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Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Original poster

Oh fuck what is going to happen?

541 replies

notahappybunny7 · 10/09/2023 23:23

My mum has passed away. She has left everything in her will to me(house paid(220k and about 50k in savings)
no other siblings off my mother but my dad has 4 more(no relationship with them)
they're married have been for 40+ years but he’s a twat who’s never worked properly, my mum has grafted her arse off to pay mortgage and ct, he has paid utilities and food, well the basics my mum alway bought her lunches and any luxuries. No joint accounts ever.
I’m not money grabbing it my mum wanted this for me and my daughter, to better our lives, he is saying he’s not moving and will contest the will. What will happen?

OP posts:
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KatStratford · 11/09/2023 10:58

As much as it may seem unfair to the OP the father has a legally viable claim to a share of the estate. Furthermore, as he is likely to need state assistance/care imminently (particularly if the OP evicts him) the Local Authority would most likely view the unorthodox provisions of a will disinheriting a spouse of 40 years, as a scheme to avoid care fees.
OP you may find sympathy and support here but as the majority of posters have suggested, you need sound legal advice in order to effect an equitable, sustainable and non-contestable compromise.

GG1986 · 11/09/2023 11:06

Slow down, get a solicitor for advice. Sorry about your mum x

SequentialAnalyst · 11/09/2023 11:15

Get proper advice from a solicitor. Take time to think things through very thoroughly. Don't negotiate with him. Don't speak to him, in fact, for the time being. If that can't be avoided, anything he says to you just reply "I'll bear that in mind."

Don't get sucked into his mind. Know your own truth. Know what you think is fair. Find out from a solicitor what possible compromises you could offer, then think whether there is any compromise which you might be prepared to offer.

I learned to do the above by divorcing my abusive Ex. Stay strong, OP.

CheshireCat1 · 11/09/2023 11:16

I’m sorry for your loss. Try and deal with the emotional side of this and grieve for your mum, you need time to come to terms with your loss. Let a solicitor deal with the financial side of it for your own sake.

HarrietJet · 11/09/2023 11:17

Know your own truth. Know what you think is fair
No, actually just get legal advice 🙄

Choux · 11/09/2023 11:19

InfiniteTeas · 11/09/2023 10:45

I am a solicitor with some basic knowledge of probate, although I didn't work in that field. Unfortunately, at a glance, this looks very much like one of the relatively rare cases where someone could successfully contest a will. If he makes a claim, and you fight it, it is highly unlikely that there will be an estate left for anyone to claim. His behaviour within the marriage will be irrelevant.

You need legal advice as soon as possible, and you need to be meticulous in recording every tiny little bit of communication around the probate process, as you are in a potentially vulnerable position as an executor and beneficiary of what is clearly going to be a contested estate. And when you go to a solicitor and they tell you that your father would win if the estate goes to litigation, you need to take emotion out of it and listen. Much of what you're saying about your parents' relationship is irrelevant, and a solicitor is going to have to tell you that - possibly tactfully, possibly not. Emotion doesn't matter when it comes to litigation. Only the law matters.

The best outcome for you is probably that your father accepts an offer of half the estate and it's settled out of court. I strongly suspect, however, that any solicitor he approaches will be advising him to go for the bulk of it. There are very few outcomes here that end up with you inheriting much, if anything, and many that end up with you engaged in stressful, costly and lengthy legal proceedings, so please take some robust advice and listen to it.

I agree with a lot of this but actually the best outcome for you is that you come to an agreement that he can live in the house without him needing to contact a solicitor to find out he would probably get at least half if he went to court.

As much as it will be difficult for you, your best path if possible is to appease him enough by letting him live there etc if that is what he wants so that he never gets legal advice. You keep all the assets but he feels secure enough that he can live out his days easily there that the 'workshy c**t' as you call him doesn't bother putting the effort in to find out what he could have got legally. Good luck.

Yalta · 11/09/2023 11:23

As others have said, you need to take the anger and unfairness out of everything.

See a solicitor and look at all the possible outcomes and not just the ones that benefit you and work with your father to come to a mutually benefitting solution.

I think if you could get your father to drop the contesting of the will but allow the property to pass to you and draw up a contract that he can live in the property for as long as he wants, that would be the best you can hope for.

You need to look at the reality and the law and approach your father offering honey and not venom.

If you are not offering anything or offering him something he doesn’t want then what has he got to lose.

Genenomi · 11/09/2023 11:23

notahappybunny7 · 11/09/2023 09:59

Yeah if you call
looking after me sitting me outside a pub while he got pissed with his mates

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I haven't got any advice to offer OP, I just wanted to send you an unmumsnetty hug.

I could see earlier on in the thread a couple of posters had suggested you were being unfair on this man that calls himself your father. I can understand how much that would upset you because anyone that suggested my father or stepfather deserve a moment of my attention would also get short thrift! Even if they were justified in what they suggesting!

These type of men are nothing but cruel, selfish bastards and when you have suffered at the hands of them for years and years and seen your mother tortured by them, it is impossible to show them any compassion whatsoever. It's easier to see things objectively when you haven't suffered at the hands of the abuser.

My stepfather is (hopefully) on his way to his third heart attack and christ knows where my dad is now and I don't care. I only care for my mum and I too would be heartbroken having to deal with these cretinous men any longer than I had to.

