Not married to OH. What happens if he dies?

[Adviceneededpleaseee]

Hi all.

Looking for some hypothetical advice. Me and DP are engaged and have one DC and another on the way. We got engaged before Covid and then the wedding went on the back burner due to me having a baby and then getting pregnant again. We do plan on marrying once this baby is born.

I am not on the mortgage. Our house is owned solely by DH. I am the sole beneficiary of his life insurance policy which will pay off the house plus leave £1M+.

Neither of us has a will at the moment. Fully aware we need to get this done ASAP.

If DH was to die tomorrow - who would get what (the house, the life insurance and DHs assets)? His mum and also a brother are still alive if this makes any difference.

Please no posts telling me how important is that we get married and make a will, we are both fully aware how important this is (we just need to get round to it!).

thank you!

Just to make it clear - here’s a diagram from the gazette

What nonsense. His children are his nearest relatives and there is no such thing as an official nok in England.

"I am the sole beneficiary of his life insurance policy which will pay off the house plus leave £1M+."

Again, IANAL, but I think you would be in the odd position of having to use the proceeds of the life assurance to buy the house from your children, who would inherit it as you aren't on the deeds.

A will can be handwritten or typed , signed, dated then needs to be witnessed by 2 people not related and not beneficiaries. Keep it really simple - in the event of my death I want the house to go to x, savings to y. Life assurance pays out to whoever named.

We had a relative who was 'getting round' to making a will, they had an accident and have no capacity now, it's been an absolute nightmare trying to sort out finances.

Please just go and get legally married. As others have said it is not the same as a “wedding”. Sign the paperwork and get it done. Will prob take as long as sorting wills.

But do one or the other now.

You’ve already given him children, with his name too I bet. Don’t be surprised if he keeps feeding you lies and excuses constantly about how it’s not the right time yet or there just isn’t enough money for a big wedding yet, etc. Seen this happen before to quite a few women unfortunately.

Dont take this the wrong way but now you have given him children in his name, what benefit is there for him to marry you? Especially being as he owns the house and you nothing. You will be homeless if the two of you split up without being married. I hope you have your own income and working, or you’re absolutely screwed with a capit S.

Be wise, get married now, have the wedding later

Never mind if he dies, like the majority of relationships this one could end imminently and you'll be fucked OP.

My friends partner recently died, they had been together for 26 years but were not married and she lived in his house. He has 2 adult children who live in their own properties. For reasons unknown, he didn't have a will. All of his estate is now in the process of being transferred to his two adult children. My friend has no claim to anything and will be homeless once they sell the property. She is now looking at what is available to her but it's not much esp as she's too old for a mortgage and no longer works and has pets too.

It's a scary situation so please protect yourself immediately. His children would be his next of kin if they were over 18 but as they're not, then it's his mother.

My friend died within 48 hours of having "flu" turned out to be Strep A that progressed into sepsis, they were not even 40 years old. Registry office now. Protect yourself and your children. You would not want to be dealing with all the extra red tape crap whilst pregnant if your partner suddenly died.

Something else you could consider, as a stopgap, is if you go on the deeds as joint tenants, the house would become yours as the only surviving owner. The same applies to any joint bank accounts. You wouldn't need to be married or have a will for that to be the case.

Trusts have to be created and the beneficiaries and trustees named on the documents. They don't just happen.
You also need to get your name on the deeds of the property and make sure you are tenants in common.
Agree with everyone who has said go and do a quick registry office ceremony asap, as well as sorting out the property, wills and trusts. Just get it done asap.
Anything can happen to anyone at any time.

@Adviceneededpleaseee @Whataretheodds

Please take legal advice or at the least set up wills using a pre printed form

The Wills Act 1837 [in England at least] requires that the testator's signature be witnessed by two people together at the same time. [The signature can - if executed previously be "acknowledged" later. You really should take advice from a Solicitor and - rather grisly perhaps - make arrangements for guardianship [someone else to look after DC] should you both die within a short time of each other.

Sometimes charities will produce free wills for you.

There are proposals - not adopted yet - amend the law to make it more commonsense

Two points Not just to you but others. Ask not what would happen if he died tomorrow. Ask what would be your situation if he had died last month and most of the cash now spent. Also what would be his situation if you had been run over by a bus last month?.
Make wills soonest and check that they will still be valid after marriage.
Similarly Lasting Power of Attorney for you both.

Why the urgency if wedding immenent ? Do we need to do a welfare check on him next week ? Both do a quick will Job done ?

You are right, the rules about needing to be married have changed, and the surviving partner of cohabitating couples can now apply. They are currently allowing backdated claims for people who missed out, you might want to look into it?

You need to apply before February 2024 (for backdated claims), it would be widowed parents allowance if the bereavement was before April 2017 (I think), or Bereavement Support Allowance if after. The application should be straightforward, just download the forms from .GOV and apply.

Martin Lewis has been covering this recently, there is a clip on his social media.

I really hope this message is useful to you, or others in this situation. It could be worth a lot of money.

This would only apply if she was her next off kin. Who ever is next off kin on doctors etc is the only person that can make that call

The brief answer is that you would be at the bottom of the list after his blood relatives.

If the house is worth more than 325k then joint tenants leaves you the house but also an iht bill

Marriage would also make things easier for him if, got forbid, anything we’re to happen to you during the birth.

I always (semi jokingly) say that the only reason DH and I got married was because it was cheaper than getting two wills written 😃

Not a solicitor but my understanding is that you would get the life insurance payout and everything else would go into a trust for the children. I doubt you'd have any rights to access it.

Surely the simplest solution to this is to just get married... not sure why you'd wait until after the baby arrives? You can still do a big party etc later.

This this and this. Why on earth women put themselves in this situation i will never know.
OP you have 2 children to think of here, you need a marriage not a wedding. You need to book the Registry office for 6 weeks from tomorrow. Get it done and protect yourself and children. Have a party in the summer to celebrate. You need to write wills A.S.A.P and have your name put on the deeds.

@Thelittleweasel I agree that would be better. But given OP seems to think it all too much hassle this would be a good start, no? Her partner can make his intentions clear and transparent.

can I ask why you don't pop to the solicitors and et some advice? Make an appointment for both of you o along and get some advice about trusts for the dc and wills etc - then get it sorted

Having had an out that was married but her dh dropped dead on the pub one night without a will - its was a shit show trying to do probate and I wouldn't wish that on anyone