ExH has DD (aged 8) for 2 nights EOWend as per CAO made in 2019.
She is currently in Year 4 at a First School so will move to Middle School in September 2024.
Current school is cofe and ExH is so against religion he won’t have anything to do with school, no concerts, or sports days, no parents evenings or workshops. He won’t even pick her up on his Friday and expects me to do it. He would rather not have contact at all than pick her up from her school. It’s also caused issues with things like Choir club which DD eventually quit as he would not allow her to perform in concerts at Church on his weekends and she missed most of them due to it.
He will say negative things about DDs teachers and school to her and it’s caused issues with school refusal.
For Middle School there are 3 options:
- Catchment School, cofe, current school is a feeder. DD loved it when we went round. Live 0.8m from school (ExH is 0.1m from this school) Most of DDs friends will go here
- Non Dom School, Live 1.3m from school (ExH is 0.5m from this school)
- Non Dom School, 1.5m from school (ExH is 0.8m from this school), this was the non dom DD preferred
DD has a mobility issue and can’t walk more than a mile so 2 and 3 are a car journey from us. She’s not outright said she wants school 1, but I know she does as she lights up when you mention it and she’s spoken to girls at her Brownies about all 3 schools and sounds like she likes the sound of 1.
ExH wants her to go to 2 or 3 due to him being so against religion, he hasn’t said he didn’t like 1 but said “It’s an option at least” once outside, said nothing walking round. Loved 2 and 3 and asked questions. He’s said if she goes to 2 or 3 he’ll see her more and pick her up, he has not said that about 1 and I know he’ll be the same as he is now about it.
I’m not religious but not bothered if DD goes to a school that is. If it wasn’t for the mobility issue and DDs love for 1 I’d have put her in 3 no questions just to keep ExH happy even though it’ll cost me more in terms of fuel to get her there.
In all of the last 6 years we’d have got whichever school I put first preference so it matters. On paper all 3 would suit, it’s just the walk that matters most.
No matter which school she goes to, all costs associated with it are on me so all uniform, lunches, trips etc. ExH has said these are the RPs responsibilities and that’s what maintenance is for (all £35 a month of it!). All the schools have a blazer for Years 5 and 6 which is compulsory.
I posted this https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4908035-choosing-a-school-when-ex-is-so-against-one-option-year-5-entry-wwyd?reply=129555443 on Chat for more details about how against it ExH is.
So legally where do I stand if I take it to court? I know my views don’t trump ExHs just because I’m RP but do DDs views matter or is she to young? Does it matter that I will be the one paying for everything and therefore I want to offset some costs by chosing a school DD can physically walk to? Would DDs future independence be taken into account? I.e. the fact she can walk to and from catchment school now rather than rely on me.
Her condition is unlikely to improve beyond what it is now and may even get worse especially if she doesn’t walk as often as she needs to.
Ideally I'd have 1, then 3 then 2 as my preferences (get 3)