I just wanted to send some (probably useless) solidarity OP 💐

Cardboardcup · 11/09/2023 11:24

Difficult one as they were married. My MIL left her half of the house to my husbands and his sister but her partner will stay there until he dies. I’m sure he’ll of the house will belong to you mums husband as they were married. Definitely need a solicitor to sort this out.

wikidee · 11/09/2023 11:25

If you was married for 40 years to someone and then after they died you found out that they had left the house to someone else how would you feel? You state that your mum never reported your step parent's coercive behaviour etc and stayed with him for 40 plus Years . I can only imagine how I would feel if I was in his shoes. I am certain that because your step parent provided food etc he will be deemed to be joint owner of the property regardless of the will. because he did contribute in a way that was agreeable to your mother for over 40 years to the household The same thing happened in my family years ago now and it ended up that a court decided they took everything into account and I mean everything it became very nasty as far s I remember and it cost a lot of money if your step dad is on benefits he may qualify for legal aid. It might be better to see if you can come to a resolution without this going to court that he lives in the house until he dies then you inherit it. It would be far better to reach a resolution now than to lose everything in court fees etc. He does have a very good case especially if it is only your word against him regarding his behaviour.

38andtrying · 11/09/2023 11:29

its the matrimonial home, regardless of whose name was on it as far as i know he will be entitled to half or so, this happens often but usually in reverse being the woman's name is not on the home, sorry but i think you are not going to win this one

pikkumyy77 · 11/09/2023 11:36

Following.

JudgeJ · 11/09/2023 11:37

Fleur02 · 10/09/2023 23:59

The law seems quite likely to disagree with you here.

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Exactly this. I also think that the solicitor who drew up your late Mother's will was very remiss in not trying to address this situation, if s/he knew about it and assuming your late mother used a solicitor and not one of these places that just write the will.

horseyhorsey17 · 11/09/2023 11:38

As a matter of interest OP - are you an only child? Will you inherit the house anyway or is there a chance your dad would try and make sure you didn't get it? How about step/half-siblings, is there anyone else who might have a vested interest in making sure your dad contests the will?

HarrietJet · 11/09/2023 11:40

horseyhorsey17 · 11/09/2023 11:38

As a matter of interest OP - are you an only child? Will you inherit the house anyway or is there a chance your dad would try and make sure you didn't get it? How about step/half-siblings, is there anyone else who might have a vested interest in making sure your dad contests the will?

That's a point. Op says her father had four more children.

Cotonsugar · 11/09/2023 11:41

I haven’t read many replies but if I were you I would go and see a solicitor or citizens advice bureau to find out what your mother’s husband’s legal position is and take it from there.

horseyhorsey17 · 11/09/2023 11:42

HarrietJet · 11/09/2023 11:40

That's a point. Op says her father had four more children.

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Just thinking there's a good chance they'd be after a piece of the estate when their dad dies. Unlikely then that they'd let the will go unchallenged either.

Isthiscorrect · 11/09/2023 11:43

@notahappybunny7
Have you made an appointment with a solicitor yet? This is imperative. You can't move forward until you fully understand what options are available to you.
Good luck. You're going to need it, sadly.

ICanFeelItComingInTheAirTonight · 11/09/2023 11:50

Why are people sticking up for an abuser? Clearly they've been lucky enough to not have been either a victim or witness to DV/DA!
I have been both witness and victim, but I was lucky that both my mum and myself escaped our abusive relationships.
OP, I have no words of advice, other than to parrot what PPs have said and that is go to a solicitor ASAP. But you have my condolences and hope in this sad time. I hope everything works out for you 💐

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 11/09/2023 11:51

Querypost · 11/09/2023 10:34

But they DIDN'T buy the home together? It's in her mother's name.

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Completely irrelevant since they were married. It’s legally their matrimonial asset and the OP’s father has a legal right to the share he would have got on divorce (which since he is disabled and a lower earner will if anything be more than 50%).

Lovemusic82 · 11/09/2023 11:55

I am not an expert in law but the fact they were married and he may have contributed in some way will surely mean he is entitled to something. I don’t think you can kick him out and sell the house from under him how ever much you don’t like him. I’m guessing you have no proof of most the things you are saying, no proof that your mum wanted to kick him out or that he was abusive and lazy?

Any advice given here is mainly just people’s opinions, you need to seek real legal advice to know where you stand with this.

Fleur02 · 11/09/2023 11:56

ICanFeelItComingInTheAirTonight · 11/09/2023 11:50

Why are people sticking up for an abuser? Clearly they've been lucky enough to not have been either a victim or witness to DV/DA!
I have been both witness and victim, but I was lucky that both my mum and myself escaped our abusive relationships.
OP, I have no words of advice, other than to parrot what PPs have said and that is go to a solicitor ASAP. But you have my condolences and hope in this sad time. I hope everything works out for you 💐

Edited

Can you point out a post where someone is doing that? I can’t see anything of the sort.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 11/09/2023 11:57

Why are people sticking up for an abuser?

Nobody's "sticking up" - sounds like a Y5 description Hmm - for anyone, except perhaps OP herself

No doubt many of us will regret that the guy has rights almost as much as OP does, but that doesn't change the fact he has them and misleading OP would help no-one at all

That said few of us will be legal experts, which will be precisely why many have strongly urged her to get professional advice

IsleofSkies · 11/09/2023 11:58

THE WILL

It makes me wonder if the Will was hand composed on a form from WH Smith, the back of an envelope, or produced with a qualified solicitor (and not a 'will writing company' who are not always qualified.)

@notahappybunny7 This is very important, If your mum's Will was drawn up by a solicitor you may have some come-back against them, as she was given very bad advice.

Regardless of the animosity between your mum and dad, no decent solicitor would have advised writing him out of the will, or drawing up a will on the assumption she would live the longest. That's negligence and you need to pursue it if relevant.