Ex threatening solicitor over my house

singlemum93 · 2023-09-16T10:23:26+00:00

Long story short.. I bought a house just over 3 years ago. Met my ex.. had a child we lived in it together my child is now 2. I paid for the house and everything in it and the mortgage. While he lived here he first paid the bills, then I went back to work part time it was a struggle he paid me weekly £120. All bills in my name etc and mortgage. The relationship was horrendous.. battled it out for too long we eventually broke up and he moved out last April. I got a credit card as he gave me no money for 6 weeks and I had to apply for universal credit etc. since then he gives me £35 a week even though he earns around £40k a year and I earn £17k. We've got on relatively well since break up but he is very unpredictable and unreliable. I asked for more money this month as I was struggling he refused and told me to apply for CSA. I did and now he has gone insane giving me abuse and basically saying my child won't have a father now and all im interested in is money etc (not the case). Giving me so much abuse and acting like I've done the worst thing in the world checking what CSA im entitled to. I haven't asked them to collect the payments or anything and haven't even got an amount yet I will receive. But his behaviour is awful and now he is saying he will go to a solicitor and say he has been paying for my house the last 3 years etc etc. where do I stand with this please?

JonsDragonQueen · 16/09/2023 11:33

Seems to me like all he's interested in is money
Ignore him, a boyfriend won't be entitled to anything.

LaurieFairyCake · 16/09/2023 11:34

It's your house, you're not married - very unlikely he will get anything at all as he has no beneficial interest in the house

You don't have to accept abuse, just block him on everything and call the police if he comes to your door. He can go through the court if he wants access to your child.

And yes, get CMS to collect

Bromptotoo · 16/09/2023 11:37

There's a significant difference between what Joe Public thinks you can get as the person leaving in a situation like this and reality. I don't think, if the scenario was that he moved in and paid 'some bills' then you split up he's entitled to anything at all.

You say he's unpredictable and unreliable as well as abusive - I assume verbally rather than actual violence. Threatening their opponent with a solicitor seems like a large club to wield but the reality is that solicitors are just another profession and there's no need to be frightened.

My guess is a solicitor will tell him he's not got a scooby and charge him £250 for the priviledge...

If you do get a letter from one seek advice either here, form (for example) CA or a lawyer of your own...

MissBattleaxe · 16/09/2023 12:04

He hasn't got a leg to stand on

TheSandgroper · 16/09/2023 15:51

1). He is having a tantrum.

2). He can say whatever he likes. It is unlikely to make sense. It is unlikely to be truthful in law. It is possible what he says bears no relation to actual, legal reality.
3). Research good advice. Ex shouting does not equal good advice.

Original poster

singlemum93 · 16/09/2023 17:45

Thanks everyone for the advice just going to ignore him as much as possible.

OP posts:

Peacendkindness · 16/09/2023 18:05

He did not,do you hear me?, pay you money for bills - he paid you a token rent - you hearing me? nothing else and the bills you paid were far more then the token rent he paid you

Mumof3confused · 17/09/2023 12:57

He doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Just ignore him and get that child maintenance collected for you so you don’t have to deal with him.

FSTraining · 17/09/2023 13:13

Most of the advice here is wrong. Your ex may have a constructive trust arising from his contribution to the family budget that allowed you to continue paying the mortgage. Whether that is the case will depend on the detail but given your need for CMS from him in order to balance the books, it looks like you needed a contribution from him in order to afford the mortgage when you were together and therefore a constructive trust may well have arisen. There are other factors that may be relevant.

His contributions don't sound very big but I'm afraid he may well have a leg to stand on and you need to get legal advice.

FSTraining · 17/09/2023 13:16

Bromptotoo · 16/09/2023 11:37

There's a significant difference between what Joe Public thinks you can get as the person leaving in a situation like this and reality. I don't think, if the scenario was that he moved in and paid 'some bills' then you split up he's entitled to anything at all.

You say he's unpredictable and unreliable as well as abusive - I assume verbally rather than actual violence. Threatening their opponent with a solicitor seems like a large club to wield but the reality is that solicitors are just another profession and there's no need to be frightened.

My guess is a solicitor will tell him he's not got a scooby and charge him £250 for the priviledge...

If you do get a letter from one seek advice either here, form (for example) CA or a lawyer of your own...

No, a solicitor will ask to see the last three years bank statements and seek to understand the family budget. They will want to ascertain whether his contributions directly or indirectly made it possible to pay the mortgage in order to determine whether he has a constructive trust in the family home. Any work he did to the property to improve its value will also be considered.

Bromptotoo · 17/09/2023 13:19

FSTraining · 17/09/2023 13:16

No, a solicitor will ask to see the last three years bank statements and seek to understand the family budget. They will want to ascertain whether his contributions directly or indirectly made it possible to pay the mortgage in order to determine whether he has a constructive trust in the family home. Any work he did to the property to improve its value will also be considered.

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And then tell him he's not got a sccoby etc...

FSTraining · 17/09/2023 13:22

Bromptotoo · 17/09/2023 13:19

And then tell him he's not got a sccoby etc...

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Not necessarily. If he is earning £40k and the OP only £17k then it sounds a bit odd to me that she was able to pay the mortgage and all the bills without a proper contribution from him. There are possibly key pieces of information we've not been given here.

Jellybean23 · 17/09/2023 13:24

Go to a solicitor yourself and get the facts about what he could and couldn't claim. Then you'll have peace of mind and you can sleep soundly at night.

