Oh fuck what is going to happen?

[notahappybunny7]

My mum has passed away. She has left everything in her will to me(house paid(220k and about 50k in savings)
no other siblings off my mother but my dad has 4 more(no relationship with them)
they're married have been for 40+ years but he’s a twat who’s never worked properly, my mum has grafted her arse off to pay mortgage and ct, he has paid utilities and food, well the basics my mum alway bought her lunches and any luxuries. No joint accounts ever.
I’m not money grabbing it my mum wanted this for me and my daughter, to better our lives, he is saying he’s not moving and will contest the will. What will happen?

Morally yes, please do let us know what happened when it's all done and dusted. I think that's all you need to do - good luck with everything.

This, this and this.

I’m sure once I come back to this thread after work, it’ll be deleted!

Get proper advice from a solicitor.
Literally my first sentence of the post you quote.

I'll expand what I wrote:

Make detailed notes before the appointment, including any questions you may want to ask.

At your first appointment, give the solicitor all relevant documents, and a clear description of what has happened. Ask them what your options are.

Consider your options, while knowing your own truth. Know what you think is fair. How else can you decide what you want to do next? Not taking it any further is, of course, one of your options. Never make a decision without thinking about it for at least 3 days.

Consult solicitor, and either instruct solicitor to act, or ask them for the bill.

What happens after that depends on what you instruct the solicitor to do.

This is the exact strategy I used in 2011-12 when divorcing my abusive Ex (thankfully no violence involved). I was supported by an army of women on the Relationships board, to whom I shall be forever thankful.

One last paragraph: don't let your step-father yank your rope or press your buttons. Just try and remember exactly what he says, which can be revealing as to what he might be thinking. Anything he suggests re solutions to the house, write down the details, and say "I'll have a think about that.". Keep your own cards close to your chest, and don't let him wind you up. Grey rock.

Why should it be deleted? You don't have to read replies, it's very easy to hide a thread.
IMHO it'll be useful for others to read, and make them think about the implications of staying in an unhappy marriage with someone who might end up financially dependent on them

Sorry for your loss OP. Maybe there is a compromise of allowing him a lifetime interest whilst the house is yours. If they divorced he would have been entitled to a share of the marital assets 50/50 is starting point but it sounds like this could get really messy and expensive in courts so some kind of solution between you both would be sensible (although I appreciate that’s a hard pill to swallow.) Sorry you are going through this.

but its not just OP and Dad? its also dads other 4 kids to consider, who would normally "expect" a share of dads estate and it not all to go 100% to the OP.

so they won't be happy with dad just being given a life interest.

Good luck OP. Look after yourself.

Whilst an interesting take on the thread, I think you may have posted in error.

How on earth did that happen - totally the wrong thread

I think your mother should have been advised that whilst she was free to write her will however she wanted, if she had let him stay in the house till he died or no longer needed it with a proviso that if he contested the will and lost then he would forfeit the right to live there

Did the solicitor at the will writing ever say anything about making sure your father was provided for

The issue is that he is well within his rights to contest it and win as no provision for him was made

Given he is an elderly man who is disabled, he was married to your mother for 40 years and he was paying towards the upkeep of the house. They could well cancel the will and then he would get everything

I think there is an element of revenge about the way the will was written but unfortunately the law isn’t interested in who did what to whom.

It is only interested in the letter of the law and unfortunately your mother either wasn’t advised correctly or ignored the advice and we now have this situation

I think your mother was too weak to divorce your father and I think this will was her revenge but all she has done is to create a huge mess both emotionally and financially for her dd

How do you know this man is an abuser ? It is a crying shame that the op can come on here post what she likes and everyone agrees with her . Sorry but it is easy to label someone an abuser and get people on side when you think you are going to get a house and some savings out if it . Sorry but I hope she gets nowt ! If the man was so bad then her mum should have got out of the relationship 40 years ago before marrying the tool. I just get sick of all the men haters . Let’s just remember that there are women abusers as well I know this as I suffered at the hands of one and wanted to take my own life over it . No abuse is acceptable but sadly there are those that label these men abusers he musta have done something right because she calls him Dad

Wills

You can write whatever you like into one.

