrible Neighbours once and had an epic thread on here about them, it was astonishing.

You will get people who say, what does it matter if they use your road. But it matters to you and you’ve asked them not to, if they wanted a resolution they would stop doing it. They don’t.

pilates · 20/12/2023 10:20

Could you put up a big sign saying “private road - do not use to turn around”

Reugny · 20/12/2023 10:22

pilates · 20/12/2023 10:20

Could you put up a big sign saying “private road - do not use to turn around”

Doesn't work alone.

Private roads near me without fenced front gardens use large rocks or planters to stop people destroying to their front gardens.

Followed by a gate with a sign on it.

Works.

Chugnut · 20/12/2023 10:24

pilates · 20/12/2023 10:20

Could you put up a big sign saying “private road - do not use to turn around”

RTFT They already have one

Lalalanding · 20/12/2023 10:28

I think there is very little your neighbours can do about this and your expectations sound unreasonable. Even if everyone was actually visiting them, every delivery truck, every trades person turns in your driveway from one house next door it is because it is a convenient turning spot. Your neighbours have unlikely being maliciously telling everyone they come across that your driveway is where they should turn around. I do not believe they have 20 visitors to their house each day either, I think you are exaggerating this, we had extensive building work done and couldn’t have had anywhere near that level. This is the individual responsibility of drivers on the road not your neighbours. Put up a sign and see does that help at all.

JustAGirlScotland · 20/12/2023 10:29

100% install a gate. It guarantees a stop to the issue and saves you money in terms of road repairs.

Xmasisoffsantahascovid · 20/12/2023 10:32

Penguin bollard right in the middle if it's supposed to be for your use only....

hedgehoglurker · 20/12/2023 10:32

A gate is the simplest option, will your neighbours agree to it?

How many properties are there on the main road that are bullying you?

Also, are you including delivery drivers and builders merchants etc as their "visitors"? I'm not sure the neighbours have much influence on where these drivers choose to turn their vehicles.

ActDottie · 20/12/2023 10:38

Lalalanding · 20/12/2023 10:28

I think there is very little your neighbours can do about this and your expectations sound unreasonable. Even if everyone was actually visiting them, every delivery truck, every trades person turns in your driveway from one house next door it is because it is a convenient turning spot. Your neighbours have unlikely being maliciously telling everyone they come across that your driveway is where they should turn around. I do not believe they have 20 visitors to their house each day either, I think you are exaggerating this, we had extensive building work done and couldn’t have had anywhere near that level. This is the individual responsibility of drivers on the road not your neighbours. Put up a sign and see does that help at all.

There is a sign! Read the original post. Who cares if the OP is exaggerating a bit, every vehicle that is turning there etc. is on private land that they shouldn’t be on.

OP I’d probably put a gate in :( not ideal but only way for people to get the message.

itsgettingweird · 20/12/2023 10:38

I was going to suggest gate. If you one an electric one you and your neighbours can all activate it as you drive in and out to stop slowing you down.

Bonus points for leaving it open and then closing it when one of these fuckers goes through knowing they shouldn't and trapping them there Grin

Helenahandkart · 20/12/2023 10:39

My dad put some large boulders at the entrance to his property for the exact same reason. They are spaced just wide enough that he can drive through them, but too narrow for a van to easily turn there. You just need to make it sufficiently inconvenient that the vans prefer to use the main turning area further up the road.

DcatAnnie · 20/12/2023 10:45

You can get electric bollards apparently

ChateauDuMont · 20/12/2023 10:46

Bullying is not the right word. Disrespecting would be more appropriate m.

Just put a gate up.

Heyhoherewegoagain · 20/12/2023 10:47

Do I get points for being the first to mention penguin bollards?😉

Mili56789 · 20/12/2023 10:51
Wile E Coyote No GIF by Looney Tunes

We've tried with large cut logs spaced around the front garden to keep it looking more "green" but it doesn't stop people with large vans intent on destroying things. Big rocks would cause damage back I guess 🤭. Signs up and great if they are acknowledged, but ignorance is bliss for some people.. might look like a scene from the wil e coyote cartoons.

The gate seems like the only real option (unless someone decides to drive into those too). We have talked about this with the adjoining neighbours and they would be happy to get one for security too, my concern is what if an emergency vehicle needed to get to the other houses?

We are very mindful and keep an eye out for each other if something happens, and I'm trying to cover all bases.

OP posts:
Heyhoherewegoagain · 20/12/2023 10:56

If an emergency vehicle needs to get in, they’ll get in, believe me!

lollydu · 20/12/2023 11:05

Why not install those bollard things that can just be put down with a remote rather than a gate - might be cheaper?

Mili56789 · 20/12/2023 11:09

There are about 20 vehicles per day from 4 other houses, the other houses on the main part are further up and would not need to turn here and the ones who were courteous enough to understand have advised their visitors not to use our drive.
Delivery companies have been informed about the nuisance previously and the major ones have stopped.

If you had a large lorry delivering a sofa would you not tell them prior to making the delivery that the road is quite narrow so they can make alternative arrangements with a smaller vehicle? I know usually logistics companies might check this, but some try to save money using a larger lorry.

We get verbally abused and property has been purposely damaged, I would call this bullying.

OP posts:
Gillypie23 · 20/12/2023 11:11

Can you install a gate or bollards.

Bramshott · 20/12/2023 11:12

If your immediate neighbours are happy with a gate being installed then it seems a no-brainer surely?

hedgehoglurker · 20/12/2023 11:16

You don't necessarily need a locked gate, even one gate bolted to the ground to make the entrance uncomfortably narrow for a truck but wide enough for a car to get through. If a large vehicle needs to get through the driver can get out and unbolt it, but I doubt delivery drivers would bother if they are just wanting to turn.

Also, consider adding to your sign that there is a turning area further down.

Batmannequin · 20/12/2023 11:26

22 replies, and not one diagram request!

Mili56789 · 20/12/2023 11:27

It just seems like it would be a hassle for anyone also visiting us and not entirely keeping with the open plan area - although we would only need low gates not 10ft metal ones.

Any solution for the verbal abuse? We just ignore it, but what do you say to your 5yr old when they ask why does that person keep calling you c### your name is mummy? My child doesn't fully repeat the word thank goodness!

OP posts:
hedgehoglurker · 20/12/2023 11:37

If you put a gate up, then what contact will you have with these people in order to receive abuse? It seems like this could have been resolved years ago without all of the escalation on BOTH sides.

I suggested a single gate that cars and pedestrians can still get through, so no hassle for visitors, just a deterrent for large vehicles.

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