Encounter with Jimmy Saville on school trip - who do I tell?

[Justalittlebitblondie]

I need your hive brains! I had an encounter with Jimmy Saville when I was nine - nothing as bad is could have been - hugging, stroking my hair and telling me how beautiful I was. I was completely freaked out and remember recoiling. It was on an outdoor activity trip organised by the school (state). The teachers saw, laughed and I was teased about it later by them. I have decided to tell the Council as feel need to have reported it. They are not interested as it is over 12 months ago - so who do I tell?

I mean I don't think we should minimise it, but who do you want to tell?

I've heard you OP, I believe you.

I'm sitting here right not NOT minimising and NOT dismissing this - to make up for all the people on this thread who don't understand why you might need a voice and why telling someone now is significant to you.

Yes, sexual abuse shouldn't be minimised, but the man patted her hair

I'm missing the abuse here.

No-one's said that they don't believe her. And the vast majority understand that it was upsetting at the time, and more so now that OP (and all of us) know and understand that he was a sexual abuser.

Again, the majority of us understand that OP needs help to express and understand how she feels. BUT there was no offence committed by him that day. And there was certainly none committed by the teachers. How the man was perceived by others at the time led probably thousands of people who came across him to simply not recognise what was happening.

OP has been given some excellent advice about who to talk to, but people are trying to ensure that she is realistic about what she can expect to happen, given the.time that's elapsed, the fact that he's dead, and that the teachers (who probably also looked back with horror when the stories about him came out) are also possibly dead.

Given the volume of accusations, one more, which is a report of holding and stroking her hair, is not going to add anything of any substance to the record, and OP needs to be aware of that so that she doesn't feel let down. The police, for instance, will not be able to do anything, and the council will simply point to the huge changes in safeguarding within schools that have been brought in since then.

The NSPCC helpline is a much more positive route to explore, and hopefully they will be able to signpost counseling..

If it is distressing you then it is completely OK (and sensible) to look for support. I am sorry if whoever you spoke to at the Council wasn't helpful. There is nothing they can do, but they should have advised you about the support available.

As I said before, you could try the NSPCC helpline,and also your GP. You could also Google mental health services in your area, some don't need a GP referral.

To put into context if this was your daughter being hugged by a celebrity (in this case Harry Styles) would you go ballistic and report him to the police?

You are looking at this through the lense of what we know now (that he was a paedophile) not what they knew then (he was a massive star, he was a top radio dj, he ran marathons to build a spinal unit for Stoke Mandeville hospital, he hosted top of the pops which was one of the biggest TV shows at the time)

I am prepared to bet that if your daughter was hugged by a modern day celebrity you would get your camera out rather than call 999. If that celebrity in 30 years turns out to have been a paedo that picture may invoke very different feelings

I am in no way suggesting that Harry Styles is a paedo by the way but he is also known for his rather eccentric dress sense.

I get it Op,

He was a bit too over familar with you , touching your hair ect,
in a way that would be considered inappropriate nowadays,

I think Counselling would be your better choice now,
cause of Yewtree case happened years ago,

Yes the Police would believe you no doubt,

what can they do with this infor now ?

However if you think it will valid, recognise how you feel,
i think on reflection, that seeing the police involved with historical cases on child abuse cases,
is something to think about as another option too,

I think seeing , having good Counselling would help you with this,
aswell as seeing the relevant Authorities police too.

what is your gut feelings about what to do Op then?

It's your choice , what matters end of the day...

Go with your gut feelings

oops sorry Op,
I ment to say to seek relevant Authorities about this

It’s truly frightening to see so many trivialising and minimising responses on here to grooming behaviour, from parents who are raising children the same age as my own. Whether they are sons or daughters, I hope if they came to you one day in the future and told you that as a child, a man touched and spoke to them inappropriately, that you wouldn’t say some of the shit you’ve said here. God help us.

@CherryBlossom321 I'm seeing few if any responses here trivialising the OP's response now to what happened 30 or 40 years ago. Admittedly I'm guessing on the timings but I suspect this was in the era of the Radio One summer roadshow and suchlike.

If a 9yo were touched etc by a current day star in the way described then alarm bells would be ringing. As somebody who was a child in the sixties and seventies it simply wasn't the same then. Savile was seen by some as a bit creepy even by the standards of the time but not exceptionally so.

The thing about politicians being expected to kiss babies isn't wholly a myth or joke!!

OP can and should seek counselling or similar to help her come to terms with what she know knows and thinks but there's nobody at this distance who could possibly be 'held accountable' as the modern parlance has it.

Nobody, there's no point.

They can't do anything now he's dead, and cuddling someone isn't against the law however uncomfortable it made you.

I agree

The critical point here is 'if it happened now.' It didn't, it happened many years ago, when such instances were commonplace.

Hang on I was deleted but Cyril Smith did stroke my hair and eat my sandwich. Who ever reported me is a twat.

He was a paedophile too fgs!

Im sorry OP, but nothing happened to you that was illegal. Please don’t waste anymore police time. You are stopping real victims of crime from getting the time they need.

Do try to move on.

I think as you can see from the reactions on here there will be no help if you report it. I think councilling would help you most. I am sorry it happened to you and I can empathise. I had an incident with a GP and at the time I told people and was dismissed and called a lier. A few years later he's in the newspaper for abusing his patients. It was definitely the reaction of those I told that did the most damage to me and it impacted my trust of those who were supposed to protect me to this day.

I do think personally those who dismissed me would have thought oh shit when they saw the news and realised they were wrong. I hope they learnt from that. I imagine when it all came out about savile your teachers may have remembered meeting him and then remembered how he behaved and how they behaved and thought oh shit themselves. Maybe they did maybe they didn't. He's dead he can't hurt anyone else. Supposedly lessons were learned from what happened with him. To heal yourself focus on yourself, get some councilling and put it behind you. You deserve a life without the leftover trauma of that

The teachers would have had no idea of the level of Jimmys creepiness then.
You sound like you think the teachers acted inappropriately by laughing and ignoring his now obviously creepy behaviour?
He's dead. Move on with the help of counselling.

If i'd heard the rumours about him as a sheltered child in a sleepy village then I'm pretty sure most adults had

Google suggests there are Savile survivors groups in existence - perhaps you could explore this and find one to join.

Looks like the tv industry hasn't learnt the lesson after all these years

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-67483902