Yes of course.

Obviously though if he has a claim all that happens is solicitors get more money.

Eg I know that half of this house is mine.

If my husband tried to will it away from me-why should I have to spend money showing that he couldn't do that?

DISCLAIMER-I obviously don't know if Op's mum has tried to do this or not!

Is your father still married to your mother? If he is, he can make a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975.

Is your father still married to your mother
The op says that they never divorced.

*diddl · Today 18:13

Wills

You can write whatever you like into one.

Yes of course.

Obviously though if he has a claim all that happens is solicitors get more money*

And someone will be a winner and someone will be a loser although the father in this case hasn’t got anything to lose

You can write whatever you want in your will. But usually if you do it through a solicitor they will guide you so you don’t end up in this mess.

I would love to know what was discussed at the will writing appointment. Did the solicitor not guide the mother into making a will that would have catered for the father yet still have given the dd what was intended.
Or did the solicitor tell her to make provision for the father but was ignored with the view of this was her house and he wasn’t getting a penny and she hadn’t taken on board what mess she would be leaving behind and the very high possibility her dd could end up with nothing.

If the court decide to void the will then the father gets everything and op won’t see a penny of her mother’s money.
And the big F.U. that this will was intended to say will have back fired spectacularly

My experience is that where there is a deceased person and money involved, somehow or other every man and his wife, figuratively speaking, comes out of the woodwork and somehow or other makes a claim, however tenuous the link. My advice, I'm not a lawyer, just have plenty of life experience, is to avoid questions and get lawyered up. Then you will know how to proceed. And be prepared to give him rather more of the estate than either you or your mother wanted, but take the legal advice. Else you risk losing the lot to lawyers fees.

No but do read the sensible replies first

I think it's likely that he has a claim on the estate.

Imagine this scenario:

A man and a woman get married. The husband goes out to work and the wife stays at home to look after the house and children. A very common set up for many people over the last 50+ years.

They buy a house with a mortgage based on the husband's earnings, plus some money from an inheritance. The husband is responsible for all financial payments. Again, a very common set up.

Unfortunately the wife has some life limiting disabilities but despite this she is still able to care for the children and they live together sharing their lives for 40 years.

When the husband sadly dies, his disabled, and now elderly, wife discovers that his will leaves her nothing. He has left everything to his daughter who now expects the wife (her mother) to leave the family home with no share of the marital assets.

Now, switch the sexes around and you get OPs scenario. I don't think OP has a leg to stand on.

I think the OP might have a leg to stand on but so does her father. It's likely his reasonable needs will need to be met from the estate and there will also need to be consideration of any constructive trust in the property. The daughter might get the residue, if any.

Yes, I mean no leg to stand on with regards to him getting no share of the marital assets.

Personally I would try mediation to agree a fair portion to sign over to him. It would save legal costs. If they cannot agree then presumably it will have to go to court for a judge to decide, which would cost £££s

@wikidee . I was in a similar position to you.
Well done for escaping and surviving. I was astonished at the lack of support from people to be honest especially the police

What a fascinating conclusion you have drawn, based on a handful of words and zero other knowledge about OP, her Father, his behaviour, her behaviour, her relationship with him etc etc.

Do you offer your all-seeing, all-knowing skills on a per-hour basis?

Just as her mother can't actually will her husbands share of the house away, the father can't will the mothers share of the house away. So your bizarrely vicious revenge on a total stranger, posting at a time of confusion and upset, will not come to fruition.

Op's posts have been quite vicious @WiddlinDiddlin
I doubt it's completely grief driven, I suspect it's her usual manner. She did say that all she wants is the money 🤷🏻‍♀️