FSTraining · 17/09/2023 13:27

Jellybean23 · 17/09/2023 13:24

Go to a solicitor yourself and get the facts about what he could and couldn't claim. Then you'll have peace of mind and you can sleep soundly at night.

Definitely do this. However, thirty minutes of free advice will probably not be enough to answer the question.

Original poster

singlemum93 · 17/09/2023 14:17

I got the mortgage before I had a child, after I had the child I worked part time due to childcare being expensive it made sense. My mortgage isn't huge as I paid a big deposit and bought a small house and I can afford it alone. Yes he earned more than me after I had a child and worked part time.

OP posts:

FSTraining · 17/09/2023 15:52

singlemum93 · 17/09/2023 14:17

I got the mortgage before I had a child, after I had the child I worked part time due to childcare being expensive it made sense. My mortgage isn't huge as I paid a big deposit and bought a small house and I can afford it alone. Yes he earned more than me after I had a child and worked part time.

It's not necessarily whether you can afford it alone now. It's whether you afforded it alone for the past 3 years as a couple.

If he can prove there was a common intention to share the house and that he acted to his detriment on this understanding then a constructive trust may have arisen. This might not be for very much of the equity, but it is not necessarily zero either.

Dillydollydingdong · 17/09/2023 15:56

He would have had to pay rent, wherever he lived. He paid you rent. You're not married. He hasn't got a snowflakes' chance.

Coolblur · 17/09/2023 16:11

If you're not married and the house is in your name he has no claim on it, unless he can prove he made contributions that increased the value, such as paying for a new bathroom or kitchen. From your post all he did was pay a small contribution towards bills, which wouldn't have gone anywhere near constituting paying the mortgage.
I wouldn't mind betting his threats are empty, let him pursue this legally if he wants (he won't), he'll get no where.
Well done on calling his bluff and applying for child support by the way. If you still feel like engaging with him at all I'd point out that having to financially contribute towards his child's upbringing doesn't offset the amount of time he spends with her. In fact the less he time he spends being a father to her, the more it will cost him in every way.
Best thing you can do though is just grey rock him, it'll be a lot less stressful.

FSTraining · 17/09/2023 17:57

Dillydollydingdong · 17/09/2023 15:56

He would have had to pay rent, wherever he lived. He paid you rent. You're not married. He hasn't got a snowflakes' chance.

Wrong. OP ignore, this is not what the law says.

FSTraining · 17/09/2023 17:58

Coolblur · 17/09/2023 16:11

If you're not married and the house is in your name he has no claim on it, unless he can prove he made contributions that increased the value, such as paying for a new bathroom or kitchen. From your post all he did was pay a small contribution towards bills, which wouldn't have gone anywhere near constituting paying the mortgage.
I wouldn't mind betting his threats are empty, let him pursue this legally if he wants (he won't), he'll get no where.
Well done on calling his bluff and applying for child support by the way. If you still feel like engaging with him at all I'd point out that having to financially contribute towards his child's upbringing doesn't offset the amount of time he spends with her. In fact the less he time he spends being a father to her, the more it will cost him in every way.
Best thing you can do though is just grey rock him, it'll be a lot less stressful.

Wrong. OP, ignore this post, this is not the law.

Coolblur · 17/09/2023 22:07

FSTraining that's what I was advised, albeit some years ago now. If just living together and sharing household bills gives people legal rights over each other's property, then what's the point of marriage? Though I realise every case is unique. OP doesn't have to prove anything, but her ex would if he tried to make a claim.

OP just get legal advice for peace of mind, and in the meantime do your best to ignore him and his tantrum like behaviour.

FSTraining · 17/09/2023 23:33

Coolblur · 17/09/2023 22:07

FSTraining that's what I was advised, albeit some years ago now. If just living together and sharing household bills gives people legal rights over each other's property, then what's the point of marriage? Though I realise every case is unique. OP doesn't have to prove anything, but her ex would if he tried to make a claim.

OP just get legal advice for peace of mind, and in the meantime do your best to ignore him and his tantrum like behaviour.

What you were advised was probably based on a solicitor scrutinising how you and your ex managed your finances. It will not necessarily be the same for the OP. It should not be treated as a matter that will just go away.

Coolblur · 18/09/2023 10:41

FSTraining fair enough. But it doesn't mean my advice, or that of others, is necessarily 'wrong'

FSTraining · 18/09/2023 10:56

Coolblur · 18/09/2023 10:41

FSTraining fair enough. But it doesn't mean my advice, or that of others, is necessarily 'wrong'

Except legally it is wrong and if the OP followed it, she would potentially ignore a significant issue.

Bromptotoo · 18/09/2023 11:25

FSTraining · 18/09/2023 10:56

Except legally it is wrong and if the OP followed it, she would potentially ignore a significant issue.

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AIUI a claim on a home owned by an unmarried, on a relationship breakdown, partner is massively more difficult to stick than when a marriage founders.

That doesn't mean that, in a given set of facts such a claim is doomed to fail.

Every case has its own facts and, ultimately, it will come down to how a properly addressed court decides to divvy things up.

On the facts outlined in the OP I think @singlemum93 is probably on pretty safe ground which is why I was suggesting waiting and seeing if ex's threats materialised. If she wants to be sure then obvs she can consult a solicitor now.

As things are per the OP I think a decent lawyer could give the key points a run through in the 20mins our work partner firm allow for a Pro Bono. If of course that then goes on to full advice, documents, bank history etc it'll be different; money will be demanded.